Numbuh 1 quotes from Codename: Kids Next Door

MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE!

Numbuh 1

Hey! Keep it down, Numbuh 5! I am trying to get some sleep here!

Hello, Kids Next Door. We're here to finally strike your posteriors with our feet.

You're here to what?!

Kick your butts!

Bravo, Mr. Uno. You managed to skillfully outwit a bunch of... children. Question is, do you have what it takes to play with the BIG BOYS?!

Yeah, yeah, nice fireworks. I'll see YOU in preschool! [aims the age cigar at Father but he smacks it out of his hand]

We won't be needing toys now, will we, Mr. Uno? [puts a fire cage around the age cigar and laughs evilly] So, shall we proceed?

Bring it on!

With pleasure. I should have destroyed you and your impertinent friends a long time ago! I was certain my children could take care of such a minor annoyance, but they are a disappointment.

That must run in the family.

Oh man, this is depressing!

Yeah, it'll take forever to fix.

Numbuh 1

It's OK Numbuh 2, we're not growing up for a long long time. So let's get to work guys!

Ehh, Numbuh 3... Uh, thanks for saving me and all.

[laughs and grabs Numbuh 4 into a hug] It's okay.

[Talking to himself, then says in a goofy voice] I. L-l-love. Y-y-you.

[waiting the entire episode for him to say those exact words] AHHHH! Say it again!

Don't press your luck.

Man, look at him! We’ve got to get rid of that fool!

Then you wake him and you tell him to leave!

Nuh-uh, I’m not gonna wake him, you wake him!

Oh and get spanked because he's cranky in the morning, forget it!

Count Spankulot

I arrive, like a shadow in the night, the hunter who preys upon wrong-doers. I deliver my punishments swiftly, and without regrets. My victims beg for mercy and offer to make deals. They try to run, but there is nowhere to run, and there is nowhere to hide. For those I hunt, I have one thing; A GOOD SPANKING!

He Took My Brain!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! He Took His Brain!

Aaliyah! The Rest Of The Guests Are Is-

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!

He Took His Brain!

YOU! You... you... you..!

Count Spankulot

[stammering] Judge!

How dare you come in to my house and spank me and my wife!

Ooh, I can't feel my bottom.

Numbuh 1

We’ve searched everywhere. Where on Earth could they be?

Um, I think I found them.

Numbuh 1

Move over! Wow. Well, don't just stand there, Numbuh 2, take one out!

What? I'm not going to touch them, you do it.

Numbuh 1

As first in command, I order you to pick up that bra!

You first!

Numbuh 1

Oh, okay. Don't be such a baby! [He picks one up]

Numbuh 1

[shocked] Ah, this is Battle Ready Armor? It hardly covers anything.

Maybe once you put it on, it produces some sort of protection shield.

Numbuh 1

Of course, and now that we have their technology, we can use it against them! Just imagine the look on the adult's faces when they find out that the Kids Next Door are wearing bras too!

Um, we don't even know how to use these um... things!

Numbuh 1

Well, it's obvious you put your head through– Wait. No, that's not it. You, you put your right leg through. No that's not it.

Numbuh 1

So, do you feel anything?

Numbuh 1

I don’t know. I feel kind of powerful!

AAH! ARE YOU CRAZY??!

Numbuh 1

What’s the matter, teenager? Afraid we’ll put your bras to better use?

[stares at Numbuh 1 with a gaping mouth for a minute] Listen, you little freak, take it off! NOW!

Numbuh 1

Make us! Right, Numbuh 2?

I said take them off!

Numbuh 1

Battle Ready Armor, on! [nothing happens] Uh, Battle Ready Armor, go! [still nothing] Ba-Battle Ready- [Cree grabs him] Ah!

[spinning him around violently] Take them off, now! [throws Numbuh 1 across the room]

Numbuh 1

Ugh! [dresser falls on him] Ow!

I am not playing with you fools!

Numbuh 1

[trying to get out from under dresser] Battle Ready Armor, activate! [Cree grabs him] Numbuh 2! [she throws him] Ahhh! [comes out of sick drawer] Um, Battle Ready Armor...Help!

I said, take off my bra! [kicks drawer causing Numbuh 1 to get his head stuck in the ceiling]

Numbuh 1

[he falls, screaming, then lands on bed, breaking it, then sits up, groaning] Numbuh 2, I could really use some...[Cree grabs him and throws him] Whoa!

[She barges in] What's up with all the racket?

I caught your two little weirdo friends trying on my bras!

[gives an annoyed look to Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 2] What are you two doing wearing my sister's bras?!

Numbuh 1

But, Numbuh 5, you don't understand! [falls off dresser] "Bra" stands for "Battle Ready Armor". It's a weapon!

Are you crazy?! A bra is for... ugh, well... girls use it with a strap, and ugh... Look, just go back to the tree house and let me get some sleep!

Numbuh 1

But what about you? What if enemy operatives try to suck your brain-

GET OUT!

[irritated] I can't believe we sat through that junk!

I thought it was wonderful. I can't wait till the second part of the double feature starts!

I'd rather have my arms ripped off and jammed into my ears than sit through all that crud!

Aww, it wasn't that bad, Numbuh 4. I thought it was pretty faithful to the book.

The next one's about to start. Might as well get in there.

Ugh! I'll see you babies later! I'm gonna go check out a real movie!

[gasps in shock] Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb? Knightbrace. Count Spankulot. The Great Putinsky. Mega Mom and Destructo Dad. R-rated movies are really supervillain meeting places?

[excitedly] Isn't this the coolest?

[nervously] Uh, yeah. Real cool.

Numbuh 1

[sarcastically] Go ahead. Put on sunblock! Let's soak up some rays. Oh, hey! I've got an idea! Let's completely forget about investigating this stupid crash and go frolicking in the ocean instead. Ooh! Maybe afterwards we can go and get some yummy funnel cakes and pizza on the boardwalk!

WHAT?! Funnel cakes and pizzas?!

Numbuh 1

N-n-no, 86, n-n-no, no sir - uh, I mean ma'am, sir. I... I mean, I... I... I thought...

Thinking is what you boys never do! You're just like my idiot brother, always goofing off!

I'll stop him myself! [enters the S.C.A.M.P.E.R.] If you want to get anything done you've to do it-- [suddenly realizes she doesn't know how to pilot the ship herself; shouting] Will someone get in here and fly this piece of junk?!

Turbines to speed!

Generators at max!

Weapons on!

Shields on!

Numbuh 1

Okay, troops! Let's—

Quit wasting time and go!

[to Sector V's boys] Of all the stupid things in this stupid world of stupid people acting stupid, you boys are the stupidliest! It's like you're trying to win a STUPID contest when you're too stupid to take a stupidity test! Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 3, we'll track Numbuh 206 on foot.

Numbuh 1

Hey! What about us?!

Why don't you three try guarding that dandelion there, if you think you can handle it.

Why do we have to keep listening to what she says, anyway?

Numbuh 1

She's head of decommissioning. She OUTRANKS us.

So what? We're just as good as SHE is.

Numbuh 1

You know what? You're right! Come on!