Camp Lazlo · Season 1
Wait a minute. Are you laughing like me?!
[with his face like Raj's and talking in his impression] Whatever do you mean?
[screams] Harold, you are a nice guy but hanging out with you is like, hanging out with myself. And I'm surprised by how pretty that is. Let's not hang out anymore. Don't call, don't write, don't drop by unexpectedly.
But, Raj, I thought...
Great, bye! Nice knowing ya! [walks off and leaves as Harold looks on in sadness]
[walking by] My allergies are really acting up today.
[irritated] I got allergies too! [breathes heavily] Can I be your friend hamster boy?! [Samson walks away from him, uncomfortably; to Chip and Skip, wrapping his arms around them] How 'bout you fellers? Can I be like you? Heck, I'm dumber and stinkier than the two of you combined! [the Dung Beetles walk away from him as well; all the other bean scouts surround him as he breaks down, sobbing] I just wanted to be cool and do fun stuff! [Raj walks up to him] Well, look who decided to drop by unexpectedly!
Can I… um, talk to you for a sec?
Um, Harold, I do not think you are a superhero.
My name's not Harold either. I'll never know who I am.
[laughing] What a loser! [motions to Milt and Larrison] And if that loser was too cool to hang out with guys, what does that make you? [laughs more]
[Milt and Larrison sadly look at each other over being teased and their feelings hurt]
[marches over to him and faces him; furiously] You can't talk to my friends like that!
[sarcastically] Well, if ain't Captain Banana-Pants.
There's no Banana-Pants here! [strips off his clothes, leaving him only in his underwear] Just me.
And what are you gonna do?
I reckon you're about to find out!
[In his office, Scoutmaster Lumpus is watching a commercial on T.V. On the T.V. is a banjo-playing rooster dressed as a sherrif]
♪ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell... ♪ [throws his banjo off-screen] Howdy, partners!
Howdy to you!
Bet you're feelin' hungry.
You know that we do!
Well, my name is Deputy Doodle-Doo. Make the best frozen dinners especially for you! [A pie gets placed on the table and then cuts to him coming out of a saloon] But if you don't believe me or you think it's a lie... [the pie on the table bursts open and a baby chick pops out] There she blows!
Try our chicken pot pie!
[Lumpus drools while watching this]
Big ol' chunks of chicken with gravy. All wrapped up in a deep-dish prairie-style pie. [four pies with arms and legs dance behind him] But if you don't believe me or you think it's a lie... [the chick pops out of the pie] There she blows!
Try our chicken pot pie!
Available in your local frozen food section. Additional gravy sold separately. Get some now.
Will do!
Can't you see I'm a walking health hazard?!
[Scoutmaster Lumpus' office; Slinkman interrogates Milt after he caught him with candy]
[demanding] No more games, Milt! [holds up a piece of candy] Where did you get this, huh?! TELL ME, MILT! [Milt frightfully shakes his head, refusing to tell] What would your father say if he knew you had candy?!
[tearing up as he's about to cry] I don't know.
Neither do I. [threateningly calls Milt's father on the phone] Hello, Milt Sr.? Yes, I have your son here in my office. It would seem…
[giving in while freaking out] ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU! I'LL TELL YOU!
It would seem your son is doing very well here at Camp Kidney. [hangs up] Okay, Milt. Tell me everything.
The jig us up, Samson! Milt told me everything.
I'm in love with a mermaid!
That's great, dude.
Well, I LOVE HER TOO, DUDE!
WHAT?!
[as Bill passes by] Check out this piece of work.
Hey! Why the long face? [he and Lazlo both laugh, nudging each other]
Good one.
Move along.
[Bill runs off, sobbing, then Edward shows up]
Watch this. [to Edward] Doofus says "What?"
What? [realizes he's been tricked; growls in annoyance] Real mature, Lazlo. [storms off]
Samson, what are you trying to pull?!
You know what I think?! I think that Samson doesn't even know Presto!
What?!
[telling the scary story to the campers] It was the coffee table that was haunted!
This friend stuff is harder than I thought.
[holding Wilbert down when he was trying to run away from him] Why did you (try to) run (away) from me, Beaver?
I thought you were gonna hurt me.
Oh, Beaver. [laughs] No, I just wanted to see if you wanted to be best friends.
Friends?
Hey, Beaver, mind if I call you "Beavy?" You like "Beavy," don't you?
Well, actually, my name's not Beaver just because I am a beaver. That doesn't mean--
Quiet, Beavy, you talk too much! Let's do something manly together, like touching muscles.
This stinks. I don't need you, Beaver. I don't need friends.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Camp Lazlo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
