Numbuh 1 quotes from Codename: Kids Next Door

[off-screen, furious] I told you not to touch that!

[off-screen] Well, sorry! Geez, you guys are touchier than Sector N.

I couldn't save the Monkey Lisa!

Aww, don't worry. Numbuh Five'll just make another one.

Numbuh 1

Well, at least the mission wasn't a total failure.

What are you talking about? It was a disaster.

Numbuh 1

Notice anyone missing?

[looked at Negative Numbuh 3's eyes and knew who she was.] Wait a minute. YOU'RE not Kuki! You're some kind of NEGA-VERSION of Numbuh 3!

I thought you said he was the stupid one.

They can tell who you are in this world by looking at your eyes.

It's CALLED being a friend!

Let me get this straight. You want me to betray my buddies so I could work for YOU? [punches Negative Numbuh Three] You MUST be from another world!

[cowering] You can't talk that to Negative Numbuh 3 like that! [Holding his gun and trying to shoot or bluff him] I mean it!

[Grabbing his hand with the gun he's holding] Well, what are you waiting for, princess?! [The screen straightens and narrows to his eyes] Let's dance. [Outside the treehouse, the scene shakes as he beats up the negative counterparts with all them screaming in pain]

[In grief] If Negative Numbuh 4 rules the other world, he'll be unstoppable.

All the more reason to stop him now.

Heinrich, what happened to you?! You've become a monster!

[sarcastically, as if flattered] Oh, you noticed. Well, it's all your fault! [sepia-tone flashback to the events of "Operation: R.A.B.B.I.T."] Because you showed up at the jungle's chocolate volcano and insisted on thwarting mein glorious plan to make chocolate bunnies from real bunnies, I fell into the choco-lava and fused with it. When I finally crawled out, I was forever changed. All the beautiful things became chocolate-y at my touch. It was like ein dream come true! [laughs maniacally] I actually thanked you for what happened to me! But many weeks later, I was taken over with a more powerful desire than I had ever encountered before—I desperately wanted to have ein cheeseburger! But when I went to take a bite—CHOCOLATE! It was the same with everything—french fries, soda pop, schnakenwurst, mayonnaise! [end of flashback] Everything became chocolate! [sobs] Oh, Abigail, I'm just ein hollow shell of ein boy.

Heiny.

Abigail, not content vith mere victory, I see?, You haff come here to rubbing mein face, Haffn't you?

I just thought, I'd bring you a little bit of something, Give me a call when you're less bitter and little more sweet. See around, Mr. Von Marzipan.

Mine, mine, cheeseburger! Oh, bless you, Abigail Lincoln, bless you! Oh sehr gut! Ach Ja, pickles! Ach du liebe! How I hate ze pickles!

Nigie, what are you doing in your locker? It's lunchtime.

Numbuh 1

[Stands up and dusts himself] I don't have time for eating, Lizzie. I've got to run, like, eight-thousand more tests on my new-

[Touches Numbuh 1's chest with her index finger] Oh, no, you don't! You promised me we'd eat lunch together today. Besides- [Picks up her lunchbox and holds it up] I spent all morning making us the perfect, romantic lunch.

Numbuh 1

[Touched] Aw, gee, Lizzie-

[Angrily touches Numbuh 1's chest with her index finger] SO MOVE IT, YOU! [heads off, with Numbuh 1 following behind]

Numbuh 1

But, Lizzie, eating is a waste of my valuable time. There's all sorts of adult tyranny to fight. I need to be alert at all time.

[Stops walking] You work through lunch every day, Nigel. But today, I'm gonna make you sit down and enjoy a love-filled work-free lunch with me… [Screams] IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! [Resumes walking]

Numbuh 1

[Sticks his pinky in his ear] Sheesh!

That'll be $6.95, sir. Oh, say, would you like to join our preferred villains' club today, where you can save up to 15% on every purchase? Preferred villains' club... where crime really does pay.

Hmm... I'm intrigued. Can you explain to me the benefits of membership?

KNIGHTBRACE!!! You're gonna share those Rainbow Munchies with me, aren't you?!

[laughs] Do you know what this stuff does to your teeth and gums? I'm not going to eat them. I'm going to destroy them! [cackles evilly]

What?!

Count Spankulot

What?!

Mr. Boss

What?!

Huh?!

What?!

Que?!

What?!

[whining] My back!

What?!

Numbuh 1

[clears throat] Desperate times call for desperate measures. Truce?

[shakes hands with him] Until breakfast is finished.

Numbuh 1

Agreed.

[off-screen] Nigel! Time to get up for school!

Numbuh 1

[gets out of bed; groaning] Okay, Mom! I'll be down in just a…

Woah. Who was that guy?

Numbuh 1

A comrade.

And maybe I will learn what it really means... to love.

Ughhh! Get these guys to the Arctic Prison before I get totally sick! [Numbuh 44 leaves with captives; mocks imitation voice] 'Maybe I'll learn to love', ooh 'I love you'... PLEH! [Numbuh 3 looks sad] You will never catch me acting like that... [Numbuh 4 faces Numbuh 3 with his eyes closed. She starts getting mad] ...not with anyone. [Opens his eyes. Numbuh 3 is shaking with anger]

Grrrrrrr [pushes Numbuh 4 down, then stomps off] ...ahhhh. ::

Ooh, your in trouble.

What? What did I say?

I... I... I give up.

Say again?

I give up. What's the point? My sister's a teen, the greatest Kid Next Door I ever knew is a teen, and I'll be a teen soon enough. I mean, just look at me. I'm practically a teen now! I can't keep fighting it. I just... I give up.

Oh, Abby, you have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that! Come give your big sister a hug! [The building explodes] You...you tricked me again!

No...I didn't-

Look out! The Kids Next Door are here!

Where?

NEVER give up.

I wasn't REALLY decomissioned. I'm not permitted to tell you everything, but a few of us have been selected to remain Kids Next Door AFTER our thirteenth birthday! We act as a super secret covert unit to infiltrate teenage and even ADULT facilities to gather information for the Kids Next Door Global command.

[surprised and inspired] Wow...

But you can't tell anyone. Not even those in your sector, got it? [Numbuh 5 nods.] Good. Who knows? Maybe they'll recruit you on your thirteenth birthday. Now, get out of here, Abby. I got to finish this thing.

Good luck, Maurice. You're still the best there is.