Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 7
Well, I certainly didn't off her. Where are you getting this? You know I can't.
Right. The chip.
No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then-- Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.
[to Buffy] As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip--they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own--for you.
I know.
So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause--God, help me, Buffy--it's still all about you.
I am Willow. I am Death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact fresh vengeance, and make your worst fears come true! OK?
There was this one guy, he hurt her real bad. So she paid him back. She killed him, but she did it real slow. See, first she stopped his heart, and then she replaced it with darkness, and then she made him live his life like that. But he still had to go do his job, see his friends, wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, but he had to do it all... empty. Without anything to look forward to... ever.
Sounds bad.
Well, then she tore out his intestines and rubbed it in his face and took pictures of it.
Oh, God.
But she's downstairs now. Don't worry about her.
I have to admit I'm glad it worked out this way, I was going to bleed Andrew but you look a lot better with your shirt off... To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of subtle... I think it's about time we brought some authority to our presence... Now Spike, you wanna see what a real vampire looks like?
[to Spike] You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I believe in you, Spike.
[to Willow] He's been feasting off human blood for weeks. He's been having some pretty bad withdrawals. I think we need to get him some blood.
[enthusiastically & happily] Do you want me to kill Anya?
No, we should probably try to wean him off humans. He'll have to make due with animal blood.
I'll go get some then.
...
You don't mind?
Oh no, I have to get out of the house, Xander is installing the new windows and he keeps giving lectures on proper tool maintenance. Tool talk not my thing.
Thank you.
Man, this place gives me the creeps. It's like in Wonder Woman, issue 297–299.
"Catacombs". Yeah, with the skeletons.
That was cool.
[Pause]
[embarrassed] Move it! This way!
[He shoves Andrew ahead.]
Hey, junior Slayers, don't look so worried. I mean, sure, we don't know where Spike is or how to fight the First, or if and when the super-styled vampire is gonna attack us all. However, house -- boarded up. Now all we gotta do is trap this Übervamp in the pantry, and it's game over.
Xander, newbies. Let's ease them into the whole "jokes in the face of death" thing.
Who's joking? That pantry thing could work. You saying M. Night Shyamalan lied to us?
Uhm, Buffy? I just.. I-I want you to know that I'm, I'm really sorry for letting you down. You know, here, before with the magic going all "aaah" and me going all "eeeh" and everything getting all "rrrr".
We're back at square one.
Which square would that be, exactly?
I'm not sure. The First predates everything we've ever known. Or can know. It's everywhere, it's pure. I don't know if we can fight it.
You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. [We] can't run, can't hide... can't pretend it's not the end 'cause it is. Something has always... been there to try and destroy the world. We've... beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First.
Buffy, I, um... I-I know you're... you're tired...
I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. [near sobbing] I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it is going to swallow me whole. [hardens] And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts, one by one, until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. Any questions?
[to Buffy] Are you sure this thing called itself The First?
Pretty sure. It claimed to be the original evil, the one that came before anything else.
Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?" [everyone stares at her] Or terrified. Whatever.
[Giles and Buffy discuss her encounter with a new breed of vampire]
Uh, what you fought was a vampire, but it was, um, something more than that. It was a Turok-Han. [Giles sees Buffy's nonplussed expression] As Neanderthals are to human beings, the Turok-Han are to vampires. Primordial, ferociously powerful killing machines, as single-minded as animals. They are the vampires that vampires fear. An ancient and entirely different race and, until this morning, I thought they were a myth."
Potential Slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes.
I'm with him. Keep the chatter down! Or speak up so I can hear you... I'm bored. Episode I bored.
...
[About Andrew.]
Um... why is that guy tied to a chair?
The question you'll soon be asking is, "Why isn't he gagged?"
[Xander is undoing the extremely tight ropes around Andrew's arms.]
Ow! Watch it, that's my joystick hand.
I'm not gonna touch that one.
...
You try anything, try to run---did you ever see the movie Misery?
Six times. But the book was scarier than the movie, 'cause instead of crushing his foot with a sledgehammer, Kathy Bates chops it off with...
[Andrew trails off as it sinks in. Buffy nods.]
I'll be good.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
