Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Carla: When the mercury hits 95, I can't be responsible for my actions. Oh who is that hunk over there? In the uniform with the cute buns? [Cliff turns around] Oh my God, it's Clavin. This is worse than I thought. Has he always had that mustache?
Carla: Woody, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. I mean, those guys at Gary's are vicious. They could strip you naked, paint you red, and put you on a subway.
Woody: They wouldn't do that.
Carla: They did it to me. But I got the best of them.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: [laughing] I loved it.
Woody: They wouldn't do that.
Carla: They did it to me. But I got the best of them.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: [laughing] I loved it.
Carla: Woody, you have been coming in here dressed in that ridiculous getup for three weeks now. When are you going to stop this nonsense.
Woody: Carla, as an understudy I have to be dressed and ready to go on at a moments notice. Putting on makeup like this can take hours but I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Carla: Why? Cause I'm not in the theater?
Woody: No, because you don't wear makeup.
Woody: Carla, as an understudy I have to be dressed and ready to go on at a moments notice. Putting on makeup like this can take hours but I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Carla: Why? Cause I'm not in the theater?
Woody: No, because you don't wear makeup.
Carla: You know I don't ask for much in this life; fresh fish, ten cents off on laundry detergent, volcanic boils all over my ex-husband, and the Sox in the Series again before I die.
Carla: You've been with thousands of women over the years, right?
Sam: Yeah right.
Carla: How many cards do you get on Father's Day?
Sam: That doesn't mean anything.
Carla: Sammy sooner or later you're gonna have to face the possibility that whether you like it or not you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
Sam: You're fired!
Sam: Yeah right.
Carla: How many cards do you get on Father's Day?
Sam: That doesn't mean anything.
Carla: Sammy sooner or later you're gonna have to face the possibility that whether you like it or not you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
Sam: You're fired!
Carla: [to Eric] You cannot believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Ya know, if you could fix TVs and crack walnuts on your forehead, you could be my ex-husband.
Carla:I am not gona wind up in your office,strapped to some tables with some electricity shots going through my head.
Frasier:Carla, thats not part of the therapy.
Carla: Oh yeah? What about Diane?
Frasier: Now look, I never treated Diane with any kind of shocks(to Sam) of course now I wish I had.
Frasier:Carla, thats not part of the therapy.
Carla: Oh yeah? What about Diane?
Frasier: Now look, I never treated Diane with any kind of shocks(to Sam) of course now I wish I had.
Cliff: [about Martin] How does a guy so young get to be so incredibly powerful?
Woody: I just try to maintain a cheerful attitude and try not abuse my position.
Woody: I just try to maintain a cheerful attitude and try not abuse my position.
Cliff: [about women] They're only good for one thing.
Carla: And for you, not even that.
Carla: And for you, not even that.
Cliff: [after the gang learns that Rebecca stills get an allowance from her father] Imagine somebody getting an allowance at her age, eh? My ma cut me off when I was thirty. No ifs, ands or buts. And it hurt, I tell you - hurt like hell. Ah, but it had a happy ending.
Norm: Made you more self-reliant, Cliff?
Cliff: Nah. A couple of years later her pension fund went bankrupt. She had to come crawling to me for some dough. I just gave her the old horse laugh. "What goes around," huh, boys?
Norm: Made you more self-reliant, Cliff?
Cliff: Nah. A couple of years later her pension fund went bankrupt. She had to come crawling to me for some dough. I just gave her the old horse laugh. "What goes around," huh, boys?
Cliff: [at Mr. Pubb's]Look at all the neon in here.
Norm: It looks like the inside of a UFO.
Cliff: Actually they're quite different... I guess.
Norm: It looks like the inside of a UFO.
Cliff: Actually they're quite different... I guess.
Cliff: [on Johnny Carson's stage] Heeeeeere's Cliffy!
[Johnny Carson walks out on stage towards Cliff]
Johnny: Feels pretty good, doesn't it?
Cliff: Yeah.
Johnny: Now get the hell of my stage before I call security.
[Johnny Carson walks out on stage towards Cliff]
Johnny: Feels pretty good, doesn't it?
Cliff: Yeah.
Johnny: Now get the hell of my stage before I call security.
Cliff: [to Eric] We swear not a word you say will ever go beyond this room.
Norm: We never go beyond this room.
Norm: We never go beyond this room.
Cliff: [to Janet Eldridge] I will deliver you the postal vote.
Carla: Yeah, too bad it will be to the wrong address.
Carla: Yeah, too bad it will be to the wrong address.
Cliff: [trying to scratch a bikini off a card] There's something wrong here. I can't get the bikini off my girl.
Norm: Story of your life, big guy.
Norm: Story of your life, big guy.