Warrick Brown quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara

[sees two pill bottles] Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam.

Warrick

Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small.

Sara

I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells.

Warrick

Griss, this place is crawling with press. They want a statement.

Grissom

Not now.

Warrick

Well, if you don't say anything, they're just going to fill in the blanks...

Grissom

Screw the press, 'cause for all I know, the dead body is an auto mechanic who just painted his house blue.

Brass

Detective Jim Brass.

Warrick

Congratulations Jim Brass, you are guaranteed one of these five amazing awards!

Brass

Warrick?

Warrick

A trip to London, a brand new Caddy, tennis bracelet, plasma TV, water purification system, you finally did it Jim, just send NZA a cheque for $300 and claim your prize.

L.A. over 200 criminalists and you gotta bring your own guy in?

Brass

Well, Rick is like a vampire, he needs to be invited in.

If this goes to court, Warrick's going to have to come back and testify.

Warrick

Well, you got beaches, bikinis. Free trip to L.A. ? I'm down.

Warrick

I was a dork... I still am a dork. But I had dimples. I got a little action.

Catherine

I don't doubt that.

Nick

Are you baggin' Z's right now, man?

Hodges

I was just having the greatest dream.

Warrick

You were out.

Hodges

It was the 80's and I had this Don Johnson beard, you know, the Miami Vice stubble. It just gave me this air of danger. My lady loved it.

Nick

I thought Greg was in the field, is he back in the lab?

Warrick

I don't know.

Nick

We gotta clear this up, it's like he's confused. Lab, field, field, lab. We have a lab on wheels.

Greg

Would you guys just shut up? I'm doing this as a favor to Ecklie, it's a one time thing. He's still interviewing lab techs.

Warrick

Are you making overtime?

Greg

I'm taking one for the team.

Sara

Do you ever want to be a cop?

Warrick

Every time I get a speeding ticket, yeah.

Warrick

What's a 4-5-0?

That would be sex with a dead body.

Warrick

Who brings a gun to a knife fight?

Grissom

The winner?

Sara

Do you have any physical evidence that would conclusively rule Hannah out as a suspect?

Nick

Well... yeah. She's 4"3 and 65 pounds. The crime just required more strength than she's got.

Catherine

How old is she?

Nick

12.

Warrick

In high school?

Nick

She's a high school senior. She skipped 6 grades. She's a prodigy.

Sara

Which means that she has the brains for murder.

Nick

Yeah, playin' football, chasin' girls, books when I wanted to learn somethin', what's not to like?

Warrick

Hey, guys.

Nick

Hey.

Warrick

This is Darcy, my wife Tina's niece.

Sara

Hey, Darcy. [Darcy kinda waves]

Nick

Yeah, you were right she's about Hannah's size.

Warrick

More or less.

Stop talkin' about me. [Warrick pulls an earbud out of her ear] Hey, that was the best part!

Warrick

That's what the pause button is for. It's time to work, it's child labor day.

Greg

Hey.

Warrick

Greg, what are you doing here?

Greg

Oh, Grissom said you're backing me up, can't back me up if I'm not here.

Warrick

The next time you screw me up with Grissom, I'm going to back you up right off a cliff.

Grissom

I got you a veggie burger.

Sara

Thanks.

Warrick

: What about me?

Grissom

I didn't know you were here. Soy, sorry. (Sara smirks)

Warrick

Where's the love?

Nick

I am sick of these punks, man. I'm serious, I'm sick of it.

Warrick

Then you're in the wrong town.

Nick

Maybe.