Sara Sidle quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick

You know, when I was 16, I begged my mom for a car. Swore she'd come through.

Sara

What happened?

Nick

Encyclopedia Britannica. (laughs) All 24 volumes. Still own them, still use them.

Sara

Hey Nick, have you ever been to a swingers party?

Nick

Well, if it's the same thing as a frat party yeah, lots of them. You know, you get enough booze going things can get pretty wild.

Sara

Frat party, huh? Well, I wouldn't know anything about that...How wild?

Nick

Multiple partner wild.

Grissom

Tom Haviland's attorneys are not waiving time.

Nick

Are you serious?

Sara

They're actually exercising their right to a speedy trial?

Gil

No requests for continuances, no stall tactics. They're pushing for their day in court.

Warrick

Good defense attorney always does the last thing you expect.

Catherine

Yeah. What typically drags on for months has now been put on the fast track and the prelim is less than 72 hours.

Greg

I'm only done processing half the evidence.

Catherine

You're going to have to call in help, because if the judge thinks that our evidence isn't strong enough to go to trial, he's going to dismiss the charges on Tom.

Sara

Can't the D.A. drop the charges and we'll refile when we get our evidence together?

Catherine

Sure, but the odds are that Tom will relocate to Europe and pull a Polanski.

Greg

And what's a Polanski?

Grissom

Get-out-of-jail-free card. One more thing: Westcott just added a forensic scientist to their roster. She wants him to examine every piece of evidence we have against Haviland.

Nick

As soon as it's processed they'll get a copy of our report.

Gil

They're entitled to see it as it's processed.

Nick

I've never done a case where the defendant took advantage of that rule of discovery.

Gil

Well, when you can't attack the evidence itself, you attack the method of gathering the evidence.

Sara

So who's their guy?

Grissom

Dr. Phillip Gerard.

Sara

Phillip Gerard? Your mentor is their forensic scientist?

Grissom

Yeah. Marjorie Westcott's a smart lawyer.

Sara

There was another guy in that room. That's, that's great. The defense has us moving so fast we can't make sense of our own evidence.

Grissom

That's what they want.

[to Sara] You date... you and Hank. You share a subtle communication. Did he move the bra to where you might have wanted it?

Sara

I didn't want it anywhere. I collect evidence without emotion.

You do get emotionally involved, though with the men on your cases. Hank Peddigrew isn't the first time.

Sara

Excuse me?

A murder investigation at the residence of one Charles Renteria. Eyewitness stated he saw you and your supervisor Gil Grissom standing alone outside and you were touching him in a romantic gesture.

Sara

I brushed chalk from his face.

Is that what they're calling it now?

Objection, your honor.

Sara

Drywall dust. We were looking for a body.

It's a fair question, your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss, Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not?

Sara

Is this some kind of convention?

Grissom

Little People Convention. Every year they come from all over the world to a designated city. Socialize, network. It's their Prom, Olympics, and New Year's Eve all rolled into one. (As they walk, a man in a wheelchair nearly runs into Nick)

Nick

Oh, hey. Excuse me.

Don't think so, square jaw. (Grissom and Sara continue along the ballroom unaware of Nick's close encounter)

Sara

Grissom, how do you know this?

Grissom

I get the newsletter.

Does he ever talk?

Sara

Yeah. At, uh, random intervals.

Grissom

I was admiring your reaching tool.

I have one I use to wipe my tush with. Would you like to take a look at that, too?

Grissom

There's a theory in art that the Mona Lisa was really a feminized version of Leonardo Da Vinci himself.

Sara

Concept suggests ... Deep down we're all narcissists?

Grissom

Yeah. What attracts us the most is ourselves.

Catherine

You killed her.

Sara

I guess she killed you back.

Sara

(a phone book get thrown into the hallway as Sara goes by and she jumps back) Why are you throwing phone books?

Warrick

'Cause a beaker gets glass all over the place.

Sara

(sweetly) What's wrong?

Warrick

It's this curtain that the porn girl was found wrapped in. I've got no prints, no second donor. I've got nothing to link this porn guy to the girl's murder. It's just driving me nuts.

Sara

(sarcastically) I'm fine.

Warrick

(realises he almost hit her) I'm sorry. Are you okay?

Sara

(smiles) Yeah. (puts her hand on his shoulder) You missed me by a mile. We may have something.

Warrick

Really?

Sara

Right here. I wanted to show you. When he's stabbing her, she's bleeding all over him.

Warrick

Well, a void proves that, but we still can't prove it's him.

Sara

Yeah, but her blood might. Catherine and I suspect transference. She had HIV.

Warrick

Well, how are we going to get a sample of Sampson's blood?

Sara

Warrant, based on the butterscotch dirt that you found on his car.

Warrick

[has a lightbulb moment] Oh, I like that.

Sara

[smiles] You might want to apologize to the phonebook.

Sara

You know you pulled me away from a forensic anthropology seminar, right? It's required. It's part of the continuing education program.

Grissom

Well, I'm sorry, but everyone seems to have something to do today. I have a teenager who was run over by a taxi. He wasn't hit by it; that's not what killed him. He was stabbed, fatally. For now, I have no ID, no suspects and no primary crime scene. I need you.

Sara

She's a virgin?! So what are we talking here immaculate conception?

Catherine

More like the immaculate perception. Pseudocyesis: imagined pregnancy.

Sara

It's all in her head? Well, that would explain what she was doing in Dad's bed.

Catherine

Fantasizing.

Nick

Yeah, well that's tourist trash.

Sara

Thirteen million pounds per day. I went to the recycling forum in March.

Catherine

The landfill manager says this is the active cell. Spotter says cell lift moves forward 20 feet a day. That puts the active cell right ... pretty much in front of us.

Nick

Man! You find the best evidence in the nastiest places.

Catherine

You are what you throw away.

Sara

It's like peeling an onion in peoples' lives.

Catherine

Well, this onion is our time line so peel back accordingly.

Sara

Cans are on private property, it's not trash day, how did you get consent?

Catherine

I talked to the president of the owner's association.

Nick

What'd you threaten her with?

Catherine

A return visit.

Hang on a second. [smiling] You get approval from Grissom, I don't want him walking in on me.

Sara

[nodding] Yeah.

Sara Sidle.

Sara

[smiling] Yeah, I did!

All right. Just checking!