Warrick Brown quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Hodges

Hey, I heard about court today. Must have been embarrassing, huh?

Warrick

Hodges, why'd you leave L.A. Again? Never mind, it's probably none of my business.

Catherine

Hey you!

Warrick

Hey.

Catherine

How're you holding up?

Warrick

I'm fine.

Catherine

You sure?

Warrick

Yeah.

Catherine

You're in the women's bathroom.

Warrick

What do you think, Grissom? Been down here at least 3 years? (Grissom sniffs, around it)

Grissom

It's probably more than 3 years.

Brass

You're kiddin' me, right?

Grissom

Rule of thumb is if the skull smells bad it's usually under 3 years. But this one smells like dirt.

Nick

The lead story by editor and chief Sabrina Abernathy, entitled: "Varsity Hazing Ritual". Now listen to this: "The question is not whether the so called student athletes should be expelled, but whether or not they should be arrested."

Warrick

Why, what'd they do?

Nick

Apparently something with several hookers and alot of testosterone.

Greg

Whatever happened to toliet paper and trees?

Catherine

So, it's gone from intentional to accidental to personal. Who have we got?

Warrick

Nick's girlfriend (Nick laughs)

Warrick

You know, Sam ... that word that you wrote on the floor ... you know, that's a really bad word.

I hear it all the time. My grandma says it. (strikes a match and puts it out in the mug.) My mom says it. (strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) And my sister says it. (strikes another match.) Well... she used to say it. (blows the match out and watches the smoke rise up from the burned match. He drops it into the mug)

Warrick

This is, like, a two- $300 la Perla Nightie, ripped to shreds.

Sara

Oh, looks comfortable.

Warrick

It's not designed to stay on that long.

Warrick

They used to tell me back in the day that if you were caught cheating you'd get a couple whacks on the hand with a ball peen hammer.

Doc Robbins

Ow.

Warrick

Second time you got caught you'd lose a limb.

Doc Robbins

Third time?

Warrick

A long walk in the desert with a shovel.

Electrocution. That's a quick way to go.

Warrick

Not always.

Chandra Moore

Warrick, right?

Warrick

Yeah.

Chandra Moore

I saw your presentation on longitudinal striations of the toenail in Dallas, A.A.F.S.? Really good work.

Warrick

Thank you. Thank you so much. And you are?

Chandra Moore

Oh, I'm Chandra. Chandra Moore. I'm the new DNA person.

Greg

Well, that's the plan anyway.

Warrick

Alright then, lets head upstream.

Catherine

I knew you were going to say that.

Catherine

Did I ever tell you the city paid me a dollar a square foot to rip out my lawn and replace it with rocks? Because we were in a drought.

Warrick

Are you kiddin' me?

Catherine

No.

Warrick

This city was not made for rain.

Greg

Just hedging my bets.

Warrick

How so?

Greg

Well, I need field experience, but before I get that, I need to find a replacement. So far, I'm oh-for-one. Plus, she's hot and thinks you're a tool, so I'm way ahead.

Greg

Mia Dickerson, Warrick Brown.

Warrick

Welcome.

Mia

Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA?

Nick

Rusty. They say I have a flinch.

Warrick

You and I need to go practice some, huh?

Nick

Yeah, when do we have time to do that? If we're not processing a scene or working evidence, we're in court.

Warrick

Well, when they take your piece, you'll make time.