Jack Fenton quotes from Danny Phantom

Maddie

And Jack? Try not to trash the house while I'm gone.

Jack

[sighs] Suck the house into a parallel dimension ONE TIME, and you just can't let it go, can you?

Jack

[sees Jazz in her mom's spare Hazmat suit] Jazz? Why, look at you. You're the spitting image of your mother. I always knew this day would come. That why, years ago, I had this made! [Pulls out a hazmat suit identical to his own]

Jazz

[sarcastically] Nice.

Jack

Uh... Sorry about the size. I always thought you'd be swimming in my end of the gene pool. The end filled with ranch dressing, melted cheese and fudge. LOTS of fudge.

[to Jack, who just ripped his clothes off with Fenton Peeler, thinking he was a ghost] I can't give you detention, but someone named Fenton is staying after school.

[pretend to check their watches] Whoa, look at the time! [they both run away, leaving Danny there]

Danny

[to Sam and Tucker] My dad looked like a total fool. Did you see the way those ghost hunters were laughing at him? How embarrassing! We're all gonna have to live with my dad's goof-ups for the rest of our lives. [pause; Sam clears her throat] He's right behind me, isn't he?

Jack

[sadly] Yes, he is. If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs, doing something wrong. [walks back up the stairs dejectedly]

Tucker

[to Danny] Nice. You wanna go make your mom cry?

Jack

[sets Danny free from the Fenton Weasel] Ghost kid, you gotta help me save my family. If you do, I'll set you free.

Danny

Um, you just did. [Jack smacks his forehead] [to himself] Good thing my dad's a lousy negotiator.

Jack

Watch out for that hacky- [gets splattered by hackysack] -sack. [to Danny Phantom] Just so you know, I don't enjoy helping you.

Danny

Then don't! I can handle these idiots, go save our family! I mean, yours...your family...not mine.

[To the Fentons and the Mansons] Some might call this little act of rebellion, "a cry for attention." But I call it, "a cry for detention!" Ha, ha, ha! Isn't that clever?

Sam

[angrily] Nice job, Danny! Maybe I should’ve cried, “Hey, it’s Inviso-Bill”!

Danny

I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me back there...

Jack

[to Danny] Bad judgment, that’s what! Next time think before you act! [wrist ectoplasmic goo launcher accidentally misfires and splatters goo all over Sam’s parents]

Obviously, the apple doesn't fall far from the overbearing, orange jumpsuited tree!

Jack

You got a problem with jumpsuits?!

Maddie

Jack, let me handle this... You got a problem with jumpsuits?!

[ignores them] Samantha... I forbid you from seeing this boy, or any of your other troubled friends.

Sam

My friends are perfectly normal!

[stares for a moment, then facepalms] This is so wrong!

We owe you Fentons a debt of gratitude, and an apology!

Jack

Save it for the big sale, Thriston! We need to bust out of this tent!

Leave it to us!

If it's one thing we Mansons know how to do, it's whip an angry mob of parents into a frenzy!

Jack

Nick work, kids! You caught that weirdo Goth punk thief red-handed!

I'm just happy you're all safe.

They're more than safe, they're heroes.

Maddie

We're so proud of you!

[yelling] But you're all still grounded!

Grounded, schmounded! This is cruel and unusual punishment!

Sam

[shown to be wearing a pink floral dress] I know... But it was the only way I could convince them to lift their restraining order on Danny.

Danny

At least Freakshow's in custody and the stolen goods were returned.

Tucker

So why do I feel like we're forgetting something...?

Waiting for Godot, is anybody out there?! [crying] This is so wrong!

[Comes in] See you Monday.

Danny

[whispers to Sam] I call that a fakeout makeout.

Sam

[blushes] Yeah, I know.

Jack

[to Danny] You're in a lot of trouble, mister! [to Sam] And who the heck are you?

Sam

Uh...I'm Paulina?

Jack

Then Danny Fenton is never, ever, allowed to see you, Paulina.

Jack

Why do I suddenly feel like I have buns of steel?

Maddie

At last! I mean, I love you just the way you are. [hugs Jack]

Jazz

Ew!

Sam

[drinking tea] I'm getting worried. We haven't seen Danny or Valerie for hours.

Jack

Ah, they're fine. They've been up in Danny's room. Alone. For hours.

Jazz

See? This toxic home environment is making him a nervous wreck! [Danny's eye twitches] He needs a normal family outing! One that has nothing to do with ghosts!

Danny

Will you stop talking about me like I'm not here?! [invisible Youngblood pokes Danny] AND WILL YOU STOP POKING ME?!

Maddie

I don't know, Jazz, honey. Sure Danny seems a little high-strung but I'm sure it's nothing we can't work out here...

Danny

Back off, punk! [snatches an ecto-gun and fires it all around the lab]

[find cover behind piles of boxes]

Maddie

[to Jazz] I'll get the sleeping bags.

Jack

And I'll get that ghost hunting equipment! [Maddie and Jazz gives him disapproving glares] And by ghost hunting equipment, I mean..Uh...The other sleeping bags!

Maddie

Who's up for a game of "I Spy"? I spy with my little eyes something beginning with... C!

Jack

Cola, chaffing, cattleprod...

Danny

Cowboy?

Jazz

Where do you see a cowboy?

Danny

Duh, he's riding right next to us!...At seventy miles an hour? Oh no not again.

Jack

Where is he? Where's our son?

Maddie

What have you done to our boy?!

Dark Danny

[laughing] Ha, ha, ha! I am your boy!

Maddie

What?!?

Dark Danny

What kind of parents were you anyway? The world's leading ghost experts, and you couldn't even figure out that your own son was half-ghost!

Jack

[to Maddie] For the record, I blame you.