Lanie Parish quotes from Castle

Lanie

Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer boy?

Beckett

What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-

Lanie

Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?

Beckett

[answers phone] Beckett.

Castle

[excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!

Castle

[About what he found about Beckett's mother] What was I suppose to do? Not tell her what I found?

Lanie

[Surprised] What you found?

Castle

Oh she didn't tell you, did she? Three people were killed the same way her mother was, right about the same time. One of them was a former law student of hers, another one a documents clerk, the third one a lawyer for a non-profit.

Lanie

Wait, the M.E. at the time didn't make the connection?

Castle

If he did, he buried it.

Lanie

Did you talk to him?

Castle

He died four years ago. So you see why I had to tell her.

Beckett

[to Lanie who is examining a body in a tree] How's it going up there?.

Lanie

I got tree branches poking my boobs and a spotlight shining up my booty.

Esposito

Could be worse. You could be wearing a skirt.

Lanie

[pause] When I come down, Im'ma smack you.

Esposito

I'm looking forward to that.

Lanie

[examining Castle after the car crash] He'll live.

Ryan

What, no brain damage?

Lanie

If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self-inflicted.

Castle

Ahh, good times.

Beckett

[written on a therapist's body] "Psycho the rapist your out of time"?

Lanie Parish

Looks like a patient lost their patience.

Castle

Also his command of grammar. "Your" should be You-apostrophe-R-E as in "you are." That's not even a tough one, not like when to use "who" or "whom."

Beckett

You really think that's the take-away here, Castle?

Castle

I'm just saying - whoever killed her also murdered the English language.

Lanie

[amused] Girl, I'm gonna smack you! You work side by side everyday. He writes a sex scene in his book about you that had me reaching for ice water. Now, little miss bride shows up. Don't tell me you're not the least bit jealous.

Beckett

Oh, please. You've been inhaling too many autopsy fluids. [Beckett begins to leave the room.]

Lanie

Honey, just because you can't see whats goin' on [Voice escalates as Beckett starts leaving] doesn't mean everyone else doesn't see what's going on!

Beckett

[from outside the room, in a singsong] Shut up!

Lanie

[to Sophie, the corpse] Mm-hmm. I see it. You may not, but I do.

Castle

Maybe our killer has a sweet tooth.

Beckett

Given the state of undress I would say it's more likely a sexual fetish.

Lanie

I can do the chocolate. I will even do the whipped cream bikini, but caramel? I prefer slippery to sticky.

Castle

[To Ryan] Does she know we can hear her?

Castle

Quick, who do you want to play you in the Nikki Heat movie?

Lanie

[As if it's the most obvious answer in the world] Halle Berry.

Castle

See? Some people are just great at that game! You know who we could get for you? Angelina? No. Kate Beckett… Kate Beckinsale. We'll call you K-Becks!

[Simultaneously] She's a taxidermist!

Lanie

It's so cute the way you two do that.

Lanie

You know how many strings I had to pull for this, Castle?

Castle

If I’m wrong, I’ll reimburse the city.

Lanie

To hell with the city. It’s me you’re gonna owe. I take spa certificate, jewelry, and cash.

Castle

Duly noted.

Castle

[About the body] That is so cool. Do you mind if I take pictures?

Lanie

Knock yourself out, but if any of them end up on the internet, I will hunt you down and hurt you.

Beckett

Guys. (all look)

Beckett

A man has been murdered here.

Castle

And... we are honoring his legacy.

Lanie

Hm. It's like Sex And The City, only with boys.

Lanie

…so I'd say no, this was no boating accident.

Castle

Then we’d better close the beaches. [Lanie and Becket give him confused looks]"No boating accident"? Chief Brody? Hooper? [the women are still confused] Seriously?

Esposito

Everything points to him being popped for cash and car parts.

Lanie

Not everything, baby

Beckett

[whispering] Did you just call him “baby?”

Lanie

Ooh. Did I?

Castle

[mouthing] You did.

Lanie

He was killed at 11:15

Castle

So specific. I’m impressed.

Lanie

His watch broke when he fell.

Castle

You shouldn’t have told me. Less impressed.