Paige Matthews quotes from Charmed

Paige

Piper. I have something to tell you.

Piper

Paige...

Paige

You know that brown suede coat? You thought you lost it but, um, it's in my closet. And those earrings you liked. I borrowed them and I never gave them back.

Piper

You're stalling.

Paige

I know. But you can't blame a girl for trying.

Phoebe

Oh. Any idea what this meeting's all about?

Paige

Oh, probably something to do with the kids.

Phoebe

Why? Did something happen?

Paige

Oh, I'm sure they've gotten kidnapped by the latest demon or something.

Phoebe

Paige, that is so not funny.

Paige

You got so emotional when you're PMS-ed.

Phoebe

And you got mean.

Paige

I do not got mean. I'm above it all. Nothing happens to me.

Piper

All righty than.

Phoebe

Oh, right, nothing happens to you. You're above it all.

Paige

Fine, I get a little jumpy.

Piper

And I get a little pissy, so watch it.

We know.

Paige

The good news is we all get over it at the same time.

Piper

As long as we don't kill each other in the process, which brings me to what we need to talk about.

Paige

Ah, that sounds serious. That calls for ice cream with three spoons.

Phoebe

Ah-ah-ah! Persional gain.

Paige

I know, but screw it, it's too good.

Piper

Anyway, I've been wanting to tell you guys something for a while. Um, I just didn't know how to say it.

Phoebe

Oh my God. Are you pregnet again?

Piper

No, this is not a good thing. Do you guys remember Zola, the Elder who disappeared?

Paige

Yeah.

Piper

Well, he didn't disappear. He was killed. Leo killed him.

Phoebe

Leo killed him?

Paige

Heh!

Piper

It was an accident. He didn't mean to. I mean, he was tricked.

Paige

You might want to tell that to Zola.

Oh!

Leo

Sorry to interrupt, but I have to tell you something that you're probably not gonna like.

Paige

Did you kill anybody else? I'm sorry.

Phoebe

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!

Piper

What? Where are the boys?

Phoebe

The boys are fine. We're not.

Paige

Keep it down. Hey!

Piper

Hey, yourself. Look!

Paige

Oh my God! What happened to him?

Phoebe

I think we're what happened to him.

Paige

What are you talking about?

Phoebe

We're in the cage, that's what I'm talking about. I think we trapped our selves.

Piper

No, we didn't. Did we?

Phoebe

I think that dream I had was real.

Paige

So you're saying, that we, did this to him?

Phoebe

Do you have a better explanation?

Paige

That is crazy. (stands up, hits force-field, plops back down)

Phoebe

As you were saying?

Paige

Okay. What does this mean? We're demons?

Piper

No, we didn't turn into demons, Paige.

Phoebe

We turned into monsters.

Paige

I know we all get a little testy this time of month, but that's ridiculous.

Piper

It can't be that, it's gotta be something else

Phoebe

Like what? The blue moon?

Piper

We gotta get out of here. This is crazy. Paige, try to orb one of these crystals away.

Paige

Crystal. Blue moon?

Paige

Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?

Phoebe

Like what, a wildebeast?

Piper

Please don't say beast.

Paige

No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?

Piper

Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Paige

Oh, what happened?

You attacked us.

Phoebe

Oh, really? Then how come I'm the one with the headache?

We were forced to defend ourselves.

Phoebe

What are we doing here?

Paige

Well, he said for us to meet him here. He needed to talk to us about something important.

Phoebe

Yeah, but Paige it's a fire.

Paige

So?

Phoebe

So we don't do fires. Firemen do fires. We do fireballs

Paige

They're dicks.

Kyle

(giggles) Dicks?

Paige

No, like private eyes, detectives.

Leo

(to Phoebe) Try and block her path.

Kyle

You were saying?

Paige

Thanks, guys, could you be any less subtle?

Kyle

Looks like your sisters agree with me.

Paige

Don't gloat.

Lord of the Rings?

Historically inaccurate.

Harry Potter?

Filled with juvenile delinquents.

Even The Wizard of Oz?

Disparaging to little people. Munchkins being persecuted. Filth!

Paige

Oh, come on, seriously?

It is the same story with all the books. None of them deserve to be banned.

I suppose you want another naked Godiva riding out of the book again.

Paige

Is that what this is all about? Godiva?

It's just an excuse and he knows it. He's using it to push his own agenda which is to stifle freedom of speech.

Now that's what I call stifling.

Paige

That is uncalled for. You give her her mouth back now.

Why you little worm. I should...

Little. Did you hear that? She's a size-ist.

Kyle

You turned me into a felon, you know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft.

Paige

It's a fiction story in a fiction world. I highly doubt we're breaking any laws.

Kyle

It may be a fiction world but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me.

Paige

Yeah, well, that's precisely why we need to blend in before those goons come to get us again.

Paige

Are you peeking?

Kyle

No. Are you?

Paige

What? What's going on?

Piper

Oh, you know, nothing. Your boyfriend tried to kill my husband.

Kyle

Hey. I let myself in, if that's okay.

Paige

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Sure. Of course. Hey. How are you?

Kyle

So, what's going on here?

Paige

Just scrambling. We've been quite a rule knocking off this demons thanks to the Avatars.

Kyle

The Avatars?

Paige

Yeah. They've been great helping us to find these demons.

Paige

I guess so.

Leo

What about Zankou?

Piper

I think I know how to find him.

Phoebe

Will you give me a lift? I wanna make sure I get my last column in.

Paige

Last column?

Phoebe

Well yeah. How much advice can a world with no conflict need? I may be out of the job.

Paige

You okay with that?

Phoebe

I've got better things to look forward to.

Piper

I was thinking, if we adjust the tracking spell we used to find the Source, it might work on Zankou, considering they were working so closely. Paige? Are you listening?

Paige

Yeah, that sounds great.

Piper

Well, it would, if you were listening to me.

Paige

I'm sorry, it's just a... big change.

Piper

I know. And you know what? It's okay to be scared.