Morgan Grimes quotes from Chuck

Morgan

Let's cut the man some slack, he's got the world's fate resting in his hands.

Casey

Oh, I'd say he's got something else resting in his hands.

Morgan

What do you mean?

Casey

Chuck's off the grid with Walker. Do the math Grimes.

Casey

He's going to need a walker when Walker's through with him.

Casey

They're having intercourse you idiot.

Morgan

If you ask me, this whole G man gig is starting to be a real snore. When are we going to hit on some terrorists?

Casey

Whatever you think you know about being a spy. You're wrong.

Morgan

Oww.

Casey

You're a child, your a liability to the team and you're not doing anything until you've been properly trained. Understood.

Morgan

Wait a minute, does that mean?

Casey

I don't believe I'm going to say this.

Morgan

I'm going to Langley.

Casey

Your not going anywhere. Jackass. I can teach you all you need to know right here in the store. C'mon.

Morgan

Please tell me that Chuck is joking about them sending me to boot camp. They're going to make me shave my beard.

Casey

Relax. You passed.

Morgan

Huh? I failed every test.

Casey

Yes flying colors. You have got to be the hands down, bar none the worst candidate I've ever trained. But you got one thing going for you. You got balls.

Morgan

I do?

Casey

How many marines do you know go up against a Bengal tiger unarmed? You have to be a complete idiot.

Morgan

Well that's the thing. That's uh, that's me in a nutshell..

Morgan

I talked to Captain Awesome.

Casey

And?

Morgan

If he'd have me, I'd let him.

Awesome

What are we going to do? We don't have a plan!

Morgan

No plan? Never stopped me before.

Morgan

I get it, I know. You promised her you weren't gonna be a spy, you know? So she clearly cannot know about our little rogue spy team that we're gonna start here outside of the government, secret to the spy world, team of two, army of one, highway to the danger zone, live free or die hard...

Chuck

Buddy?

Morgan

Yeah.

Chuck

This is not the opening of a TV show. This is real life.

Morgan

I just want you to know that I'm really sorry about the ring.

Big Mike

Marriage isn't about a ring. It's a lifelong commitment of compassion and understanding. Especially for your spouse's idiot relations. All is forgiven.

Chuck

[About Alex] Still haven't told Casey yet, huh?

Morgan

No.

Chuck

Well, be careful how you break the news to him. He might kill you accidentally.

Lester

Um, listen, we have a few questions regarding these Halloween decorations. Um, What are we allowed to show?

Morgan

What do you mean?

Jeff

I know a really good morgue that gives discounts on unclaimed merchandise. May-be we could sprickle some cold dead ones in here.

Morgan

Right, I'm gonna say no on the the dead bodies.

Jeff

So, what, I just lose my deposit?

Morgan

[to Sarah] We all know there is a heart of gold underneath this cold exterior... [he places his hand over her heart]

Sarah

Morgan, please don't touch my chest.

Morgan

You know, a couple's first fight actually sets the tone for all future arguments. Trust me, I'm going through it right now myself.

Chuck

You and Alex?

Morgan

No, me and Casey, actually.

Chuck

Buddy, I need your help on a super top secret mission.

Morgan

Do I get to parachute out of a plane on a wild horse?

Chuck

No, you do not. Because nobody... ever does. But you do get to wear an earpiece.

Morgan

Sold!

Sarah

How did you find me?

Morgan

Half of Thailand's talking about the giant blond she-male tearing through their town. Are you kidding me? But it's okay now, Casey and I are here.

Casey

Walker. What are you doing here? All alone. This place is nothing but scoundrels, assassins and warlords. The scum of the earth.

Arr Mr Casey. Your usual?

Chuck

[as Morgan brings him to pole dancing] Morgan, what sort of hand-to-hand combat did you sign us up for?

Morgan

Strip-kick. Yeah, it mixes the self-defense of krav maga with the intense core workout of pole dancing. I saw an infomercial on it.

Chuck

Forget it buddy, can't really do anything with Casey being well, Casey.

Morgan

Chuck! Bubuleh! Casey is your man-servant, let him man-serve you.