Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Nick

Take a couple of high school kids, put 'em in a fast car, add a few beers and a driver with a lead foot. Throw in an unexpected obstacle and the rules of physics and what you get is a very abrupt end to a party on wheels.

You just described my whole senior year, which admittedly ended better than theirs.

Catherine

Nicky, for God's sake, are you trying to break your arm?

Nick

Don't sweat it, I tried it on the dummy first. Didn't break his arm, it's not gonna break mine.

Hodges

It became clear during our experiments that it would take something far more massive than an aluminum mailbox to generate the force necessary to cause the fracture in the victims arm.

Nick

We're thinking telephone pole, sign post, I'm gonna go back to the crime scene and check it out.

Catherine

Then why are you guys still in here smashing mailboxes?

Hodges

Because it's fun. My turn!

Nick

I think he might have got whacked in the head with a wet-floor sign.

Robbins

So much for safety in the workplace.

But I told her forensics is just science, you know? It's what you go to school for and... But you don't look like my chem teacher.

Nick

Thanks, I think.

Greg

You do know, uh, crime scene's in the next room? I always look for the yellow tape.

Ray

I need side-arm clearance and I've got to take a look at the tactical manual again, these codes are very, very confusing.

Nick

Ah, the most important signal's a code 4.

Ray

Situation secure. Code 4.

Greg

Second most important: 4-82.

Ray

I know this, 4-82 is... What is it?

Greg

Lunch!

Ray

so all you had was an eyewitness who was a half a mile away, testimony from Jeremy Ken't ex-cellmate and a single fingerprint from a rock?

Catherine

Back then it was enough.

Got it figured out? Legal just put this on my desk. [Hands Catherine an envelope.]

Catherine

I've been subpoenaed by Jeremy Kent. He's requesting a pre-trial conference.

Nick

Yeah, he probably wants to talk to you about how he got life based on a rock.

Ray

According to the SMD's, Wilkes traveled 3.2 miles from his last engine stop. Now, how do you drive that far, that wasted and still stay on the road?

Nick

Individual tolerances vary, just ask Keith Richards.

Ray

Yeah. [reads the letter] They cleared me.

Nick

Good. Kill or be killed, Ray. It's a terrible situation to be in, man, don't let it bother 'ya.

Ray

It hasn't been bothering me. And that's what's been bothering me.

Ray Langston

What's the angriest you've ever been?

Nick Stokes

I've been mad enough to kill somebody. Didn't do it. What about you?

Ray Langston

High threshold. Short fuse.

David Phillips

Me, too. In high school, I vented my frustrations by devising elaborate tortures for my classmates. In comic book form, of course.

Nick Stokes

Well, whether the killer woke up this morning intending to beat this guy to death or not, right now, he's a new man with a new plan. And a big, fat secret.

Ray Langston

Secrets are hard to keep.

Catherine

Finn took action in the line of duty. Johnson was trying to help a kid at risk.

Nick

So where's the bad guy in this?

Ray

You tell me.

Doc Robbins

Coach was struck at least a dozen times.

Nick

A lot of rage here.

Doc Robbins

Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into the brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place.

Nick

Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me.

Doc Robbins

It's what I do.

Doc Robbins

C'mon, you're not gonna ask me about the zombie thing?

Nick

Well, you're obviously eager to tell me.

Doc Robbins

Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding to death.

Nick

They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.

And don't be surprised if Mr. Baker never admits he was raped. Odds are, you'll probably close the case on lack of co-operation and then make fun of him around the office. Have a nice day, Mr. Stokes.

Nick

Hey, what is your problem? I'm just trying to do my job here.

I've watched you guys stand over dead bodies and crack jokes. I still see a human being when all you see is evidence. Which, might make you a good investigator, but it also makes you cold, hard, people.

Nick

So you can feel compassion for dead people? But you can't feel it for someone who's alive, wearing a badge, tryin' to help! Good luck with that. Enjoy your sandwich.

Nick

So, you catch a guy burglarizing your store. You wanna teach him a lesson, I get it. You beat him, you stab him, you shoot him. But do you have to rape him?

Ray

Greek warriors in ancient times would sodomize their enemies after a battle, to humiliate them, take their manhood...

Nick

Yeah, yeah. I understand the concept of humiliation: rape isn't about sex, it's about violence. But this is a little excessive, don't you think?

Ray

Well... for some men... violence is their sex.

Hodges

If you're gonna have me keep doing Archie's job, I'm gonna need a raise.

Nick

Lemme know what Ecklie says to that.

Hodges

I was hoping you'd ask. You're a supervisor.

Nick

Yeah, well, it's good to hope for things.