Numbuh 1 quotes from Codename: Kids Next Door

Numbuh 1

T-that's okay, Numbuh 3. We'll get you some new toys.

Toys? I don't want toys. [fired up with fury] I WANT REVENGE!!!

What's the big deal? Nobody got hurt.

[grabs Numbuh 4 by his jacket in rage] Say that again, squirt, and then we'll see if nobody's hurt!

Ain't nothing gonna happen, 'cause I ain't afraid.

Numbuh 1

[Puts his hand on Numbuh 4's shoulder] Hey, Numbuh-

Numbuh 1

[Covered in cheese] Go cover the rear, Numbuh 4.

Nigel's got a girlfriend!

Numbuh 1

I do not!

Nigel and Lizzie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

[Approaches the table with the cheque] Pardon moi, monsieur, your cheque. [Puts down the cheque on the table]

Numbuh 1

[Picks up the cheque and looks at it. He loses control of his rage] WHAT?! HOW CAN YOU CHARGE THAT MUCH FOR A LOUSY STEAK?! [Slams his head on the table and screams in rage] IT'S– IT'S– IT'S– IT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY!

Uh-oh. [As she ducks below the table, the helmet goes haywire and explodes.]

Numbuh 1

Owww. [Lizzie comes up from under the table] Don't ever use one of those things on me again, Lizzie.

What are you gonna do now?

Numbuh 1

Um- wanna get some ice cream?

Sure.

I like pistachio ice cream.

Numbuh 1

Really? So do I.

You're neat, Nigel Uno.

Numbuh 1

[Cheerfully] I'm Numbuh 1. [Hesitant] Let's have some fun?

[Cheerfully] I'm Numbuh 2. [Hesitant] We've got some cool things to do?

[Enthusiastically] I'm Numbuh 3. Will you play with me?

[Slowly losing control of his rage] I'm Numbuh 4, and- [Finally loses control of his rage] I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Did you bring Bradley's bottle, Numbuh 2?

I thought you were gonna bring it.

Oh, so now I have to do everything?

Are you saying I don't do my fair share?

Oh, just drop it, will you Numbuh 2?!

Ugh, I get no respect, what with everything I do; [mocking Numbuh 3] “"Do this, Numbuh 2. Get that, Bradley needs his little blanky," [normal voice] ugh one of these days....[getting back on the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.] there is that everything?

Well I don't know, is it?

Numbuh 1

CAN WE GET A MOVE ON?!

Now look what you did!

Oh, nice job, Numbuh 1!

How Are You Doing, Guys?

Numbuh 1

Stupid.

Neutral.

[Smirking] Amazin'! Numbuh 2 Is Like A VERY Hungry Green Hornworm On Your Pancreas N' Spleen!

Someday, I Will Be A Beautiful Butterfly!

Darn Right!

Numbuh 1

Bradley Is SUCH A STUPID DUMBASS SKUNK!!!!!

Nigel Paddington Uno!

[Together] We Are Very Disappointed In You!

No, We're Mad At You!

EXACTLY! We're Mad At Ya!

Numbuh 1

[Angrily] Numbuh 2! Get out of that chair. I'm driving! Because you are completely useless with THAT STUPID SKUNK AROUND!

Take that back about Bradley being stupid! You hurt his feelings!

Numbuh 1

Hello. IT'S A SKUNK! It doesn't have feelings!

Numbuh 1

Numbuh 2, take the right flank. Numbuh 5, fall back. [Numbuh 274 walks in front of Numbuh 1] Numbuh… 274?

For the last time, save yourselves and out get out of here! [they dodge Mega-Mom’s “Time-Out” laser beam]

Numbuh 1

Okay, okay! I guess we can’t fight a bad mother like that here. Kids next door, retreat!

So if there's a Mega Mom, then why isn't there a dad?

[shocked] Oh...I totally forgot about him.

[suddenly bursts in] Hi, guys! How 'bout some quality time with Destructo Dad?!

I knew it! [gets stupefied]

Numbuh 1

Kids Next Door, battle stations!

You kids aren't going anywhere, because Destructo Dad says you're grounded! [stupefys Numbuh 1] "You're grounded!" I love that line! [Numbuh 274 kicks him down] Now, now, you were raised better! [grabs him by the ankle and drops him in a can] That'll learn ya.

Mega Mom

[blasts a hole in the treehouse] Sorry I'm late, dear!

Honey!

Mega Mom

Oh, the traffic over here was crazy! And then… Oh, look what I've found! BRATS! [stupefys Numbuh 4]

Mega Mom

[chasing after Numbuh 5 as she tries to escape her] Just where do you think you're going, young lady? [gasps] Oh, my!

[aiming her S.C.A.M.P.P.s at Mega Mom] Bring it on, old lady!

Mega Mom

Now, that's no way to… [gets blasted down multiple times and stupefys Numbuh 5, leaving only her head] Tsk, tsk, tsk. You kids today.

Pianos? Type-P torture devices are pianos?

You don't know what it's like! They make play the same song over and over again! ♪ Tink-ta-tink ga ga ga-ga ga ga-ga ga-ga ♪ [groans] It's… It's… It's horrible!

Mmm, mmm, mmm. [plays some notes on a piano]

I'm serious! My mum ordered one of these monstrosities... For me. [starts sobbing]

Numbuh 1

He's right. These things are a menace to children everywhere. So let's get started. Numbuh 3, signal Numbuh 2 to begin Operation Lift and Shade.

Okey-dokey!

Numbuh 1

Okay, Kids Next Door. Simple question: what did we learn today?

Do not deviate from plans.

Teamwork is the key to mission success.

Operational procedures are important.

[in a full-body cast and in a wheelchair] Pianos...are heavy.

Numbuh 1

Oh, close enough.

Numbuh 1

[Upon finding they cannot escape the cage, starts calmly] I suggest we... [suddenly breaks down] PANIC!

WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?! [Everyone stop] I can’t think straight between your screaming and their stupid record player!

Thank you very much... Kids Next Door.

Numbuh 1

You are... Welcome?

Now if you don't mind, we'll be leaving.

Why, I ought to…

Numbuh 1

Easy, Numbuh 4. We'll take care of them later. We've gotta free all the other kids in this zoo. So let's roll!

[runs to the door as it bangs] I'll get it! [answers the door, revealing Laura Limpin]

[cheerfully] Hi! I'm selling Skunky Scout candy for to raise money for troop 177…

[thoughtlessly] No thanks! [immediately shuts the door on her face]

Tell me that's not Laura Limpin… [Laura roars in anger and transforms into the Big Badolescent from outside] AKA, the Big Badolescent.

YOU… BUY… SKUNKY SCOUT CANDY, NOW!