Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick

What is the code for suspicious ooze?

Ray

6-6-6. Well, at least the primordial variety, the stuff of creation, Heaven and Hell.

Nick

Since when do you worry about identity theft?

Greg

Every aspect of our life has been reduced to binary code, Nick. All we are is zeroes and ones. Easy pickings.

Nick

I think I'm gonna grab a beer... or ten. You wanna join me?

Catherine

I don't think so.

Nick

[grins] You sure? We could talk about our feelings.

Can I help you, officers?

Nick

You sure can, big man. I gotta take a look at your trucks.

Why?

Nick

[handing him the warrant] Because that piece of paper says so.

Greg

And I quote: "She is not merely dead, she is most sincerely dead."

Nick

I beg to differ, Dorothy.

Greg

If you knew your Wizard of Oz, you'd know that it was the Munckhin coroner that pronounced her dead, not the girl with the dog.

Nick

How you doing?

Catherine

I'm still in one piece.

Nick

Well, you should probably get checked out anyway.

Catherine

That's usually my line.

Nick

[laughs] Hey, you're always taking care of me. How about I take care of you for a change?

Catherine

Okay. Thanks, Nicky.

Nick

Albert... What you did today was incredible. It was like being part of a miracle or something.

Robbins

It felt good helping the living for a change.

Nick

You're a good man.

Catherine

There are no more under-the-table deals, no more going rogue, no more personal vendettas, no more L.A.

Nick

Now, what does this have to do with L.A.? I wouldn't change anything about what I did there.

Catherine

I would! I'm not in charge anymore, because this is our problem. We lead with our hearts instead of our heads and then we justify it after the fact.

Nick

Why you so pissed off?

Catherine

I got demoted, Nick! I got demoted!

Nick

Well, if you ask me, they're all primo. And hey, look at the bright side, you get to work with me.

Morgan

That's the bright side?

Nick

(laughs) Oh...

D.B.

What color is the horse? (nobody answers) Really? No, it's a famous story. A traffic accident near a ranch, right? Several cars and a horse are involved. The horse is severely injured and the officer at the scene wants to put him out of his misery with his .357. Unfortunately, the bullet ricochets off the horse's skull and hits an officer standing nearby. Kills him dead as a doornail. And when this is all reported to the chief, the only question he asks, "What color's the horse?" There were seasoned investigators all over that scene for hours, taking notes, gathering evidence, but nobody noted the color of the horse.

Nick

If you miss one small detail, then who knows what else you've missed. 'Cause you never know what's important.

D.B.

Cool story, huh?

Hodges

That is a good story.

Nick

(about the beetles) It's amazing. They picked it clean in less than an hour.

Greg

Yeah, they eat even faster than you.

Catherine

I tendered my resignation. For real this time. You are all family which is why this is the hardest decision I've ever made. I mean, how could I leave this place? How could I leave all of you? But not only are you in great hands, but you are a rock-solid, bad-ass team of criminalists and don't ever forget it.

Nick

We all just love you, Catherine. And, you know, even though you're leaving, you'll always be here with us, always.

Archie

Oh, man, I am so sick of looking for this face.

Nick

Well, look at the bright side.

Archie

Oh, we still know who we're looking for. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, man, I am tired of that joke and I am getting really tired here.

Nick

Live fast, die young.

David

Not me. The wife's pushing for a minivan. Bugging me about safety ratings and car seat compatibility.

Nick

So, do you have some news to share?

David

No, no, it's still hypothetical. But hypothetically, I don't want my kid's first impression of his dad to be some minivan-driving geek.

Nick

What are you worried about? Your kid's still gonna think you're the coolest guy on the planet. That is till Uncle Nicky comes over and picks him up in a GT500.

David

Thanks, man.

Nick

You're welcome.