Leo Wyatt quotes from Charmed

Piper

Even if he can handle the demons, he must sense the tension, which means at the very best we end up with a neurotic infant.

Leo

Look on the bright side... growing up with your sisters, he was bound to be neurotic anyway.

Phoebe

Oh...I could just eat your little face...

Piper

Phoeb? After the parasites that did actually kinda want to eat him...not so cute.

Phoebe

Gotcha! Oooh, I could smush you! Oooh, I could just smush your little face!

Piper

Much better.

Paige

Is that his new name? Smush Face Halliwell?

Leo

'S about as good as everything else we've come up with.

Phoebe

No new ideas, huh?

Piper

Actually-

Leo

No, we've been so busy with the alarm and the demon fighting and the sister saving. (he looks at Paige)

Paige

Sorry...

Piper

Oh, don't be sorry, Paige, you were brave! And you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby... which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew, in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.

Phoebe

I think that's a great idea.

Piper

(looks at Leo) What do you think?

Leo

(he smiles) Yeah.

Paige

(touched) Thanks.

Piper

And I also have an idea for his first name! Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.

Leo

(stunned but happy) Really? It doesn't begin with a 'P'...

Piper

Well, so we break with tradition.

Piper

We did learn that we have some issues to work on. Like somebody need to get a life first.

Leo

And one of us needs to be wife first.

Phoebe

Oh, easy on the rhyming. No more spells.

Piper

He is so innocent. If only he had any idea what Mommy and Auntie Paige did today.

Leo

They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.

Leo

Rock on.

Piper

Don't do that.

Leo

Rock on.

Piper

Give it up man.

Piper

Grams... meet the next generation of Halliwells. (she gives Grams the baby) Baby Wyatt!

Grams

Wyatt? (she laughs) That's a silly name for a girl, isn't it?

Phoebe

Grams! It's a boy! (her grandmother stares at her) Look at the outfit!

Paige

(in disbelief) You didn't know?

Grams

Well, no, I - I just assumed it was a... what went wrong?

Leo

(offended) Wrong?

Grams

(backtracking) Oh well, I don't mean 'wrong' wrong, it's just that we've... (staring at Wyatt with some mistrust) always had... girls.

Piper

(determinedly upbeat) And now we have a boy!

Grams

Now they'd be better off with a dog. More loyal and they die sooner.

Leo

Excuse me?

Grams

Oh... (chuckles) Don't mind me. You know, I never have very much luck with men.

Leo

But you've been married four times.

Grams

Exactly.

Paige

Ghosts can still feel pain. Maybe I can just orb his testicles somewhere.

Piper

Paige there will be no talk of testicle orbing in front of the child

Leo

Not around his daddy either.

Leo

You need to channel your hearth and home instincts to fight the Titans.

Piper

I was speaking from the heart not the hearth.

Leo

You're not the ancient greeks, you're the charmed ones. I didn't give you anything you can't handle. Phoebe, you lost yourself to the darkest love that ever existed, and you came back. Of course you can handle being the Goddess of Love.

Phoebe

I never thought of it that way.

Leo

Paige, you're the Goddess of War because you've been consumed with gaining power but you've never let the power consume you. And Piper, is it any wonder that I made you the Goddess of Earth? You are everything that is good and beautiful in this world, the mother of my son.

Piper

You really have that much faith in us?

Leo

You really need to ask that?

Paige

Well that little magical whammy you performed on her kind of, um, backfired.

Phoebe

You see, after you left, Piper was really...

Paige

Chipper. Yeah, incessantly, increasingly, annoyingly chipper.

Phoebe

What she said.

Leo

Well, it was supposed to make her feel less pain. I guess with me not around to pull it back a little bit, she got happier and happier?

Paige

Um, no, psychotically chipper.

Leo

Paige...

Phoebe

Let her go. It might seem silly to you, but it's important to her, I know.

Chris

See? It helps to be an empath.

Phoebe

No, it helps to be a sister.

Leo

Chris, what are you doing sitting around here? Aren't you supposed to be getting to know your new charge?

Oh, hi, Leo.

Chris

Okay, look, before you get mad, you're the one who wanted me to have a charge in the first place. Remember?

Leo

To protect her.

Oh, he was using protection.

Chris

Yeah, I don't think that's what he meant.

Leo

How was your date?

Piper

Short.

Leo

Short? You mean like "leprechaun" short?

Piper

No, Leo, he wasn't short, the date was cut short by this.

Chris

You're okay?

Leo

Thanks for not listening to me.

Chris

Any time.