I'm, uh, literally sore, like I worked out last night, like I did leg day.
Can you stop smiling at me like that? You're making me feel exposed.
I'll try. Nope, not possible. And I have class tonight, so I won't see you, but I will be thinking of you and thinking of last night.
Well, I can't stop you from thinking, so think away. Randi, Randi, can I run a moral quandary by you? You know how I had that salsa lesson with Max last night?
Well, afterward, I had a particularly sensual consensual evening with Oscar.
Kat, we're roomies. I heard everything. It sounded like y'all was installing hardwood floors in there.
Okay. Not embarrassed by that at all. Well, I'm feeling a little guilty because I think I may have transferred some of the spiciness of salsa with Max to Oscar. It was just rea--
[Randi sprays water on Kat's face with her water spray bottle.]
I told you, you were playing with fire. I had to put you out.
Okay. But I don't want to be with Max. I want to be with Oscar.
The problem is, you didn't tell Oscar that you were dancing with Max or getting heated up by Max. And unless you're planning a surprise party, you should hide nothing from your partner.
[Randi sprays water on Kat's face with her water spray bottle, again.]
[first lines]
So, yeah. I'm throwing a Cat-A-Versary party because the café's been open a year. Can you believe it? It's a fundraiser for the humane society. There'll be cats in costumes and a photo booth and kettle corn.
Oh, kettle corn? You should've led with that. I'm in.
Great. So how's tall and grumpy doing?
Oh, he's a pure delight around me. But when I mentioned you earlier, he clenched his fists so hard, he broke the soda gun.
Well, I am undeterred. Hey, Max. I would love to see you at my Cat-A-Versary party. Carter's going to be there. My mom's coming. She's auditioning for the musical "Cats" at the community theater, so she's been spending a lot of time at the café to research cat behavior.
[Kat gives the coffee to Sheila.]
Here's your coffee, mother.
[Sheila drinks her coffee.]
Look, I get that you're still upset with me for reaching out to your ex-girlfriend while on sleeping medication not prescribed to me, but-- Oh, men's room? Still undeterred. Deterred. Definitely deterred.
[Oscar puts up a sign that reads: "Happy Cat-A-Versary!".]
Thanks. I've been doing squats.
Katherine, please help me get this feline off my lap.
Oh, Mr. Mousekers never falls asleep in someone's lap.
Well, he's been here quite a while, and now I have to use the ladies' room, and his weight is pressing on my bladder.
Please don't bring up his weight. He just got his confidence back up. Mr. Mousekers! Uh-oh.
I don't think Mr. Mousekers is sleeping.
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the oven just crapped out. I mean, honestly, can you think of anything worse to happen before our Cat-A-Versary party?
Kat, he was old, but you gave him a great life. Every time he would lay on your laptop, you would just stop working so he could sleep there.
And then you bought him his own computer so he could lay right by you.
Which I'd like to call dibs on. Not the time.
I just have that same heavy feeling in my heart that I had when my dad died. And, disturbing coincidence, they both died on top of my mother.
Well, just remind yourself it's a cat and not a person.
Yeah, I know it's a cat and not a person. A cat that I loved very deeply. The first cat I rescued. The only cat who knew how to pee on a potty. And do you know who taught him to do that? No one. He learned just by observing human behavior. He was that smart.
Okay, I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
I'm gonna go upstairs for a little bit. Alone. Randi, I'm having Mr. Mousekers cremated. Can you pick up his ashes later today?
There's nothing I'd rather do. Well, there are some things, but once again, not the time.
And I'm gonna cancel the party. I don't even care if I don't get my deposit back on that ice cat sculpture.
I didn't want to burst her bubble, but I'm the one who taught that cat to pee on the toilet.
That's what's changed. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.
Okay. Okay. But, what's wrong with me, not wanting to lose you?
Max, I've been considering blowing up my entire relationship with a guy who makes me really, really, happy. You know what? I was gonna do that for a fantasy like: "I don't even believe you can fly!", but I know that Oscar has at least 2 kinds of mustard.
He found out my middle name.
(gasps) That rat bastard!
I just don't need him knowing every little detail about my life.
Well, I like when people know every little detail about my life. I wish I could wear one of those medical bracelets, but, instead of allergies, it would have fun facts about Kat. I'd call them Kat Facts.
