Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Excuse me. Is my evaluation interrupting you?

Grissom

No, I barely heard you.

S1 E3 Crate 'n Burial

View quote →

Hey Grissom! Would you come tape me up?

Grissom

I love my work.

It shows.

S1 E3 Crate 'n Burial

View quote →

Hey Grissom (holds up a roll of tape) Could you come tape me up? (walks back into the garage)

Grissom

(looks to where Sara has walked out) I love my work!

(looks at Grissom oddly) It shows! (walks away from Grissom as he follows Sara into the garage)

Grissom

(is crouched in front of Sara carefully taping her hands whilst they share intimate smiles) So, you found Laura’s hairs here? Passenger seat, front of the car?

Right, not in the back which made me ask: What kind of a kidnapper puts a bound and unconscious woman in the front seat of his car? The back of my arm isn’t touching the sheepskin but there was sheepskin fibres on the back of Laura’s sleeve which tells us that she sat back like a normal person. “Cut me Mick” (Grissom cuts the tape and even more carefully pulls it from her wrists) Like this. (she shows him)

Grissom

So she wasn’t bound at all?

Correct, but that made me ask the question: What kind of kidnapper puts an unconscious woman in the front seat of the car even unbound? Answer’s usually in the question…you taught me that! So was she unconscious? We found Halothane on the patio. Halothane knocks you out…if you take it!

Grissom

So you’re saying that she never inhaled the Halothane?

Proof would be in her blood. Halothane stays in the system up to 48 hours.

Grissom

How lucky am I that I got a sample of her blood?

Oh…

Grissom

So you can go to lab and check that out.

Dammit! I wanted to carry the ball over the line!

Grissom

(blushes slightly) I know!

S1 E3 Crate 'n Burial

View quote →

[After finding out the drowned woman had fried calamari before she died]

Now tell me, why are we here?

Grissom

'Cuz it's the only place within ten miles of Calville Bay that serves calamari.

And you know this because...?

Grissom

I come here for calamari.

Oh. Alone?

Grissom

No. Sometimes I have a beer with it.

View quote →

No. No way, use your own hand.

Grissom

Come on, Catherine, my hand's too big.

No!

Grissom

It's the only way we can print her. Her skin on your hand should fit like a leather glove.

Grissom

May I take your hand?

View quote →

Grissom

You just compromised our investigation.

He deserved to know the truth.

Grissom

Knowing how she died, yes. Knowing that she had an affair -- how does that bring closure?

I guess you just have to be on the wrong end of an affair to understand.

Grissom

You can't make this about Eddie. Look, you hurt our case because your ex hurt you.

We bring ourselves to our cases. We can't help it. I knew how Barger felt. Would you just relax? I didn't give him chapter and verse.

Grissom

You can't give him anything, Catherine. We're scientists. We're not psychiatrists or victims' rights advocates.

You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo watching discovery on the big screen working genius- level crossword puzzles, but no relationships. No chance any will slop over into a case. Right. I want to be just like you.

Grissom

Technically, it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right. I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.

Grissom ... what personal stuff?

View quote →

Grissom

Look ... could we have a truce?

I would love to.

Grissom

Good.

Grissom

But let me do all the talking to the husband and the boyfriend.

He had to say it.

View quote →

Grissom

Teenage wasteland! (Referencing The Who's hit song, "Baba O'Riley")

Who?

Grissom

Yeah!

S1 E5 Friends and Lovers

View quote →

(Nick and Grissom discover a skeleton in the wall of a house)

Ten bucks says the owner sells the house.

Grissom

By law you've got to disclose everything. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a skeleton.

S1 E6 Who Are You?

View quote →

So, how many grains of sand in the ocean, huh?

I don't care about the ocean, just the sand in my skeleton. Can you pinpoint a beach?

I don't know. I might have to do some field research to find out. You think Grissom would let me go to Hawaii? (Nick sees Grissom in the doorway)

(to Greg) Why don't you ask him yourself?

Grissom

Ask me what?

Oh, nothing. I, uh ... I was just telling Nick about your sand. Well, it's not sand. It's not natural anyway. Here, check this out. (Grissom looks through the mircoscope at the sand) Now, if this were natural sand, the surface would be smooth. This looks more like Fremont Street on a Saturday night... rough.

Could the particles be sediment from the concrete where we found her?

No. No way. I analyzed the mineral content. It's feldspar and quartz. That's crushed gray sandstone. It's man-made, in a rock crusher.

What does that mean?

Grissom

It means she wasn't killed in Hawaii. (Greg freezes when he realized Grissom heard him before) Other than that, he has no idea. (Nick laughs)

S1 E6 Who Are You?

View quote →

[Eddie, Catherine's ex is accused of rape]

Grissom

So, how's the thing going on Eddie Willows?

What thing?

Grissom

The thing that I told Catherine to pass off to you.

(realizes and tries to cover) Oh, good. Um... we just put some stuff through the lab.

Grissom

Get ahold of the DMV?

I was just about to.

Grissom

(slams the locker door shut as Catherine walks in) Warrick, why would you call the DMV for a rape case? (Warrick sighs at getting caught)

Okay. I didn't hand it off.

Grissom

Really?

Catherine: I'm sorry, Warrick.

If you want me to suave anyone, I got to know the shot.

I know. (Warrick goes to the other side of the room) I'm sorry. (Catherine walks over to Grissom, trying to explain) I'm doing this for Lindsey.

'Grissom: You so much as breathe on the evidence, it's contaminated and I end up the bad guy.

'Catherine: Eyes, no hands.

Grissom

What's the status?

Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.

Grissom

...Vigorous.

She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.

Thank you, Warrick. Eddie said that she was into it.

'Grissom: "He said. She said?" It's about the evidence, Catherine. (he goes to leave but turns back to look at her) And you may not like where it takes you. (leaves, Catherine stands there for a moment)

S1 E6 Who Are You?

View quote →

'Nick:(walks in) You brought the foundation of the house to our lab.

Grissom

It's a six-by-three-foot section. When the concrete dried it preserved a partial impression of our Jane Doe. Did you find out anything about the house?

I pulled the permits. Summercliff was built five years ago on nothing but desert.

Grissom

That would explain why the body was so desiccated.

House was sold subsequent to completion, so the homeowner isn't a suspect. Homicide is running a missing persons check.

Grissom

Well, if it wasn't for a leaky pipe she might have been down there forever.

I think our killer was counting on that.

(talking to Catherine about where she used to work as stripper)

S1 E6 Who Are You?

View quote →

What do you got for me? I could use a rush.

Grissom

Well, this qualifies: 4-26. But I can't give you the case.

Because?

Grissom

Conflict of interest. The alleged rape victim is an exotic dancer.

And because I used to be one, I'll be biased?

Grissom

No. The suspect's your ex-husband. (beat) He's asking for you, but you can't take it. (Catherine stands up and looks at Grissom)

Just let me do the pre-lim.

Grissom

All right. (he gives her the assignment sheet) Do what you can. But after the preliminary, you pass it off, okay? (Catherine doesn't say anything. She turns and leaves the room)

S1 E6 Who Are You?

View quote →

Grissom

Based on the auricular surface I'd say she died when she was about twenty.