Kevin Ryan quotes from Castle

Beckett

We'll start over. Fresh eyes. You take our murder, we'll take yours.

Esposito

All right.

Castle

[a thought strikes him] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again.

Beckett

You take our murder, we'll take yours.

Castle

Could it be that easy? You take mine, I'll take yours.

Esposito

What are you getting at, Castle?

Castle

Strangers on a Train.

Ryan

The Hitchcock movie?

Castle

I'm partial to the novel by Patricia Highsmith, but yes. We have two strong suspects, but with airtight alibis, right?

Esposito

Right.

Castle

We know they're connected. What if the connection is the killers?

Beckett

Jason and Eric committed each other's murders.

Castle

And made sure they had an airtight alibi for the murder they knew they'd be suspected of. It's not our victims that are connected, it's our murderers. Crisscross!

Esposito

Lanie ran the substance on our vics against the Hudson River water. It's a match.

Ryan

Marx gets on the boat uptown, Cosway joins him at Chelsea Piers, and they ride to Pier 11 together.

Castle

So one day, maybe they start talking. Maybe about the Yankee bullpen, maybe about the attractive secretary leaning up against the railing. Oh, and Jason starts grumbling about his wife. Eric maybe mentions how he covets Frank's apartment.

Esposito

Yeah, well, there's an open upper deck. I figure that's where they were doing their plottin'.

Beckett

And how the water from the Hudson got on both of them.

Castle

It gets transferred from Eric Marx's jacket and gloves to Ashley Cosway when they struggle.

Esposito

Then to Frank Anderson when Jason Cosway swipes his watch and wallet.

Ryan

Done deal.

Beckett

Except it's all circumstantial. The DA will never buy it without hard evidence or a confession.

Esposito

Oh, we're gonna get a confession.

Castle

Not if we get one first.

Ryan

So, bet's back on?

Beckett

[getting in his face] You bet your britches the bet is back on.

Esposito

Castle, hey, is your, your girl here?

Ryan

Rina.

Beckett

Rina used to baby-sit Alexis, fellas. So, as far as Big Rick here is concerned, she might as well be wearing a chastity belt.

Castle

Thank you for that visual image. That's… And also, thank you for calling me "Big Rick".

Ryan

Looking good, Detective Beckett.

Beckett

How did you guys…

Ryan

We're detectives.

Esposito

Called your dad.

Beckett

[Rising up and walking over to them] Okay, okay, you guys have had your fun. I was 17 and I thought that modeling would be an easier way to make money than waitressing.

Esposito

Right.

Beckett

It was one summer, no big deal. [Turns and walks away, but snaps her fingers and turns back] And if you guys tell Castle about this, I will kill you.

Esposito

Yeah, it's too bad, too. Your kind of case, bro'.

Castle

Yeah?

Ryan

Yeah, body was found down that manhole over there. Half eaten.

Castle

Eaten?

Ryan

Yeah, it was covered in some kind of green slime.

Castle

Whoa...

Esposito

Yeah, it was creepy. It's as if someone or some thing is down there.

Castle

[Catching on] Ha, that's... okay. Very funny. Great. [To Beckett] Was there a body down the manhole?

Beckett

Yeah.

Castle

Okay, thank you. An adult.

Beckett

Yeah, you should have seen what else was down there. Two metal canisters with bio-hazard stickers and yellow powder inside of them.

Castle

You opened the... [the detectives smirk] Alright. Will someone please tell me what's really going on here?

Ryan

We're gonna check nearby trash cans for the murder weapon.

Castle

What was the murder weapon, by the way?

Ryan

Some kind of death ray.

Esposito

Turns your insides out.

Ryan

What? [reluctantly] I used to go out with a girl who was into the lifestyle.

Esposito

What happened? Did the relationship suck?

Castle

Oh!

Ryan

Deal-breaker, she wanted to have sex in a coffin. I'm opened-mind, but not that open-minded...

Esposito

Found your stalker. Franco Marquez, aka Frankie Markie. Hayley filed half a dozen complaints against him. It says here that he even tried to break into her apartment. And when she filed against him, he showed up in court and called her a...[sees Alexis] B-I-T-C-H.

Castle

She can spell, Detective.

Ryan

Probably better than you.

Esposito

Where's Nidal Metar? Shakir Nidal Metar! Where is he?

There's no Shakir Nidal Metar here! Only Sally Neidermeyer!

Beckett

Ma'am, did you send a package by bike courier this morning?

Yes, I did!

Beckett

"S. Nidal Metar?" S. Neidermeyer! Some bozo at the courier company wrote the name wrong.

Castle

Our bad. Uh, we can -

Ryan

- Yeah, we can fix this.

Castle

[lifting the door] Sorry.

Ryan

…Maybe it was a pride thing.

Castle

Yeah, but you factor in the sublet, not to mention gas, that's a high price to pay for pride.

Beckett

Yeah, well, never underestimate the fragility of the male ego.

Ryan

Oh, see, that's just a stereotype-

Castle

Don't. Don't. That's… She is baiting us, all right. Just ignore her, and she'll lose her witchy powers.

Beckett

You wish. All right, let's go off to Parker's office. [As they rise, Beckett looks around and checks her pockets]

Castle

Lose something?

Beckett

Um, where… where, um… Where's my broom?

Beckett

[to Ryan and Esposito]: Aren't you guys supposed to be running background checks?

Esposito

We are.

Ryan

On the bride. All day yesterday, I kept feeling like I'd heard the name 'Kira Blaine' before and then it hits me - the dedication of Castle's second book [points to cover of book] "A Rose For Everafter"

Esposito

[reading from book]: For Kira Blaine - you make the stars shine.

Beckett

[pause] When I'm not here, do you guys braid each other's hair and debate who's the coolest Jonas brother?

Esposito

No. But it's totally Nick.

Ryan

Absolutely Nick.

Castle

Bridesmaid dresses are supposed to be hideous.

Esposito

Really? Why?

Beckett

So that the bride looks more beautiful in comparison.

Castle

Ah, see? Not a woman alive who doesn't think about her wedding day, not even Kate Beckett. Tell me you never tore a picture of a wedding gown out of a magazine.

Beckett

[pointedly] I've never torn a picture of a wedding gown out of a magazine. [walks away and smirks]

Castle

You're lying. She's lying.

Ryan

Mmm-hmm.

Ryan

If this squatter was so meticulous about putting things back, why'd he leave all this for us to find?

Castle

You're right. It makes no sense.

Beckett

[surprised] What? No grand theatrical theory to spin for us?

Castle

Honestly, I got nothing.

Ryan

Hey, we're thinking maybe you could talk to Montgomery about finding some room in the budget for those smart boards.

Beckett

Sure. While they're at it, maybe they can buy us Batmobiles.

Esposito

That'd be cool.

Ryan

Yeah.

Beckett

Our murder boards are just fine.

Esposito

For a caveman.

Ryan

Got an apartment up on four, and guess who's got the keys. [Jiggles them]

Beckett

[Snatches the keys] I do.

Ryan

Still no luck with the curse, huh?

Esposito

Look on the bright side, Castle, you die, your book sales skyrocket.

Castle

Great.