Father quotes from Codename: Kids Next Door

[seeing Sector V breaking into the mansion] Ah. Our guests have arrived. Go forth and supervise the battle, my delightful children. I wish to give Sector V the benefit of my full attention.

Hey, you, stop right there! So you thought you could sneak pass me, eh? Well, I want your stupid catering vehicle out of my parking spot, pronto. Oh, is that key lime pie?

NIGEL UNO! I AM DONE PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU, BOY! GIVE ME BACK MY PIPE THIS---!!! [Enters the launch site, only to find everything and everyone gone] No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The scene pans up to where the spaceship flies into space and out of sight]

Bravo, Mr. Uno. You managed to skillfully outwit a bunch of... children. Question is, do you have what it takes to play with the BIG BOYS?!

Yeah, yeah, nice fireworks. I'll see YOU in preschool! [aims the age cigar at Father but he smacks it out of his hand]

We won't be needing toys now, will we, Mr. Uno? [puts a fire cage around the age cigar and laughs evilly] So, shall we proceed?

Bring it on!

With pleasure. I should have destroyed you and your impertinent friends a long time ago! I was certain my children could take care of such a minor annoyance, but they are a disappointment.

That must run in the family.

I have retrieved the information required. Numbuh 5 will awaken tomorrow without realizing her brain's been probed.

You have done well, my apprentice.

Thank you, Father.

[on the phone] Hello, my children. I have an assignment for you. So listen carefully. One of those meddlesome Kids Next Door shall be visiting her homeland. Once there, she plans to rendezvous with the secretive Japanese Kids Next Door. Your mission is to track the operative until she leads us to the Japanese Kids Next Door headquarters, then send their coordinates to my formidable ninja army. Contact the ninja only when you are certain you've located the Kids Next Door lair. Ninja charge by the hour, and I'm not made of money. You got that? I have handpicked you because you are my most skilled agents, my most foolproof villains, my most relentless trackers, and above all, my most devious masters of disguise.

Rest assured, Father. The Interesting Twins…

…From Beneath The Mountain…

[in unison] …Are twice as good as you require. Failure is an impossibility.

Yes. Once I possess the code module, my glorious plan can commence. [to one of his Ice Cream Henchmen] Well? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! OPEN THAT DOOR!

Uhhh...it's locked.

[sarcastically] Oh, really? Guess we'll just have to pack up and go... [erupts into flames and getting outraged at his henchman for pointing out the obvious] OF COURSE IT'S LOCKED! [the water from the melted ice fall on top of him] JUST GO! [The henchman runs off crying] AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT A CHRISTMAS BONUS, PAL! If you want something done right... [activates his pyrokinesis and shoots fire at the vault door, while laughing evily]

Well, well, well. What have we here? The runts of the litter?!

I'd watch yourself, if I were you. This place is crawling with Kids Next Door operatives, specifically trained to kick your butt!

[sarcastically] Oooh, I'd be really scared if any operatives were here! [morphs his head into Numbuh 86] Oh, help! Kids Next Door Arctic base! Father is here and he's so evil! [reverts his head to normal while laughing evilly]

I'm so very glad you could visit me today, because I want to show you something that will change your lives forever! [plays a few keys in the organ]

Numbuh 1

Kids Next Door, activate your birthday suits, full protective power. Tough luck, Father. Our 2x4 technology makes us immune to any kind of ray-based aging effect.

Yes!

I'm impressed, or rather I would be if I had wanted to change your ages!

"If?" If this thing doesn't change ages, then what in the heck are- [her birthday suit breaks and her hand turns into a hoof, and fully transforms into a gazelle]

Um, Numbuh 1?… This Doesn’t Looks So Good- [Transforms Into A Koala]

That'll be $6.95, sir. Oh, say, would you like to join our preferred villains' club today, where you can save up to 15% on every purchase? Preferred villains' club... where crime really does pay.

Hmm... I'm intrigued. Can you explain to me the benefits of membership?

KNIGHTBRACE!!! You're gonna share those Rainbow Munchies with me, aren't you?!

[laughs] Do you know what this stuff does to your teeth and gums? I'm not going to eat them. I'm going to destroy them! [cackles evilly]

What?!

Count Spankulot

What?!

Mr. Boss

What?!

Huh?!

What?!

Que?!

What?!

[whining] My back!

What?!

Numbuh 1

[clears throat] Desperate times call for desperate measures. Truce?

[shakes hands with him] Until breakfast is finished.

Numbuh 1

Agreed.

That kid doesn't get out much does he?

He's from the 19th century.

The 19th century? Get out of here.

It's true. He's like, never seen cars and stuff. Go on. Ask him something.

[Calling to Numbuh 19th Century] Hey, 19th century kid?! You want to watch a cartoon, on the television?

What are cartoons? And what is this thing called...tel-e-vision?

Hey, what do you think you're doing?! Nobody except for my delightful children is allowed to eat this cake!

You. Big.

JERK! Now you've made me angry! VERY! VERY!! VERY---!!!

[after Sector V rescue Numbuh 1; enraged] Kids Next Door! They stole my award!

Mr. Boss

Your award?! I was gonna win that award!

Stickybeard

Ye've got carmael on the brain if ye thinks anyone would vote for you!

Oh, here come the villains! Common Cold looks simply runny today. Oh, there's the Toiletnator, wearing a flu-mucus tuxedo. Oh, Father, over here! Are there any hard feelings between you and Stickybeard?

Let me tell you... Next time I see Stickybeard, he better run to his candy closet, 'cause I'm not sugarcoating the hurting he's gonna get!

Here comes Stickybeard, now!

[scared] Oh, boy!

Stickybeard

Stickybeard heard every word you said, you char-brained galley rat!

I'll only be in Saratoga Springs for the day. My doctor says I need to get some fresh air and take a break from making kids' lives miserable. Now, I know I can trust my Delightful Children things neat and tidy while I'm gone, RIGHT?! [bursts into flames]

Of course, Father.

Good. I left some money on the counter for pizza, and don't forget to feed the cat! [leaves the mansion]

Yes, Father.