Father quotes from Codename: Kids Next Door

Wow, Numbuh 1! Numbuh 363 was totally right! We never have got the cake back in one piece!

[Angrily] We did once!

Really? I don't remember! Hmm, let's see. There was the time we blew it up by accident, and oh, we sent it to the wood chipper that other time- Oh, oh! And remember when the birdies peed on it? [Laughs] Remember that one, Numbuh 1?

Numbuh 1

[Losing control of his rage] YES! THANK YOU FOR THE MEMORIES! Now if you don't mind, I'd like to talk about anything except... Cake?

Numbuh 1

[Enraged] YOU! Kids Next Door, battle sta- [Gets trapped by Father's flames along with Numbuhs 2, 3, 4, and 5]

[Enraged] No, no, no! CUT! You Kids Next Door are not in my script! [groans in frustration] But, on the other hand, you might just be what this picture needs!

Numbuh 1

[To Father] Father! What are you doing in our tree house?!

Just indulging my more artistic side by producing- the mega-blockbuster movie of the century!

And we're the stars! It's called, "Let us eat cake", and once it's complete, jealous kids worldwide will get to see us enjoying our delicious birthday cake on the big screen! And what better backdrop for us to savor it in than your stupid tree house?!?!?!

[As the Delightful Children laugh evilly] Oh, man! It ain't gonna be one of those chick flicks, is it?!

[Gets in Numbuh 4's face, enraged] ENOUGH! [To DCFDTL] We must film before the muse escapes me! Alright, my stars, in this scene, you will unveil the cake! I want to feel the passion between you and its scrum-dilly-yumminess: The electricity, the LOVE! [To his working crew] Quiet on the set! Places! AND....Action!

[Acting in a love scene] At last, we are alone, my love. I have yearned too long to taste your frosty icing. [The scene cuts to Sector V struggling in the fiery hands] Come to me, my tasty- [the DCFDTL pulls off the sheet, revealing Numbuh 74.239 with a beach umbrella and a table with a fruit drink, making them all scream in shock]

[Smirking] Hello.

Numbuh 1

[In surprise] NUMBUH 74.239?! What are YOU doing here?!

[Enraged] Cut, CUT, CUUUT! [Bursts into flames] YOU ARE RUINING MY SCENE!

[Points to Numbuh 74.239, angrily] AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CAKE?!?!?!

Oh, we took it, but I assure you, it is quite safe. [slurps his fruit drink] Mmmmm!

[enraged] HOW DARE YOU?! GIVE IT BACK THIS INSTANT!

Numbuh 1

What are you doing here? Father is way out of your lead!

Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me! And if you think I'm letting you get to Father's pipe before I do, you're crazy!

We're not here for the pipe, kid!

Yeah, we're here to rescue your big, dumb squirrel teeth!

I don't need rescuing! Especially from a couple of hasbeens like you old farts!

Come here, you! [tries to attack Numbuh 363, but his team holds him back]

Look, why don't we all just get out of here before Father hears us?

Whose side are you on, Sonya?!

Everyone's! We're all supposed to be on the same team!

Fine! Go, then! I'll do this alone.

Numbuh 1

[Grabs Numbuh 363's shoulder] You've got a lot to learn about teamwork, 363.

[fired up] Don't... TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!

[wakes up, in shock] Huh? What? WHAT?! Hey, who's there?!

Months later, when I became Supreme Commander of the KND, I had to order Numbuh 363's decommissioning! Not because he got too old, but because of his "freaking out!" whenever someone touched him!

In light-man's parliaments, he went 200% bananas. Reminds me of a fellow student botching a liver biopsy in my second year at med school at Harvard.

So, what happened next?

[wakes up after snoring] Well, suffice it to say, Father was not happy finding us in his house. [returns to the past]

[furiously] I AM NOT HAPPY FINDING YOU IN MY HOUSE!