KJKen Jennings
You know, I was really hoping to sleep on this flight.
S3 E1Call Me Ken Jennings
Well, you're definitely better at making money than I am. But maybe I'm a little better at being nice to people.
Oh, I spoke to them. They're cool with you.
S3 E2Call Me Skeeter Juice
Here's an easy one. At what blood alcohol concentration are you impaired?
You can't drive with an expired license.
Watch me, 4 eyes.
Give me your keys.
If you want my keys, you'll have to take them.
Dang, that made my neck tingle.
S3 E3Call Me Thor
Now, Thor, some of the exhibits on early humans will feature some tasteful nudity.
So try not to stare.
And definitely, no touching. Learned that the hard way.
Grade school field trip?
Last month.
So, that's why the security guard keeps following us.
Look at you. Good with babies.
To be fair, I do the same thing with Carter when he's cranky. Do you want to hold him?
Oh, no thanks. The only, tiny, whiny thing I like is Phil.
I'm gonna go to the restroom before we hit the gem and mineral exhibit, because we are going to be there a long time. I get very fired up about igneous rocks. Lava, fire. But, when you see the plaque, you're going to erupt with laughter.
Stop it.
Okay. That was the last one. I promise.
S3 E4Call Me Donor Four-Five-Seven
[first lines]
Alright, thank you all for coming. Got a big announcement.
You getting a haircut?
You really think she asked all of us here at 7:00 AM to tell us that she's getting a haircut?
That's what I would do.
I know what it is. She's finally coming out. Everyone pay me.
Mother, I'm not gay.
She's definitely not gay. My gaydar never fails. Except with Anderson Cooper. How did I miss that?
Anyway, thank you all for being here. You're basically my family, even you, mother. So, here's my big news. I'm gonna have a baby!
What?
How?
When?
Why?
I'd like to circle back. What?
Uh, the correct response is "Yay, Kat! We're so happy for you!".
S3 E5Call Me Uncle Dad
Oh, my highness. You ain't seen nothing yet.
Seriously, 1 ply?! Might as well scoot on the floor like a puppy.
This is from you?
I had it made for the baby. You know, silver king bird. Silver Bird.
A Silver Bird Production.
Yeah, because I was gonna be the dad and you're gonna do the...
S3 E6Call Me The Hot Chick Two
[first lines]
Look who I'm kissing. It's Max! Can you believe it?!
So, last night was fun. But, also stuff that friends don't normally do.
Yeah. Yeah. Are we friends who just had a crazy night or are we...
S3 E7Call Me Dame Booty Clench
Hidden figures? It's about ladies who do math for the space program.
I know. Say it again.
Wait, you're really gonna go?
Yeah. She's losing her eyesight. And when they took away her license, I promised I would help her out.
Okay.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Call Me Kat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.