Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara

[with a razor in her hand] Do you trust me?

Grissom

Intimately [she begins to shave off his beard]

Grissom

To me, sex without love is pointless. It makes you sad.

Sara

Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.

Grissom

No, you make me happy.

Grissom

Do you believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?

Sara

I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet.

Grissom

I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, list stores they shop in.

Nick

[looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why you built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?

Grissom

My God. She was at the crime scene.

Nick

So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?

Warrick

I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?

Catherine

I don't know. This just feels different.

Grissom

It is different. [flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm] This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me [everyone looks confused]

Grissom

Hi Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but... I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, I've worked over 2,000 homicides, and you are by far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about you every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what you do. I built my own miniature.

Grissom

You saw it? How'd I do?

Grissom

Do you play chess?

Grissom

I play. As hobby. Quiets my mind, you know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed by it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd love to play you sometime. I'm so impressed by the way you embrace your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. You studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where you knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way you killed Sara.

[shaking her head] I didn't kill her.

Grissom

You didn't?

This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.

Grissom

No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.

It's always about her.

Oh sad was the day for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the seat of the terrible ache. T'was a delicate task...

Grissom

[not cut, for it was all in her imagination] Natalie listen to me. Tell me where she is.

For none of the doctor's had ever before...

Grissom

Natalie.

...performed on a dolly's inside...

Grissom

Please tell me where Sara is.

...They tried to re-stuff her, but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died...

Grissom

[yelling] Stop it! Just stop this!

Grissom

Tell me where Sara is!

...I've got a pain in my sawdust. That's what's the matter with me.

Something is wrong with my little inside. I'm just as sick as can be. Don't let me faint, someone get mr a fan.

Someone please run for the medicine man. Everyone hurry as fast as you can, 'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust.

Grissom

Where is she, Catherine? It's 110 degrees, she's been out here all day, without water, she's disorientated, she's... dehydrated...

Catherine

She's a survivor.

You've been dodging me, it's time to talk. Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less than I do, but since you didn't handle this right, I have to take a formal statement. [Grissom (^^) stares at him] It should have been a conversation between friends. I mean, we could find someway around this. Catherine could have done Sara's evaluations. Why didn't you just tell me?

Grissom

We didn't want you to know.

Don't most women like the world to know they are dating someone?

Grissom

Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?

[php] Okay... so when did you two... you know...

Grissom

Nine years ago.

You know what? You two need to get your stories straight.

Grissom

When did you tell Ecklie we got involved?

Sara

Two years ago. Why, what did you tell him?

Grissom

Nine years ago.

Grissom

Yeah. You, uh, had too many questions about anthropology for some reason.

Sara

Well, I was stalling. I was trying to get the nerve to ask you to dinner.

Grissom

You had a ponytail.

Sara

I'm gonna move to swing.

Grissom

We talked about this.

Sara

I know that you said you would do it but I don't wanna do that to the team. Besides, I am sure that I could use more daylight in my life.[long pause] We should go.

Grissom

Yeah.

Mr. Grissom...do you believe in a separate, living evil?

Grissom

You're a primitive man on the Savannah. You see something move out of the corner of your eye. You assume it's a hyena. You run, you live. If you assume it's the wind and you're wrong, you die. We have the genes of the ones who ran. We're genetically hard-wired to believe living forces that we cannot see.

The Devil's sliest trick is making us believe he isn't real. But call his name loud and long enough, [knocks on the table four times] guess who comes knockin' on your door?

Brass

Usually guys like you.

Grissom

Oh, I love it when you dress up.

Sara

Well, you know whatever it takes to get some time with you. How's the study going? Any sign of colony-collapse disorder?

Grissom

Nope, so far, it's healthy.

Sara

Nothing too healthy about smoking.

Grissom

Well, the scent confuses the guard bees, they won't emit the pheromone that tells the colony there's an intruder.

Sara

Oh, don't worry, he's harmless. Who's who?

Grissom

These are the workers, infertile females.

Sara

They don't sting?

Grissom

Well, not unless you swat one, close one up in your hand or freak out. Go ahead, take off your glove.

Sara

All right, I trust you.

Grissom

See, it's cool. The worker bees defend the hive, procure the pollen, make the honey, nurture the larvae and pupae in each of these group cells...you know, maybe we should get married.

Sara

Ouch.

Grissom

Sorry. Don't pick it out, makes it worse, releases the venom into the blood stream. It's better to scrape it. So, er, what do you think, you know, about-

Sara

-Yes. Let's do it.

Grissom

Yeah.

Grissom

I'll call in some additional AV techs to help Archie get through the footage, but you know, I've learned that sometimes you can go faster by going slow.

Yeah, well I like to go faster by going fast. Waiting around isn't really my best thing.

Grissom

I've gathered that from your interrogation technique. You know, maybe you should go back to your hotel and take a nap.

[looks around] Is this your office? Really? I mean, by choice? It's not some kind of, uh, surplus overflow issue?

Grissom

What's wrong with my office?

Oh, I don't know. Uh, [Looks at pig in jar] why don't you tell me. [Puts on glasses for a closer look]

Grissom

That's an irradiated fetal pig. I used it to determine the effects of radiation on tissue.

For what?

Grissom

For fun.

Nick

[about Marlon West] He confessed. It was later thrown out on a technicality. We really didn't need it. The prosecution's case against Marlon was very strong.

Sara

Until Marlon's little sister Hannah got on the stand and confessed to the murder herself.

Catherine

Oh, yes, I remember this case. A high school senior at age 12.

Sara

She's a prodigy.

Nick

She's a pint-size Machiavelli. She manipulated events, fabricated evidence, and in the end...

Sara

She claimed that she did it because she loved Marlon. Some warped sense of justice. She graduated later that summer, became legally emancipated from her parents and went off to Harvard, pre-med.

Grissom

You keeping tabs on her?

Sara

Not recently. Look, accident or no accident, Marlon killed before. Hannah sunk this case, Marlon got a free pass, and now he's killed again.

Catherine

Well, we don't know that just yet. I mean, we don't have Marlon's DNA to compare with the semen that was found in the victim. All the old evidence was expunged with the verdict.

Sara

I want this case.

Grissom

The one that got away?

Sara

We're not supposed to let them get away, right?

Sara

I don't think Kira punched Marlon. I think Hannah picked up the tooth from a fight that Marlon had earlier in the evening. And I think she planted it on Kira. [Grissom is silent as he thinks about it] That's crazy.

Grissom

It's possible.

Sara

This kid is spinning me in circles, again.

Grissom

You know, Sara, some cases, some suspects, can get under your skin. Like this tooth. But you can't let 'em make you feel bad.

Grissom

(After Hodges imagines Brass shooting Bobby Dawson six times) What do you got against Bobby Dawson?

Hodges

Nothing.