Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom

Sun Tzu once said "“If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by." [opens the door to find a mummified body] But those were brutal times.

Grissom

Maybe rape is just foreplay for this guy. Maybe what he really gets off on is killing.

Grissom

(to Greg while looking at a gun) What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip? (Greg doesn't answer) It's okay to say you don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab.

Grissom

Hey, the rich are just as deviant as the poor.

Grissom

Well, it's always good to know what you don't know.

Grissom

Catherine, do you need a minute?

Grissom

[about Lady Heather] This makes no sense. She's very strong, and tough as nails. Why didn't she fight?

Grissom

(looks up to see blood dripping from the ceiling) Looks like this crime has a second story.

Grissom

[at Warrick's funeral] As crime scene investigators, we meet people on the worst day of their lives. They've just lost a family member, somebody they loved, often in a horrible way. A piece of their heart is gone, and will never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them, "I'm sorry for your loss", as we know now, doesn't offer much. Warrick Brown was a young boy when his parents passed away. Much too young to learn that life can be so tragically short. But I think that it taught him how precious life is, and so he lived his life to the fullest, each day as if it was his last day. I was with Warrick on his last day. All the qualities that defined him, his tenaciousness, his deep sense of loyalty, his courage to risk his life for what he knew was right, all those traits were with him on that last day. Just before he died, we were all having breakfast together. Our team. His friends. His family. And Warrick was... he was ... (sobs) I'm going to miss him so much.

Grissom

Morning. Gil Grissom, forensics. I'm taking over the case for Warrick Brown. Mind if I come in?

[sighs] How can I help you?

Grissom

I need to give you a pedicure.

Come again?

Grissom

If latex rubber and cooking spray went on a blind date, how would the night end?

A lot better than ours did.

Grissom

I know, Pink Floyd's not your thing.

I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think "Dark Side of the Moon" synched to the Wizard of Oz is going to warm my damn barn?

Grissom

I just thought it'd be something different.

You want to be different? Pin me up against a wall; lay one on me like you mean it.

You're slacking, pal.

Grissom

How long till we get a hit?

It could be four minutes, could be four days but you can bet your ass she'll give you something. She always does.

Grissom

"Pin you against a wall?"

Grissom

I need you to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood

What for?

Grissom

It's customary for all new hires.

Why?

Grissom

So many reasons...

Warrick

Where'd you get the blood?

Grissom

The new girl. Want to donate?

Warrick

Hell no.

Nick

How do you know all this crap?

Grissom

It's our job to know stuff.

Grissom

Yes, yes, Norman pushed. Norman jumped. Norman fell.

Sara

Wouldn't you, if you were married to Mrs. Roper?

Grissom

I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle.

Sara

That's me. Still tossin' simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know.

Grissom

No thanks. I'm a scientist. I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple. I drop dummies.

Sara

You're old school.

Grissom

Exactly. And this guy was pushed.

Sara

How's the girl?

Grissom

She's still in surgery. She's not doing very well.

Sara

That's too bad.

Grissom

God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys.

Sara

There's only one why that matters now, why did Warrick Brown leave the scene?

Grissom

[Laughing] Jacks or better. You're under arrest.

Oh, yeah? What for?

Grissom

First-degree murder.

Oh. On what grounds?

Grissom

[Looking at suspect's boots] Roof dust.