[Watching Abed's student films, which are based on the study group.]
TTroy
This is wrinkling my brain...
This is wrinkling my brain...
TTroy
That's wrinkling my brain!
TTroy
I liked you better when you were smoking.
I'm so sorry.
TTroy
No, you're right. My feet are long and stupid. You can't unring that bell.
Mr. Winger!
[Jeff sees the Dean, Annie, and Whitman, and tried to go the other way. They chase him down]
Mr. Winger, did you happen to hear my announcement?
I hang on every word.
I'm going to assume that's sarcasm.
Correct.
So you didn't hear my announcement?
I'm barely listening now.
[yelling at Jeff, who's walking away] Listen, jerk wad! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that got really heated. Greendale needs a win. The best compliment our sports program gets is that our basketball team is really gay.
How was hypnotherapy?
He fell down and screamed in pain while I laid there with my eyes closed to make him feel like a good hypnotherapist.
[After watching Abed's short films, which seem to predict everything that's going to happen with the group]
TTroy
Where's Abed? I need to talk to him about his films.
That boy is flat out prescient! He can read our minds!
[Abed walks in and everyone stares at him]
I know what you're going to say. You watched my movies on the website.
He's a witch!
TTroy
Get him!
TTroy
[watching the character based on him in Abed's films] Why am I crying? Did I accidentally listen to "Come Sail Away" by Styx again?
Little trick for acheiving the proper competitive mindset: I always envision the opponent having aggressive sex with my mother.
By Zeus! What kind of jackassery is this?
Maybe Simmons was right. You really are all sizzle and no steak. You probably couldn't beat him if you tried.
What do you mean I can't beat him? You and I are going to study harder than we've ever studied before and beat City College tomorrow!
[excited] Really?
No! Who am I, iCarly?
[Shirley slaps away the paper that Abed is reading]
That's my newspaper.
[hysterical] What do you need a paper for? You knew what was going to happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic eight ball! Pierce hurt his leg, Britta made Troy cry, what's my destiny? Am I going to die in a car? Is it going to happen soon?
Wow, this is a real barn burner! Oh god, did I say cross burner?
No, you did not!
Oh, good.
Ugh!
What's wrong?
I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.
I hate it!
Well get used to it! You're knee-deep in it now, brother. This is debate!
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