Oscar quotes from Call Me Kat

So, I tossed the bag in the back of my truck, got in the truck, realized it wasn't my truck, which is really problematic, because I took a sip of the coffee. Got that all sorted out. And then, when I turned the key in my truck to hightail it out of there, the perfect getaway song just happened to be playing on the radio.

Carter and Oscar: Was it "Getaway Car" by Taylor Swift?

OOscar

No way. You're a Swiftie.

Don't call it that. But, yeah.

Anyway, it was "Bad to the Bone".

Max

That's much better.

Debatable.

Kat, you have got to be careful. The karma gods will make you pay for what you do not pay for.

Oh, I have no regrets. Pete is a monster. He tried to sell me 2 snakes. That's how you end up with a hundred snakes. I know snake math!

CJ keeps bugging me to get a snake. I said, not till you get your grades up. And it's still no.

Max

What's up with his grades?

They're not up. Here's what it sounds like when I make him do his homework. CJ, stop playing video games and do your homework. And he says, "I want to live with mom full time!". Then I put on some T Swift and think about my life.

Wait. Max can help CJ.

Max

I would love to help. I was voted teacher of the year when I taught in that remote village in Burma. I mean, I was the only teacher on that side of the mountain, but I still think I would have gotten it.

S1 E11 Moving In

View quote →

OOscar

Hey.

Hey.

OOscar

I'm, uh, literally sore, like I worked out last night, like I did leg day.

Can you stop smiling at me like that? You're making me feel exposed.

OOscar

I'll try. Nope, not possible. And I have class tonight, so I won't see you, but I will be thinking of you and thinking of last night.

Well, I can't stop you from thinking, so think away. Randi, Randi, can I run a moral quandary by you? You know how I had that salsa lesson with Max last night?

Uh-huh.

Well, afterward, I had a particularly sensual consensual evening with Oscar.

Kat, we're roomies. I heard everything. It sounded like y'all was installing hardwood floors in there.

Okay. Not embarrassed by that at all. Well, I'm feeling a little guilty because I think I may have transferred some of the spiciness of salsa with Max to Oscar. It was just rea--

[Randi sprays water on Kat's face with her water spray bottle.]

What was that for?

I told you, you were playing with fire. I had to put you out.

Okay. But I don't want to be with Max. I want to be with Oscar.

The problem is, you didn't tell Oscar that you were dancing with Max or getting heated up by Max. And unless you're planning a surprise party, you should hide nothing from your partner.

Okay. But, what...

[Randi sprays water on Kat's face with her water spray bottle, again.]

Nothing.

S1 E12 Salsa

View quote →

[first lines]

So, yeah. I'm throwing a Cat-A-Versary party because the café's been open a year. Can you believe it? It's a fundraiser for the humane society. There'll be cats in costumes and a photo booth and kettle corn.

Oh, kettle corn? You should've led with that. I'm in.

Great. So how's tall and grumpy doing?

Oh, he's a pure delight around me. But when I mentioned you earlier, he clenched his fists so hard, he broke the soda gun.

Well, I am undeterred. Hey, Max. I would love to see you at my Cat-A-Versary party. Carter's going to be there. My mom's coming. She's auditioning for the musical "Cats" at the community theater, so she's been spending a lot of time at the café to research cat behavior.

[Kat gives the coffee to Sheila.]

Here's your coffee, mother.

[Sheila drinks her coffee.]

Look, I get that you're still upset with me for reaching out to your ex-girlfriend while on sleeping medication not prescribed to me, but-- Oh, men's room? Still undeterred. Deterred. Definitely deterred.

[Oscar puts up a sign that reads: "Happy Cat-A-Versary!".]

Wow! That looks amazing.

OOscar

Thanks. I've been doing squats.

Sheila

Katherine, please help me get this feline off my lap.

Oh, Mr. Mousekers never falls asleep in someone's lap.

Sheila

Well, he's been here quite a while, and now I have to use the ladies' room, and his weight is pressing on my bladder.

Please don't bring up his weight. He just got his confidence back up. Mr. Mousekers! Uh-oh.

What's wrong?

Mommy?

Yes?

I don't think Mr. Mousekers is sleeping.

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the oven just crapped out. I mean, honestly, can you think of anything worse to happen before our Cat-A-Versary party?

S1 E13 Cat-A-Versary

View quote →

Kat, he was old, but you gave him a great life. Every time he would lay on your laptop, you would just stop working so he could sleep there.

And then you bought him his own computer so he could lay right by you.

Which I'd like to call dibs on. Not the time.

I just have that same heavy feeling in my heart that I had when my dad died. And, disturbing coincidence, they both died on top of my mother.

OOscar

Well, just remind yourself it's a cat and not a person.

Uh-oh.

Yeah, I know it's a cat and not a person. A cat that I loved very deeply. The first cat I rescued. The only cat who knew how to pee on a potty. And do you know who taught him to do that? No one. He learned just by observing human behavior. He was that smart.

OOscar

Okay, I'm sorry. That came out wrong.

I'm gonna go upstairs for a little bit. Alone. Randi, I'm having Mr. Mousekers cremated. Can you pick up his ashes later today?

There's nothing I'd rather do. Well, there are some things, but once again, not the time.

And I'm gonna cancel the party. I don't even care if I don't get my deposit back on that ice cat sculpture.