Jack Fenton quotes from Danny Phantom

Jack

Danny! Word on the street has it that you've got a girlfriend! [to Sam and Tucker] Can you two leave so I can have a totally awkward "father and son"-chat?

[run off] Gone and gone!

Danny

Does it have to be awkward?

Jack

Yep! I'm gonna give you some fatherly advice. Then I am going to say something that makes you cringe and run out of the room in embarrassment!

Danny

Check. Advice, first?

Jack

Alright... If you really like this girl, Danny, you should let her know and give her something... Like this! [puts a ring on the table]

Danny

[surprised] A class ring?

Jack

A girlfriend's not a girlfriend until you give her a class ring, Danny. It also says, "I think you could be the girl I fight ghosts with"! [beat] At least it did with your mom - I don't know how appropriate that is for you...

Danny

[laughs] You'd be surprised. I can give her this?

Jack

Only if she's special. I'm sure Sam'll love it!

Danny

[alarmed] It's not for Sam!

Jack

[laughs, unconvinced] Of course, it's not! You guys are just friends! [leans in slightly] I even had it engraved! [Danny looks at the ring, and sure enough, Sam's name is engraved on the inside] See, that was the embarrassing thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for pie! [holds up a pie, Danny walks off] Clueless...

Jack

[hears the phone ringing] Maddie can you get that phone please!

Maddie

I can't believe Danny, Tucker, and Sam are not at school! [Maddie picks up the phone] Hello, Mr. Lancer. [Maddie is shocked to hear about Tucker and Sam's behavior by Mr. Lancer] [gasp] They what?!

Jack

[angry and yelling] Sam! Tucker! Get out of that thing!

Sam

[shouting] What?! I couldn't hear you over the roar of the rockets! [leans back into the Specter Speeder; to Tucker] Could you activate the roar of the rockets please?! [Tucker activates the roar of the rockets and they drive out of the Fenton Household]

Jack

[angry and yelling] You two kids are in a world of trouble!

[to Danny, Sam and Tucker] YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

Jack

Skipping school, stealing and wrecking the Specter Speeder!

Calling me "old man!"

Maddie

Tucker, Sam, when I call your parents, you are going to be grounded... [Maddie pauses - she has been overshadowed by Dani] but there's no need to call their parents, really. Right?

What?!

Just wait a minute! [Mr. Lancer pauses - he has also been overshadowed by Dani] No, she's right. I mean, you can always build a better and more cool version of your... ship thing. Right?

Jack

Hey, that's true! I'm gonna start building a cooler ship thing right now! [He runs to his lab. Everyone else looks at each other, confused.]

[to Jack; after Danny's secret is revealed] YOU!

Jack

YOU! [Sam's dad & Jack face off and start glaring at each other.]

We were watching "Extreme Nanny Makeover", when we found out YOUR son was a ghost!

Jack

Why are you yelling at us?! YOUR spooky-yooky bat daughter HAS to be behind this!

[steps in] Now fellas, it's okay to point fingers as long as nobody's pointing them at my son.

Maddie

[exasperatedly] Okay! Maybe Danny IS the ghost boy. But it's not as though our ghost activities have ever put YOUR families in any danger!

Jack

[shrugs] Until now.

[to Tucker's dad] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.

[to Jack] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.

Jack

[to Maddie] This is...[realizes who he's talking about] HEY! Wait a minute!

Danny

[pretending to be hurt] Uuuuugh, uh, wha-? What happened? I'm just a helpless, impressionable teenager who was minding my own business when- [winks at Sam and Tucker] - boom!

Sam

[smiles then gasps] Oh my gosh! The Mayor shot Danny!

Tucker

[pretends to weep] He zapped an innocent kid! [everyone turns and glares at Vlad]

Vlad

What? I... NO!... I mean... [the crowd points and yells at him accusingly. Jack and Maddie run over to Danny]

Danny! Danny! Are you all right?

Maddie

[nuzzles Danny] Oh my baby!

Vlad

Please! I can explain! [glares at Danny and Danny smiles]

Jack

Get your filthy roots off my town, you horticultural horror! [To Maddie] Thanks for writing down the word "horticulture" sweetface.

Maddie

I didn't want you to mispronounce it during the battle cry, hon. First impressions are very important.

Jack

And you married me anyway.

Jack

Well, if it isn't my heroes, the Guys in White!

Maddie

[annoyed] I'm surprised you rang the bell. Don't you usually knock down a wall or crash through the ceiling?

Sorry, habit.

[clears throat and reads from card] The government is sorry about the past... misunderstandings.

Like labeling you a crackpot, Fenton. That was... [reads from card] wrong of us.

The government now admits that you Fentons are, uh, well, [reads from card] geniuses.

Jack

Well it's about doggone time!

Maddie

Oh, Jack, finally! Government approval of our work!

About that work. The government has authorized us to buy it lock, stock, and barrel.

Jack

Ha! Don't be ridiculous. [gestures] I've poured my heart, soul, and life's blood into this laboratory, and you can't put a price on that! FentonWorks is not for sale!

[unfolds and shows Jack a giant check]

Jack

Wow, that's a lotta zeroes! [produces a keyring] It's all yours!

Maddie

[angry] Jack, you can't sell our home! [handed the check; reads it] Wow, that's a lotta zeroes! We'll be out by noon tomorrow!

Jack

I see cozy backyard barbeques in our future!

Vlad

Yes, of course, that sounds fun. [quietly] Akin to sticking hot needles in my-

Maddie

[cutting him off] Jack! [comes out of the house] You won't believe it! I got lost - in my walk-in closet! I finally got a ride out on my automated shoe rack. Oh, hello Vlad! [scoffs] We're neighbors?

Vlad

[happy now] Indeed, I forgot for a moment that you would be moving in with Jack. I'll pop by later and drop off a "Welcome to the Block" bundt cake.

[excited] Ooooo!

Valerie

You don't think it's a little dangerous flying into the lab of a family of ghost hunters?

Danny

Something tells me we'll...be okay.

Jack

He-he-hey! Am I good or what? [cheesy grin]

Danny

It's good to be back where things are normal.

Jack

[recklessly driving the Fenton RV down the street] Attention Amity Park! The Fentons are on patrol! Rest assured the streets are safe! [front tire runs over a rock, causing the RV to skid] AOH! [RV collides with a fire hydrant, which flies off causing a geyser] Uh, city water supply A-OK!

Tucker

Yep, normal.

Vlad

[has just realized he can't touch the asteroid or go home] Ecto-ranium? Then I can never touch it. No ghost can. That means... the Earth is doomed. And even if it wasn't I could never go back. I've revealed... my true self. I'll be forever hunted. Jack, you have to help me. You wouldn't turn your back on an old friend, would you?

Jack

An old friend? No. You? Yes! [fires the rocket's jets, leaving Vlad behind]

Vlad

JACK!

Danny

By the way, where do Mom and Dad think Danny Fenton is right now, anyway?

Jazz

With them. I redressed the Tuckbot 9000 to make it look and act like you. They'll never know the difference.

Jack

Nothing like saving the world with your old man, eh Danny?

[still sounding like a robotic Tucker] Comment does not compute.

Jack

Your voice is changing already? [sadly] Man, they grow up so fast!