KatyaHmm. It’s much how I imagine.
Oh, because of my letters? Well, descriptive narrative has always been a strong point--
Katya
No, not your letters. I see on news.
What do you mean, you’ve seen on news? You don’t have news in the Ukraine. You don’t have televisions.
Katya
Yes, we do.
Katya
We do.
Katya
Of course.
Erin, stop hogging the Russian.
Yeah, come on, Erin. Give Orla a go.
She’s Ukrainian, actually.
Yeah, go on, love. Say something to Katya.
You name sounds a bit like “cat”.
You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
Katya
No.
Katya
No.
Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
Katya
I do not know this person.
Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
Katya
I don’t read your letters, Erin.
I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
Katya
Your letters, they bore.
Katya
Exactly.
Katya
I can smoke here, yes?
No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… (makes squishing sounds)
I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
Katya
Okay.
When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
Katya
Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
Katya
But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
Katya
To me, is stupid.
Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
Katya
Who is this?
Katya
You are handsome.
Katya
And also sexy.
Is her English not great?
Why would she do that? Why?
Fuck knows. He’s minging.
She seems to be really enjoying it.
Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
Katya
And when Erin finished reading me her poetry, she showed me some old walls.
I showed you “the walls”. I showed you the city walls, and they are nothing short of spectacular.
Ach, if she’s not into walls, she’s not into walls, Erin, love.
Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
Well, that’s hardly news.
Two buns he says you ordered.
An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
That’s not like you, Granda.
Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
Katya
Horns, fingers. Who cares?
He swore on it. Said he saw it being bagged up.
And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does.
Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da?
I was visiting a friend of mine.
A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman. Sarah, what do you think of that?
We met at the Stations of the Cross.
Jesus falls for the second time.
I could do without the details, Da.
Maeve and me, we… We just get on well, that’s all.
Maeve? That’s her name, is it?
Maeve. That’s what she’s called, is she?
Maeve. Maeve. Really? Maeve?
Katya
Why does your mother make that sound?
I think it’s a good thing, love.
Just keep out of it, you!
And that’s who you were winking at in mass?
Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
It was only a friendly wink.
There is no such thing as a friendly wink!
Our poor mother is barely cold, and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
Look, I’ll not tell you again!
I’m sorry. I seem to have lost my appetite. (she leaves)
Derry Girls · 94 quotes
