Kevin Ryan quotes from Castle

Montgomery

You had to mess with the curse, didn’t you? Trying to be funny. You know what kind of hell I’d catch if Castle got eaten in the line of duty?

Ryan

Don’t tell me you really believe in that stuff, sir.

Montgomery

You know what I believe in, Detective? That there’s no upside in screwing with things that you can’t explain. First year in homicide, right? My partner tackles a suspect through the window of a gypsy smoke shop. Owner’s furious. Threatens all kind of hexes on our houses if we don’t personally go and clean it up. And we tell her, “Yeah, take it up with the city.” Two hours later, my partner drops dead. Heart attack.

Esposito

And you think it was the hexes?

Montgomery

No. The man ate bacon with every meal. But, next morning, I went over there, fixed that window. And you know why?

[look at each other for a moment and then back] Because there’s no upside in screwing with things you can’t explain?

Montgomery

And don’t you ever forget it.

Castle

Wilder, Daemon Wilder?

Esposito

Yeah, you know him?

Castle

I know of him, this is a photo of one of his ad campaigns. He runs a line of boutique men's skin care products.

Ryan

You mean like bathroom stuff?

Castle

He's got a toner; totally alcohol free. Fantastic. He's got a shaving cream that is ridiculous.

Esposito

I'm good with the drug store stuff man.

Castle

No no no no, hang on. This stuff will change your life. (squirt)

Esposito

It's hot...

Castle

It's hot.

Ryan

It's hot?

Castle

It's HOT.

Ryan

It's hot! How do they do that?

Montgomery

You really think she (Bridget McManus) could overpower Zack (Zack Lindsey)?

Ryan

Uh, no, but her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them, each over 6 foot, each with his own claim to fame... Assaults...

Castle

Oh.

Ryan

Ag. Assault...

Castle

Bad.

Ryan

A.D.W.,

Castle

Ee.

Ryan

Battery...

Castle

Mm.

Ryan

Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.

Castle

Doesn't count.

Montgomery

Easy.

Ryan

Dude.

Castle

I... just jokes.

Beckett

For all we know, Bridget was lying.

Ryan

[Walks in, looking vaguely disheveled] Well, she wasn't lying about her brothers. Talked to all four of them, one Irishman to another... and another. Anyway, they alibied out, they were in New Paults when Zach was killed.

All of them? [Ryan nods] For what?

Ryan

[Furtively] They were at a sporting event, of sorts. [Starts to leave]

[Stopping him] Which was...?

Ryan

Leprechaun toss. [Esposito smirks] Don't ask! Anyway, the, uh, older brother, he got first place. [Realizes his jacket sleeve is torn] Aww, man!

Castle

Well, the "merits" of Irish culture aside...

Ryan

Hey!

Castle

Sorry. Perhaps this suggests Bridget was telling the truth about our elusive Estonian.

Castle

Maybe you missed the part where I said she was shot dead. When I heard the noises coming from the next room, I thought whoever killed her was coming back. So I picked up the gun to defend myself. It seemed like a very good idea at the time. That’s when you, Esposito and Annie Oakley [gestures to the viewing room] come bursting through the door.

Montgomery

Annie Oakley?

Ryan

I kind of almost shot Castle. What? He had a gun.

Beckett

Did you kill Carver for the map?

Oh, come on, kid, you know me better than that.

Beckett

[Coldly, hurt] I don't think I do. Because the man I knew wouldn't betray me like this.

I gotta go.

Beckett

Mike. I was in love with you.

Oh, Kate. Don't.

Beckett

You were the only one who understood the obsession that drove me. Who didn't tell me that I would get over my mother's murder and that she wouldn't want me to do this.

[Shaking his head, sadly] Just -- just trying to do right by you, kid.

Beckett

I dreamt about you. The night I shot the guy that killed my mother, I dreamt that I was the one who was on the ground dying, and that you came up to me and told me to stand up, 'cause there was still work to be done. [Longingly] When I woke up that morning I just wanted to call you, but we hadn't talked in so long.

You should've called. I never forgot.

Beckett

I'm going to catch Carver's killer, Royce. And then I'm going to recover Lloyd's score. And when I arrest you, you're going to realize that what you destroyed today was worth a hell of a lot more than money. [She hangs up. Speaks to Ryan, suddenly distant, and unemotional] Did I keep him on long enough?

Ryan

[Shocked] Uh, uh...

Esposito

Yeah, we got an address.

Beckett

All right, let's go.

Castle

Wh-what? All of that was just an act, to get a trace?

Beckett

Of course. [She turns and walks out, her face contorting with silent tears]

Ryan

You know, if this were a horror movie, we’d be the first ones killed, splitting off like this.

Esposito

Yeah, except we are not a couple of top-heavy coeds out looking for fun. We’re highly trained officers of the law with enough firepower to take out a horde of undead.

Ryan

Hispanic and cocky. Yeah, you’d definitely die first.

Ryan

He didn't kill Goldstein, but he did kill squirrel-stein. [Holds up a dead squirrel] What're the odds, huh?

Castle

Oh no, they took his clothes too!

Ryan

Could you...? [hands dead squirrel to officer]

Esposito

Awwwww!

Ryan

Yeah I know, I'm sorry.

Esposito

I found something unusual. Almost every morning she bought coffee.

Ryan

A doctor that drinks coffee, wow that is unusual.

Esposito

It is. The coffee shop is twenty blocks from her apartment.

Castle

Maybe it was on her way to work?

Esposito

Nope, complete opposite direction.

Castle

Boyfriend in the neighborhood?

Esposito

Only one way to find out. (walks away)

Ryan

Great, now he's mad at me.

Ryan

…So I spoke to more members of the staff and that’s when I found…the others.

Castle

The others?

Ryan

The other women in what I call... [pulls out a second board] the Galaxy of Greg. Each one of these women orbits Greg and considers him to be her special friend.

Castle

Well, that totally makes him McSteamy!

Beckett

Those men knew who killed Marie and they refused to tell us.

Castle

They also refused to confirm that J. Edgar Hoover liked to wear dresses.

Esposito

[walking up and checking out the injection marks on their necks] Abducted by government agents, huh? [grins] Come on. What were you two really doing?

Beckett

[rolls eyes] It's not a hickey, Esposito.

Esposito

You both have one.

Castle

I wish it was a hickey. [Beckett looks up with a small smile] It's from the injectors.

Esposito

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Castle

They were Men in Black!

Ryan

Hey. Are those hickeys?

Esposito

Yes.

Beckett

No.

Castle

I wish.

Beckett

[Watching Natalie at the murder board] Do I really do that?

Castle

Yes, and it's adorable.

Beckett

If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Castle looks momentarily puzzled] Her me, not me me.

Castle

Oh, well a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? It's just way too... meta.

Ryan

[Ryan walks in] We should have a code word so we all know what Beckett to kill when the clone army attacks

Beckett

Unless we make a preventive strike

Castle

Get through to Jenny yet?

Ryan

She's still not picking up

Beckett

Don't worry, you'll be laughing about it soon enough

Castle

We are

Ryan

Thanks. So I've been running through all Stacy's clients files. Three couples had filed for divorce within the last month, can you believe it? You marry the love of your life and next thing you know they're cheating on you

Beckett

Ryan

Ryan

Sorry, anyway two of the guts have rock-solid alibies and the third divorce has nothing to do with cheating

Esposito

[Esposito walks in] What you guys doing?

Ryan

Hiding from creepy Beckett

Beckett

We are not hiding

Beckett

So where's Esposito?

Ryan

Ha, take a wild guess.

Lanie.

Ryan

Can't believe they still think that none of us know.

Castle

Well, let's let em keep thinking that a while longer. The bubble bursts soon enough.

Beckett

Not if you're in it with the right person.

Now, I’m going to make you a deal. You tell me what I need to know, one pro to another, and I will put a bullet in your brain. You don’t, you jerk me around, and you will be begging me to before this night is up.

Esposito

I’m going to have to go with option B.

Ryan

Oh, yeah. We’re definitely going to jerk you around.

Montgomery

Just so I’m clear, are you taking over?

This is your case. I’m just here to lend support however I can.

Esposito

Yo, Cap. ICE just sent over the immigration papers for Amir Alhabi. He got a degree in electrical engineering from a school in Damascus.

What was he working on in Syria?

Ryan

I got that one. I just spoke with the State Department. They debriefed Amir when he first landed here. They say he was working on a weapons program for the Syrians.

Montgomery

Nuclear weapons?

Ryan

Yeah

Okay. Now I’m taking over