Monty quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Monty

[When Canina and Zsa Zsa get into a fight] Ladies, please, break it up! All right. If you won't break it up, at least let me join the fun!

Monty

No offense, Gadget luv, but you're sure you're finished?

Sure I'm sure.

Monty

Not like the last time?

Gadget

Oh, Monty! How many times do you think the wings can fall off a plane?

Monty

I don't know. You tell me.

Monty

Ooo-rah-tourah-lay! What happened to all the cats?

Hey, dude! Don't look a gift cat in the mouth. They bugged out two nights ago and ain't been back since, man.

Dale

[shows the photo of Spunky] How about this itty-bitty cat?

Hey, cool your jets! You don't want to put a lamp on things by bringing back a cat. It's time to be a party animal!

Gadget

What is this place?

Monty

A nightmare!

Monty

Well, they're all out, and if I never see another cat again, it'll be too soon. [jumps when he sees Spunky behind him] I, uh... no offense, kid.

'Course not, Mr. Monterey.

I don't see why I have to wear a bow. [Gadget unties the bow] Do you think she'll remember me?

[opens the door and sees her beloved pet right on the doorstep] Spunky!

Meow! [jumps in the girl's hands]

Oh, you're home! You're home! Mamma! Daddy! Spunky's back! [closes the door]

Dale

Awwww...

Chip

Another case closed with a happy ending.

Gadget

And Monterey has learned that even cats have their place, haven't you, Monty?

Monty

Too right I have. A cat's place is as far from me as possible.

Dale

Hey, you fathead! I'm watching that!

Chip

Not anymore. Did you eat Monterey Jack's walnuts?

Dale

Uh... [shakes his head] Uh-uh.

Chip

Well, then who did?

Dale

It was space aliens. Big, ugly martians.

Monty

My cookies are fantastic, but I don't think they are intergalactic.

Monty

The Great Eskimo Chief Mighty Lug Nut taught me this recipe whilst I was hitch-hiking through the Southern Arctic in the middle of a snowstorm.

Gadget

Are there a lot of walnut trees in the Arctic?

Monty

Oh, of course not, Gadget luv. They used walrus nail clippings instead.

Gadget

It's a shame we couldn't finish making your famous walnut walleroos, Monty.

Monty

Too right! But a walnut walleroo without its walnuts is like a mouse without his cheese.

[disguised as Dale, spotting Dale coming home] ALIENS!

AAAH!

We're being attacked by aliens that can take our shapes!

Monty

Yeah, that sounds like the old Dale to me.

Gadget

Calm down, Dale. It's only a movie.

Dale

[Running in] ALIENS!

AAAH!

Monty

Which one of these buttons makes this baby spin?

Gadget

Try the one marked "ON".

Monty

Oh yeah, I knew that. [gives Gadget an angry look]

Dale

What would birds want to do with the Ranger Plane?

Monty

They're worshipping it like some sort of god.

Gadget

Golly! I built it to last but I didn't think it would be immortal.

Dale

Uh... roodle-roodle?

Oh, my goodness! Demons! Evil spirits!

Monty

What's this bird squawking about?

Monty

Aces flying, Gadget. That's some booster rocket we've got there.

Gadget

Correction - we had there. I just hope I can fix it.

Monty

Easy... Easy...

Chip

Easy for you, maybe!