Shawn Hunter quotes from Boy Meets World

Chet

Shawn, I'm gonna do something I haven't done since you were a very little boy.

Shawn

Get a job?

Shawn

Dad, that's Mr. Turner's TV.

Chet

Well heck, you've been here for a year. Besides, teachers shouldn't be watching television anyway.

Shawn

Wow! And to think you were my only rich friend.

Cory

Comfortable. Never rich.

Shawn

Indoor plumbing? Rich.

Shawn

That's okay. You're my friend, and I'm gonna teach you how to be poor.

Cory

Would ya?

Shawn

Well, it's not gonna be easy. You come from a world of many pants.

Eric

Oh, that could be about anyone.

Shawn

Well the next song is called Eric Matthews, You're So Vain You Probably Didn't Know This Song Before It Was About You.

Eric

I'm famous!

Eric

Oh come on there's 2 billon people in the world this could be about anyone.

Shawn

Track 2 Eric Matthews, You're So Vain You Probably Didn't Know The Song Before This Was About You.

Eric

I'm famous!

Shawn

Mr. Feeny, you're on my side?

Feeny

Frightening, isn't it?

Cory

Shawn, I refuse to believe anything from those stupid tabloids.

Shawn

It's the New York Times, baby.

Cory

This is New York Times Trailer Park edition!

Shawn

It's exactly the same, except you can eat it!

Turner

Hey, Hunter! [walks over to Shawn, who is sleeping] Hey! [taps Shawn] How were you affected by that reading?

Shawn

[in his sleep] I don't wanna go to school, Daddy. Cory's reading poetry.

Turner

You get your butt out of that bed and get to class!

Shawn

[still sleeping] Okay... okay. [eyes closed, stands up clumsily and stumbles out of the class]

Turner

[deadpan] Gee, I wonder what's gonna happen.

Cory

I told you this was a great idea

Shawn

It's an episode of Cops waiting to happen.

Feeny

I'm sure you're all aware of the conflict in Burundi, which is now spilling over into Rwanda and Uganda.

Cory

He's making these names up.

Shawn

He's finally run out of stuff to teach.

Feeny

The Burundian conflict centers on class differences between the poorer Hutus and the richer Tutsis.

Shawn

We're gonna have to put a bag over him and drag him out of the room.

Cory

That way we save his dignity.

Topanga

If it's any consolation, I think you can do a lot better than Jennifer Bassett.

Shawn

You think so?

Cory

Wait a minute, Topanga, have you looked at her?

Topanga

Okay, so she's pretty, she's tall, she drives a red new convertible, heck, I'd go out with her.

Feeny

Interesting. In my class, Mr. Hunter handles the yipping.

Cory

[wakes up] Shawn! It's both of 'em!

Shawn

[wakes up and looks around, nervous] Oh, no. Now I don't know which class I slept through.

Shawn

Mr. Turner, what if my choice is to not do the assignment?

Turner

You want this one, George?

Feeny

No, no, your class. I get them after lunch.

Turner

Well, then you would get an F, not get into college, and spend your time hanging out at the local convenience store waiting for them to bring in a new batch of lottery tickets.

Shawn

And that would change my life... how?

Cory

Shawn?

Shawn

It's okay, it's okay. I thought I saw a poster of myself, but it was just a mirror.