Greg Sanders quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Catherine

Tell me something.

Greg

I think my eyes need band-aids.

Grissom

(to Greg after a shooting at the crime scene) You okay?

Greg

No, I'm not okay! Who the hell's shooting at us?

Grissom

I don't know, but I think our single just turned into a triple.

Greg

So, are you going to say, "the game's afoot"?

Grissom

I didn't know you were a Conan Doyle fan, Greg.

Greg

I'm not. I saw a Sherlock Homes movie once by mistake.

Grissom

Well just so you know, those movies never ended like this.

Sara

Wow. Look at you, Mr. straightedge. I did not know that your hair could do that.

Greg

I look like a dork.

Sara

No, no, no. You look like a pro, which is what you are.

Greg

I don't mean to pry, but do you want to talk about what happened between you and Ecklie?

Sara

Not really.

Greg

I don't know if you noticed about me, but I'm a good listener.

Sara

I blew up at Ecklie, it was very unprofessional, and very satisfying, and now we're moving on. Thanks for asking.

Greg

Brass subpoenaed Eiger's home phone calls in the last year.

Yeah, anything interesting?

Greg

Numerous calls from Eiger's house to Sy Magli's office.

Well, they were known business rivals.

Greg

Between midnight and 4 a.m., what I like to call: "Love Hours".

Grissom

Wouldn't be the first time that hate mutated into passion.

Greg

Public enemies, private lovers. So Jackie Collins.

Grissom

Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do you do?

Greg

Is that a trick question?

Sara

Stop, jump out, run over to him.

Grissom

Or, take the time to pull into the garage and park and lock your car.

Greg

That means she slept with a dead guy. She's not only a killer she's a necrophiliac. That's what I call enjoying your work.

Sara

She's trashed. Maybe she passed out.

Greg

How drunk do you have to be to sleep next to a decomposing body? The smell alone is an alarm clock.

Sara

Not next to him, on top of him.

Detective Vartann

Hogs and Heffers convention. Maurice wasn't fat, what was he doing here?

Grissom

Maybe he used to be.

Greg

Or maybe he was a chubby chaser. (Grissom gives him a surprised look). Some men like curves.

Detective Vartann

There's curves, and there's rolls.

Sofia

What's the problem?

Greg

Nothing. I'm fine.

Sofia

You're not.

Greg

I feel like a wuss. Grissom told me I should take a break, and I did.

Sofia

Your burn victim.

Greg

[nods] How do you get an image like that out of your mind?

Sofia

You go home. You, uh... hug your cat, your dog, your pillow. You have a beer, you watch a movie, and then you come back tomorrow.

Greg

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Sofia

Rumor has it you used to be a pretty funny guy. Don't lose that.

Greg

Sara, I just want you to know when we were in the shower, I didn't see anything.

Sara

Really? Gosh, I saw everything.

Greg

Hey Grissom, when you went to college did you live in the dorms?

Grissom

Surely, you jest.

Grissom

Yeah, but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.

Greg

So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?

Grissom

I guess it depends on what you learn.

Sara

Music, alcohol, candles. Kid was a regular Romeo.

Grissom

For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Greg

Condom wrapper. (Sara looks at him)

Grissom

So much for safe sex.

Sara

Trophy condoms?

Greg

When a stud scores, he hangs his condom on his neighbor's doorknob.

Nick

I thought Greg was in the field, is he back in the lab?

Warrick

I don't know.

Nick

We gotta clear this up, it's like he's confused. Lab, field, field, lab. We have a lab on wheels.

Greg

Would you guys just shut up? I'm doing this as a favor to Ecklie, it's a one time thing. He's still interviewing lab techs.

Warrick

Are you making overtime?

Greg

I'm taking one for the team.