HodgesAll the hairs lifted off the victim's clothes were consistent with each other. There's a sample under the scope. The root is shaped like a spade which is indicitative of canine. The scale pattern is consistent with a golden retriever.
Oh, yeah the victims have a golden retriever.
Hodges
Well if you cracked that mystery at the scene, you would have saved me a lot of time. [sighs] I've been working like a dog.
You know studies have found that pet owners have lower stress levels, you should, you should check that out.
Hodges
Well, I had a hamster when I was growing up. My mother hated them she said they stank out my room. But I just loved to watch them spinning on their little wheels. One day I came home and they were gone. Somehow they'd gotten out of their cage.
How much did your mother hate them?
Hodges
They ran away.
How many hot dogs did he eat?
Hodges
Approximately twenty.
God. Ugh, do you think we might be able to ID the makers of the hot dog from the ingredients?
Hodges
No, believe it or not most hot dog companies are very proprietary over their recipes.
Well how about through the girdle marks?
Hodges
Oh yeah sure, I'll just run it through the Hot Dog Appliance database.
[seeing Hodges color in his grey hair with a marker pen]: Vanity, thy name is Hodges.
Hodges
This isn't what it looks like. I actually like my grey hair, the few that I have.
Hodges, don't you know that grey hair can be very attractive? [Grissom and Hodges look at her suggestively] The, uh, ring?
Hodges
Ah, teen lust. It starts with some chemistry, mess around with some biology. [Nick and Sara give each other look] And once you have some experience under your belt then you introduce the physics. Apparently chivalry is not dead. The bloody fingerprint tested positive for nonoxynol spermicide.
So much for the boyfriend.
If we can't pin this on Hannah or Marlon they could both walk.
Hodges
You could flip a coin.
Are you checking out my waist?
Hodges
I'm a, I'm a 32 incher myself... same as in college.
Hodges
You know, women aren't the only ones who feel the pressure to look good. Time was, having a rotund belly was a sign of prosperity and success... now, it just means you're a lazy glutton not getting any.
Hodges
Four crime scene miniatures. Four murder victims. And one diabolical killer with an obsessive streak who still remains at large. I don't know if any of you have noticed how distracted Grissom's been lately, but it's these keeping him up at night.
You know the combination?
Hodges
Of course. Grissom could use some fresh eyes on the case and that's why I've asked you here. Obviously, this could be perceived as insulting to the CSIs who formerly worked the case, so secrecy is of the utmost importance. Double down low.
[in a British accent] Oh James, it's Monnypenny. M needs you back at HQ.
Shoe phone was get smart, girl.
Hodges
Four people are dead, the killer's still out there, and you're mocking?
Hodges
You in or out?
I don't really know anything about these cases.
Hodges
We'll review.
I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.
Hodges
And by work, you mean IMing your Icelandic penpal who thinks that you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.
Hodges
I just know. Archie? In?
What the hell? But I gotta leave early. I've got a surfing trip in Santa Barbra this weekend.
Hodges
Miss Mockery?
Well, we can't leave the lab. We can't talk to suspects. What exactly does Grissom want us to do?
Hodges
It's not always what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Hodges
Oh, is it?
Okay, professor, and your point would be?
Hodges
The answers lie in these. We're lab techs. We think differently than field guys. They deal with people, we deal with things. Maybe we can't find the killer, but I think we can find the thing that links all four murders. This is an opportunity. We have one shift to show Grissom what we're made of. Tonight we could be heroes.
All right, all right. I'm in.
Hodges
It's time to think outside the box.
[Archie is about to sit on Grissom's chair]
Hodges
Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah...
Hodges
What are you doing?
Hodges
No no, you're tempting fate! You know how you should never try on someone else's engagement ring, hold the Oscar, use the excuse your grandmother died when she didn't?
You know, I kind of feel bad for these girls.
Hodges
Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. Women get regular check-ups. Industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.
[momentarily speechless] ... Okay.
WSWendy Simms
I don't have huge breasts. Mine are kind of ... medium.
David Hodges
But perfect ...
(Wendy turns and glares at Hodges.)
Hodges
--ly adequate. Better, in fact.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation · 1,147 quotes
