Dan Cooper quotes from CSI: Miami

People don't plan to fail, but they do fail to plan.

Dan Cooper

Not that I'm not enjoying these, but this guy's gross.

Cooper

[About Erica Sykes.] She's hot.

Ryan

She's a case against the First Amendment.

Cooper

M. Boland is the only one who signed on today.

Ryan

Yeah, that's her husband. How did you know that?

Cooper

I'm a computer geek, Ryan. It's what I do.

Ryan

Fondue set? Who eats fondue?

Cooper

I do.

Ryan

That's exactly my point.

Cooper

Don't tell anyone this, but I think she's got a thing for H.

Ryan

Cooper, are you writing a blog? I've got a suspect on ice!

Ryan

[Looking at the result of Cooper's server search.] ... And that's the IP-address, right?

Cooper

You catch on, that's cute.

Cooper

You obviously want they guy we can't see.

Eric

So obvious I don't have to answer.

Eric

Uh, ladies, this is D.C. We work together.

Cooper

[Staring at two beautiful girls in beach attire.] Hey...

Eric

Give him a second. He'll get up to two syllables!

Cooper

Yep, that's how the Feds operate.

Natalia

[Sarcastic.] Yeah, 'cause you're a big FBI expert.

Cooper

It's what they do. They start an investigation, put in an operative.

Natalia

[Sarcastic and disbelieving.] An operative...

Cooper

Which they make sure they get out before the fur starts to fly.

Natalia

You've seen too many Tom Clancy movies.

Dan Cooper

Trust me on this. Things are about to go down.

Cooper

You know, it suits you.

Calleigh

What?

Cooper

Being boss.

Calleigh

It's temporary.

Cooper

Okay, Lieutenant Duquesne.

Calleigh

The payscale'd be nice though. Find me.

Cooper

So we have to collect oil samples from all these?

Eric

That's right.

Eric

Problem, Coop?

Cooper

No, no, no problem.

Eric

You don't know where the oil cap is, do you?

Cooper

I'm just more of a four-wheel type guy.

Cooper

So I frankensteined this little contraption together you see before your eyes. It's my little monster. It's kinda fitting for the case, don't you think?

Calleigh

Yes, it's very cute. In fact, I can't believe you put all of this together today; it took me a week to set up my TiVo.

Cooper

Yeesh! I wish I could un-see that.

Calleigh

I'm sorry, can you play it again?

Cooper

I have a theory. You can tell a lot about a person by what they have on their MP3 player.

Calleigh

What d'ya got?

Cooper

With 5 Tori Amos albums on this thing, we're looking for a girl.