Chuck Bartowski quotes from Chuck

Mary

[Sarah and Mary have their guns pointed at each other] You brought someone. I told you to come alone.

Chuck

No, no,no, no. Technically not just someone, my girlfriend - Sarah. Sarah this is my mom - Mary. I don't know how to say this exactly, but please don't kill each other.

Casey

Chuck, how'd you get here?

Chuck

My mom dropped me off.

Sarah

[about Chuck's father] You know, you only just met him and he knows everything about us! How do you know you can trust him?

Chuck

Oh, oh! That's right. I totally forgot. You can't believe in anyone unless Beckman tells you to.

Sarah

Oh, that is not fair!

Morgan

You know, a couple's first fight actually sets the tone for all future arguments. Trust me, I'm going through it right now myself.

Chuck

You and Alex?

Morgan

No, me and Casey, actually.

Chuck

Listen, I was just waiting until I calmed down a little bit. Okay? It's our first real fight as a couple, and everyone knows that sets the tone for all future fights.

Sarah

Oh, you're going to set the precedent by telling everybody what you're thinking and feeling before me?

Chuck

See, that just makes it sound bad.

Chuck

Buddy, I need your help on a super top secret mission.

Morgan

Do I get to parachute out of a plane on a wild horse?

Chuck

No, you do not. Because nobody... ever does. But you do get to wear an earpiece.

Morgan

Sold!

Sarah

Any luck with the....

Chuck

Tests? You'd have heard. By that I mean you would have heard my giant sigh of relief. Even in Moscow.

Sarah

You'll get it back soon enough.

Casey

When? What's the timeline?

Chuck

I'm hoping very soon.

Casey

I haven't been on a mission in a month. I wake up with my trigger finger twitching. It's itchy. Literally it itches.

Well, I don't believe that the psychological rock can be hoisted off the Intersect by watching kittens play with yarn. My method is - physical, psychological, painful, brutal.

Chuck

Brutal? Can't wait to get started.

Chuck, if you're serious about restoring the Intersect, then I promise you, at the end of this process, you will be a spy again. What do you say? You with me?

Chuck

Let's get physical.

Chuck

Do you really think that Sarah is the emotional rock that is sitting on the Intersect?

Why do you always call for her right before you flash? You did it in the bedroom and in the vault.

Chuck

Yeah, well you know....

Scared! Perfectly normal for a Nerd Herder. But a spy, Chuck, handles his fear on his own.

Chuck

Or her own.

Ask yourself a question. Are you a spy? Or are you a guy with a spy girlfriend?

Chuck

I'm a spy!

Beckman

Bartowski and Rye, Capture the Belgium and recover the fake stones. Until we know whats really on those microdots this is code red and could likely to get very ugly.

Sarah

General, at this point I feel it is essential I go with Chuck and Agent Rye to Switzerland.

Chuck

I think Sarah should let us handle this seeing how we have determined this is the only way I will get the Intersect back working.

Sarah

Chuck. We are talking about real danger now.

Chuck

I'm sorry, I can only handle fake danger?

Sarah

I know the Intersect is important but so far none of Agent Rye's therapies have work. The microdot contains highly sensitive information that the wrong people will kill for.

Chuck

Well I can take care of these wrong people without you holding my hand.

Sarah

Why? It doesn't make sense to risk your life.

Chuck

Because this is what I do. I am a spy.

Sarah

No. Chuck you're not...... Not right now.

Chuck

[as Morgan brings him to pole dancing] Morgan, what sort of hand-to-hand combat did you sign us up for?

Morgan

Strip-kick. Yeah, it mixes the self-defense of krav maga with the intense core workout of pole dancing. I saw an infomercial on it.

Mary

Charles is my son.

Volkoff

[pointing a gun at Chuck's head] Really?

Mary

Really.

Volkoff

[to Sarah] Really?

Sarah

Really.

Volkoff

[to Chuck] Really?

Chuck

Really!

Mary

We've had a our dinner, you met the family, we're leaving.

Volkoff

But what sort of potential father-in-law would I be if I didn't set an example. Chuck has to learn... you make a threat you have to follow through with it. [Volkoff cocks pistol] I didn't have to do that but I just really like the sound.

Mary

Alexei stop. [points her gun at Volkoff]

Volkoff

My love, what are you doing?

Mary

This is exactly why I didn't tell you about my family. You don't know how to love someone, you only know how to control them. But you should know that I could never love a man that could do anything to hurt my son. So drop it. [Volkoff lowers gun]

Mary

Alexei, you know I am loyal to you. But I will not return with you until you promise me that my family and their friends remain safe. And if they don't, I will end you.

Volkoff

You see. That is a real threat.[Volkoff walks away]

Mary

Chuck. I'm sorry for everything. I hope some day you will trust me.

Chuck

Mom... I already do.

Chuck

Forget it buddy, can't really do anything with Casey being well, Casey.

Morgan

Chuck! Bubuleh! Casey is your man-servant, let him man-serve you.

Chuck

Sarah! Sarah. look I know you have to go...

Sarah

[she kisses him deeply and passionately] I missed you too Chuck.

Chuck

Wow. It's kind of like I'm cheating on you with you right now.

Sarah

Goodbye. Call me on the secure line with the plan.

Chuck

Got it. See you in prison!