Horatio Caine quotes from CSI: Miami

Did you know Horatio was the first CSI?

Horatio

He was... the what?

In Hamlet. When Hamlet was poisoned and dying, he asked his best friend Horatio to tell the world who murdered him.

Horatio

Alexx. There's only one thing I know that burns like that.

Alexx

Radiation. We can't stay here.

Horatio

Got to notify the team; they may have been exposed, too. [presses the alarm button]

Horatio

I've one more question for you. Do you have a life insurance policy on your wife?

Are you kidding? I don't even have health insurance.

Horatio

You see, I think if we connect these two cases, we'll have a shot at probable cause.

Tripp

The probable cause is that she's a stripper, she's a junkie, and she's a whore.

Horatio

She's also a human being.

Tripp

And now she's a corpse.

Horatio

The husband is dead... the wife is dead...

Tripp

The Russian's dead.

Horatio

Yes. Let's go talk to the other Russian, the cousin, before he chokes on a Twizzler.

Horatio

How do you feel?

Calleigh

Like a hummingbird on six cups of coffee.

Horatio

This cocaine did not come from Haiti.

Not unless Haiti is in the middle of our crime lab.

Horatio

[About the polygraph test.] They ask about your girlfriend?

Eric

H, you know I don't have a girlfriend.

Horatio

No girlfriend this week?

Horatio

Hey, Jack. You miss being a real cop?

You're just full of 'em today, aren't you?

Horatio

You have no idea.

[Watching Delko smash expensive tile.] Do you have any idea how much one of those costs?

Horatio

About half as much as two.

Tripp

Saw your friend out front. Guy thinks he's Tom Brokaw.

Horatio

If he's Tom Brokaw, I'm Elliot Ness.

Calleigh

Sometimes it's difficult to have family.

Horatio

Sometimes it's more difficult not to.

You're not going to be able to prove a thing.

Horatio Caine

That is a very dumb thing to say to a CSI.

Horatio

Jon, this guy stinks.

Well, maybe, Horatio - but the courts only care how the evidence smells.

The club was grandfathered in--built pre-code.

Horatio Caine

Yeah, I bet you those chained exit doors were grandfathered in, too, huh?

What'd you expect me to do? People were sneaking in.

Horatio Caine

And dying to get out.