Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick

Time for a toast. You know, bowling is a family sport. I'd like to raise a glass to our CSI family. Cheers. [They all drink] But unfortunately, it's time to give the family a little ass-whoppin'. [They all laugh]

Hodges

Oh, really?!

Catherine

All of us?

Ray

Be careful, Nick, don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash.

Ooh!

Greg

Guy stands in the middle of a 3-way shootout and strolls out alive?

Nick

Was he just lucky, or bulletproof?

Nick Stokes

You know, Ray, for somebody who doesn't like golf, you certainly seem to know an awful lot about it.

Ray Langston

It's not that I don't like golf. It's just that you have to focus your mind, practically every fiber of your being on a small white ball that you wanna hit just the right way, and then when you hit it, the feeling is exhilarating. And so you chase the small white ball all day, so that you can hit it exactly the same way. You chase that feeling. Kinda like cocaine. Not exactly the best hobby for an obsessive personality.

Nick Stokes

Yeah, people like that are better suited for a job in criminalistics, huh?

Sara

It's Cindy Warner's phone.

Nick

They say the only way to get a teenage girl away from her cell phone is to pry it from her cold dead hand.

Sara

Well, whoever they are, let's hope they're wrong.

Catherine

When you're young, you think you're immortal and when you get older you just want to remember how that felt. Driving crazy fast on open road...

Nick

We're not getting that old, are we?

Doc Robbins

Put down the saw! Step away from the guitar. You were about to commit murder on an immaculate '62 Fender jazz bass with the original factory paint.

Nick

So, what?

Doc Robbins

For someone from the Great State of Texas, you show very little respect for a true American art form.

Nick

Hey, just 'cause I'm from Texas doesn't mean I like country music.

Catherine

I know, just make sure no one enters the casino with vests, radios or uniforms. We can't have any mistakes.

Nick

Copy that. How's the stakeout going?

Catherine

Well, so far it's like watching bad porn.

Ray

Can you tell us what you did after you had been ejected for the second time?

I hooked up with another buyer. Paid him to buy up Brenda's whole table. He dropped off the merchandise around 11... and I blissed out in my room for the rest of the night.

Nick

Holed up in your hotel room with a bunch of women's panties is not an alibi.

If you'd ever tried it, you'd know it was.

Sara

I'll be back to give you a lift home?

Nick

Oh, no way. You're a terrible driver.

Catherine

After losing Warrick, I thought, if I just worked hard enough, if I focused completely on the cases that I wouldn't have to think about his death. There isn't enough work in the world. I realized that I couldn't do my job without talking to somebody.

Nick

I never knew that about you.

Catherine

Well, I'm good at hiding things. Like you.

Nick

So that's Earnest Boozell, huh? The "Booze"?

Catherine

Biggest shark in Vegas.

Sara

Did you know that a 12-letter word for across the woods is Transylvania?

Nick

[sarcastically] Grissom? Is that you, Grissom?

Catherine

You and Margot have something in common.

Nick

Yeah, what's that?

Catherine

A stalker.

Nick

That was a long time ago.

Nick

How could someone live like this?

Sara

Well, it smells more like somebody died like this.

Nick

You know, I almost threw out something Grissom gave me. Ah, yeah. Blue marble.

Sara

Oh.

Nick

You know what he said when he gave that to me?

Sara

Something profound, I'm sure.

Nick

He said, "Nicky, if life ever gets crazy..."

Sara

"...roll with it." He gave me the same marble. [both laugh] You should hold onto that.