TV show quotes
Speed Racer's Mach 5 does not come close to the Batmobile. End of story.
Are you kidding me? The Mach-5 had submersible capabilitites and a robotic homing pigeon.
Yeah, so did the Batmobile. Along with rocket boosters and armor plating.
Mach-5: Rotary saw.
All right, Montana. Did Speed Racer's Mach-5 have a field forensics kit?
The Batmobile did not have a field forensics kit.
In the Batmobile's trunk, it did.
That explains so much.
(laughing) Oh, how is the new girlfriend?
Keep walking, Messer.
No, seriously, where did you meet her?
Met her at a charity event. Police/fire hockey game.
So she's got teeth, or...?
Move!
(A dent in a car bounces back)
What the hell kinda car are you?
(to Flack) You know, the NYPD has a strict policy against high-speed chases. Or did you forget that?
No, sir.
The next time you want to run up a $60 cab fare, you do that on your own time. You're lucky no one got hurt.
In theory, if you built a machine that could travel the speed of light away from here, then slowed down, turned around and flew home just as fast, when you got back, a trip that might have lasted just seconds for you, could've been weeks for everybody else.
Kinda like your explanation.
Can I have your number?
Why, are you in trouble?
No, but I'd like to be.
(scene shift to Danny and Stella listening to Angell)
So did you give him your number?
I dunno. If I could go anywhere back in time, I'd probably go back to my folks' place in Queens for my mom's corn beef Wednesdays. Yeah, I'd endure every one of my brothers' insults for one more taste of that paradise.
(about the evidence) Turns out it's an experimental sexual enhancement drug, only available in clinical trials.
Don't look at me, I don't need it.
You're too old anyway. It's currently being tested on students at Chelsea University's health center.
Argh, it's like throwing gas on a raging hormonal fire.
At least tell me what he said?
What who said?
The guy about me dying tomorrow.
Well, I'm sorry, that's part of an ongoing investigation.
This morning you said he'd been to the future. Did he say how or where or when I'd be killed?
Again, unless you have some information to share that might shed some light on our victim, I don't see what else we can do for you.
How about guaranteeing me I'm still alive in 24 hours!
(about Stella receiving a parachute as a gift)
There are safer ways to beat the traffic.
Oh, traffic I can handle. Men are another story.
What is it?
(opening an envelope) Hmm. Gift certificate for a skydiving lesson. Met this guy in an antique store and then bumped into him again... at a coffee stand. And suddenly he wants... to hold hands at 10,000 feet. So he sent me a parachute.
Original and daring.
And a bit too aggressive for me. What?
You were smiling when you opened the box.
(chuckles a little) Mac, my last boyfriend tried to kill me and I shot him.
Well, maybe this guy's a little different. Why don't you just run him through NYSPIN?
Actually, I already did. There are three Drew Bedfords in the city. One is 96 and lives in a rest home. The other is in juvie for painting boobs on a billboard. And my original endearing friend is, uh, squeaky clean.
You and I are alike in a lot of ways. We both do everything we can to avoid this sort of thing. Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge.
So you're telling me to fall for all this?
Stella, Peyton pursued me. I never thought I'd enjoy another relationship either. Forget about all the risks of romance and enjoy the rewards.
[about a girl who was killed by fatal orgasm while eating a pickle]
Must've been a hell of a pickle.
[Laughs] Well, Detective Angell just got me a court order to pull all the patient files and talk to the students directly. I'm hoping that this will give us an I.D. on the perp.
Fantastic. We got horny college kids and horny mammals. You wanna trade?
Mammals?
Prehistoric, to be exact.
Double-click on that template. Now, male or female?
(Mac Taylor looks at him, eyebrows raised)
This is fantasy, be all you can be!
(Fighting warriors in Second Life) Who's your daddy?
(Speaking for his female avatar) Hi. I like the name. (pause) I love waterfalls, don't you?
(Laughing) Oh, my God.
What?
You have no game whatsoever.
Look, I don't need a backseat avatar.
All right, then move over. Come on. Before your suspect bails. (takes the headset in his place on the game) Hey, Don. Sorry about that. I was, uh, distracted by a phone call. My name's Taylor. What do you say we get outta here and go for a walk?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: NY pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
