You're in a pretty good mood tonight.
Why not? Last night I was up till two in the morning finishing off Kierkegaard.
I hope he thanked you for it.
S1 E19Pick a Con... Any Con
Let me give the sign.
I don't know, isn't it kinda tricky?
GGeorge
Well, he is the last person Harry would suspect to be in on anything clever.
S1 E20Someone Single, Someone Blue
My friends call me 'Coach', but my other nickname is 'Red'.
HHelen
Why? Because your hair used to be red?
No, because I read a book.
What'll it be Norm?
Fame, fortune, fast women.
How about a beer?
Even better.
S1 E21Showdown - Part 1
Hey Sam, you want me to hang around until your date gets here.
No, you probably want to get on home.
Are you kiddin'? It's two a.m., my kids might be there.
Listen I think you and Derek will make a great match.
Really?
Yeah, you both think you're perfect and one of you is right.
S1 E22Showdown - Part 2
Coach, do you think I'm a smart person?
You're the smartest person I ever met.
Well, I, Diane Chambers, bred and educated to walk with kings, once offered a full scholarship to the Sorbonne, have allowed myself to become attracted to a six foot three inch bubble gum card.
Well gee, I think I can help you out with the sore buns Diane, but...the rest of what you say is all over my head!
You are the nuttiest, the stupidest, the phoniest fruitcake I ever met!
You, Sam Malone, are the most arrogant, self-centered son-of-a--
Shut up! Shut your fat mouth!
Make me!
Make you?... My God I'm, I'm gonna... I'm gonna bounce you off every wall in this office!
Try it and you'll be walking funny tomorrow... or should I say funnier?
You know... you know I always wanted to pop you one! Maybe this is my lucky day, huh?
You disgust me! I hate you!
Are you as turned on as I am?
More!
Bet me. [They kiss, fade to black]
Now I'm going to nibble on your ear.
Don't tell me you're going to nibble on my ear...
S2 E1Power Play
The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.
Like Colorado?
No, Coach. Uh, more like a king or a prince. Conversely, if you've not led a good life, you come back in a more lowly condition.
[chuckling] Last time around, I must have made a real ass out of myself.
You've been with a lot of women.
No, I have not. There have not been that many women. I just exaggerated here in the bar. There have not been that many.
How many have there been?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe four hun-- [Diane gasps] Honeys. Honeys. Four honeys.
S2 E2Little Sister Don't Cha
I have impossibly high standards for a woman.
She has to like you, right?
If I wasn't wearing this uniform, I'd ask you to step outside.
If you weren't wearing that uniform, we'd all step outside.
S2 E3Personal Business
First of all nobody resigns from a bar and second of all nobody resigns in Latin.
It's French, Sammy.
Would you like a beer, Norm?
I'd like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.
S2 E4Homicidal Ham
[about Andy Andy] We, mostly I, can save this man's life.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.