Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

What am I supposed to say? That I'm a cash strapped, single, restaurant manager, who still lives in the same house I grew up in with my sisters?

Phoebe

And the cat, don't forget our cat.

S1 Déjà Vu All Over Again

View quote →

Phoebe

Hello? Anybody home? Sister witches, guess what?

Oh, oh. Are you nuts?

Phoebe

What are you doing?

RRob

Hi.

Phoebe

Hi.

(Piper freezes Rob.)

Ooh!

Phoebe

Hi.

Sister witches? I can't believe you said that. What's the matter with you?

Phoebe

How was I supposed to know that you were gonna be here with anybody? Last I heard that you were meeting a banker friend about the loan. Is this the credit check?

S2 Witch Trial

View quote →

Are you out of your mind?

Phoebe

What was I supposed to do? Say no? Look at that poor girl.

Dan

Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.

PPPrue, Piper and Phoebe

Whoa!

S2 Witch Trial

View quote →

Phoebe

What have we got to lose, okay?

Well, apparently we've got our clothes to lose.

Phoebe

I see that. [drags Piper towards the rock and starts to undress]

No. Whoa, whoa, wait, what are you doing?

Phoebe

When in Rome...

No, no, no! We're not in Rome, Phoebe, we're in California, and it's illegal here!

S2 Witch Trial

View quote →

Phoebe

Wow, what did you buy?

Doody.

We weren't out of that.

No. I stepped in it, again. That man has turned our frontwalk into a puppy minefield.

Phoebe

I can not believe that guy still lets his dog do his business right in front of our house.

Well, we've left notes.

Yes, and that left no where.

Phoebe

Yes, well, I've had it. Next time I catch him in the act I'm gonna get him a piece of my mind.

That couldn't be.

Phoebe

Oh, I hope it is.

That's them. That's the guy and his dog. I can't believe it.

That is so rude. He's just gonna walk away.

Phoebe

Then don't let him. Use your magic.

Uh?

Phoebe

Well, if you can't teach the dog new tricks, how about the owner? Just think on the money we'll save on carpet cleaning alone.

Phoebe, we can't use our magic just to teach him or anybody else a lesson.

Phoebe

Why not? It's for the greater good. I mean that's our job, right? Think of it as a community service. We will do a whole block a favor. Come on! Ok, Piper.

Hope he's not out of my range.

Phoebe

Prue?

Nice shot.

Phoebe

An eye for an eye, a shoe for shoe. Oh, oh.

Did he see you?

Phoebe

So what if he did? What's he gonna do? Cry a witch? [the girls turn away from the window] Well, we've done our good deed for the day. I think I deserve 15 minutes of channel surfing. [A report about baseball player Cal Greene appears on the TV as Phoebe flips through channels]

Who wants coffee?

I'll grind.

Phoebe

[gasps, as she gets a premonition about the future]

[she and Piper run back into the room] Phoebe, are you okay?

Take a deep breath, honey. It's all right.

Phoebe

No, it's not. I saw my future. I was being executed. Burned alive.

View quote →

Why would a report about baseball player trigger a premonition like that?

Phoebe

I don't know. All I know is that I could feel it. I could feel the fire.

And we were just standing there? That can't be right.

Phoebe

That's what I saw.

There's no way that we would let that happen. Not in the past, present or future.

Phoebe

What did I do? Or, what is it that I'm going to do?

That's Leo, I'll get that. [she opens the door] Hey, stranger.

Is that what I am now?

Mhm. Playing hooky?

Well, they're making me work tonight, so I got the afternoon off.

Mmm, the old "gotta save the world" excuse again?

Oh, like you've never had to use it. [Piper hesitates] You're about to use it.

Well, there is just something I have to do. Maybe you could...

[jingling, Leo looks up] Now?

Leo?

That's okay, I...You go, there's actually something I have take care, so...

Well, we really need to talk about things, you know about... where we stand.

Yeah, we do. Rain check?

That's what we do best. [they kiss, but Leo orbs mid-kiss] I hate when he does that.

View quote →

[going up to the attic] So, what did he want?

To cancel our date. He's working late, again.

Phoebe

You didn't ask him what we should do?

He had to fly, literally. The pages are doing that flipping thing on their own again.

It's a spell to take us to the future.

Two, actually. One to send us and one to bring us home. But, apparently we only get one shot. Once we use it, they disappear.

Phoebe

Wait a minute you guys. We almost died going back to the past, this is not something that you just do.

We're talking about your life, Phoebe.

Phoebe

And I'm talking about yours, Prue. I'm just saying, I think that we should think this over a little bit.

Look, you had that premonition today for a reason. It must mean we're supposed to do something about it. And, going in the future may be the only way to find out what you did to put you on that pyre.

Phoebe

How do you know it's something that I did? I mean, it might be a demon or a warlock that puts me there.

Do you really wanna wait to find out? Okay, pack your bags. We go, try and figure out what happened, and hopefully come back with enough information to stop it. We're gonna need a date, Phoebe.

Phoebe

Uh, February 12th, 2009. [she writes 2-12-2009 on a piece of paper] That's two weeks before the date I saw in my premonition.

All right, that should give to us more than enough time to figure out what put you there.

I wonder how I look.

Phoebe

Piper, you look great. This is hardly the time to...

Not now, in the future. When we were back to the seventies we saw ourselves as kids, and now we'll be seeing ourselves walking around ten years older? All the vanquishing? Think about the wear and tear.

Okay, well...

[reciting the spell to take them to the future along with Piper and Phoebe] Hear these words, hear the rhyme,

We send to you this burning sign,

Phoebe

Then our future selves we'll find,

In another place and time.

View quote →

Phoebe

Prue? Piper?

PPratt

They haven't been to visit you before. Why would they come now? No... They're going to be as happy to get rid of you as I am.

Phoebe

Who are you?

PPratt

[laughs] I'm sorry, it's been so long since my last visit. Executions are a bitch to plan: logistics, alerting the media, gathering the kindling.

Phoebe

Uh... you know, I've had a lot of time to do some thinking about... why I'm here.

PPratt

Well... no amount of thinking will change the outcome. Justice will be served for your crime.

Phoebe

But it wasn't really a big crime, was it?

PPratt

You are truly evil. What bigger crime is there than taking a man's life?

Phoebe

[seems shocked] I killed someone?

PPratt

[laughs] Phoebe, what is this? An attempt to stay your execution? Plead insanity? Won't work. You have five hours to live - tick tock.

Phoebe

What? Five hours? But that's not possible.

PPratt

Well... I'm happy to see the seriousness of your crime has finally hit you. See... you represent everything I abhor. You're a threat. A danger to everything that is good and pure in our world.

Phoebe

You're talking out of fear. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it evil.

PPratt

No, it's you who doesn't understand! You killed the man using your power, and now you're gonna die because of it! I only wish that I can burn all of your kind with you! But don't worry... in time I will. This is only the beginning.

View quote →

Nobody's gonna rescue you.

Phoebe

If that is some kind of Whitelighter humor, let me be the first to tell you, you are not a very funny race of people.

I wish you remembered what you'd done. It'd make this so much easier. Your future self used witchcraft for vengeance, Phoebe. Pratt is using that as a platform.

Phoebe

Why does everyone think I killed someone? I wouldn't. I mean, I couldn't. What did I do? Premonition the man to death? My power is passive.

Not in the future. It's grown. It's changed. As have you. Which means unfortunately you have to suffer to consequences.

Phoebe

I don't believe it.

View quote →

PPratt

Let today be a lesson to all those who would seek to defy human nature with their way of life. Let today serve notice that black magic will not be tolerated in our society, and let today be remembered as the day we burned the witch!

Piper, freeze him!

Phoebe

Prue! Piper!

Come on, we're getting you out of here.

Phoebe

No, wait. You can't. Prue, I'm serious.

What are you talking about?

Phoebe

You guys have to leave. I...deserve to be here. Or, my future self does.

But, you killed a killer. Don't be ridiculous.

Look, this is Pratt's personal crusade. This isn't about us, this is about him. Wherever we go, he will follow us. He will hunt us. He will hunt our families. If anybody should be punished, it should be him. (she stops, and raises her hand to move Pratt onto the pyre)

Phoebe

Prue, what are you doing?!

[she stares at her hand, and back at Pratt] Saving the future for good witches, and our future.

Phoebe

[grabs Prue's arm] Prue, wait! [Prue looks at her] Don't. Don't become a murderer too. It has to end with me. [Prue lowers her hand]

Phoebe, he was evil. He deserved what you—

Phoebe

[starting to cry] Wrong thing done for the right reason...still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent...not punish the guilty, and...I crossed that line, and I know that. And now you guys have to know that too.

We are not leaving here without you.

Phoebe

Prue, we were sent here for a reason. Maybe not to stop this, like what we thought, but maybe to understand why this has to happen. Why you have to let this happen. (openly crying now) I don't wanna die, but I don't want you to die because of me. [they hug, and Phoebe begins sobbing] I love you. [she goes back to the pyre, and nods for Piper to unfreeze Pratt, which Piper does. She screams in pain as she burns].

View quote →

Wait. What does this mean? "Absolvo Amitto Amplus Brevis Semper Mea". Phoebe! Help!

Phoebe

Piper, no!

Phoebeee!

Phoebe

Piper?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Piper?

What the hell is happening? Where are we?

All right, hurry. Just get to the bookcase fast.

Whahhh!

Watch out.

Uhh!!! Whoa!!! Whoa!!! Wow!!!

MMalcolm

Don't tell me she's the sister witch who was gonna save us.

S2 The Painted World

View quote →

Phoebe, we can't even give our cat a vitamin, how are we going to get this down a demon's throat?

Phoebe

In this.

What is that?

Phoebe

It's a balloon.

Okay, where is it?

Phoebe

Where's what?

The spoonful of sugar big enough to hide that thing.

Phoebe

You're looking at her.

S2 The Devil's Music

View quote →

Lives are at stake Prue, innocent men are going to die. We're your sisters, Prue, we're not going to laugh.

(comes out of the bathroom, dressed as a guy) How can I save anyone? Okay, I look ridiculous, I am wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriends pile, I have hair in strange places and I have a PENIS! (as Phoebe starts giggling) This is so not funny!

Phoebe

Hahahaha.

S2 She's a Man, Baby, a Man!

View quote →

Phoebe

It didn't start happening until she sucker-punched Owen.

Well you had a problem, I fixed it.

Phoebe

Oh, you bet your butt you did. You nearly broke his jaw.

I saved his life. Look, you're the one who told me I had to practice being a man, right, so I acted on instinct. And to tell you the truth, the moment I hit him, I felt powerful and strong like somehow that made me a man.

You want to know how to be a real man, look at Dan. Honest, kind, good heart. The type of guy who would risk being late for work just to make you smile, not some bully who walks around thinking one punch is going to change anything.

She learned all that just from looking out a window.

S2 She's a Man, Baby, a Man!

View quote →

Phoebe

Oh yeah, nice body, great tan.