Cory Matthews quotes from Boy Meets World

Topanga

Why are you looking at me like that?

Cory

I will always look at you like this.

Topanga

Well, stop.

Cory

Why?

Topanga

Because you're giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Cory

Good.

Cory

You know you guys never sent me to camp.

Alan

Are you insane?

Amy

We tried to send you to camp when you were eight, but we had to come and take you home.

Alan

Everyday you sent us letters telling us they were conducting medical experiments on you.

Cory

And they were!

Young friend, how far art thou traveling?

Cory

Me?

Yes, thee.

Cory

Ah, well I'm going to Philadelphia.

Well, I'm going as far as that farmhouse, there.

Cory

That farmhouse there?

Yes. That farmhouse, there.

Cory

I see. Well I'm going to Philadelphia.

Well, I could take you as far as that farmhouse, there.

Cory

And that's very nice of you, but maybe I'll just wait for some form of transportation that involves...combustion.

I understand. But if you change your mind, I'll be at that farmhouse, there.

Cory

Yes, but see if that's as far as you're going then it does me no good.

That is true. But my intent was just, and my heart is pure. [rides off]

Cory

Also does me no good.

Cory

Eric we have to go home and here's why, I'm completly out of clean underwear.

Eric

Eh' Big deal, I ran out a week ago. I'm sittin' pretty.

Cory

Yes but you see, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants.

Cory

I want to go home.

Eric

I want you in pants!

Topanga

Cory, one little haircut is not going to change me.

Cory

Where are you going?

Topanga

This outfit with this hair? Hello, buh bye, I am so at the mall.

Shawn

Wow! And to think you were my only rich friend.

Cory

Comfortable. Never rich.

Shawn

Indoor plumbing? Rich.

Shawn

That's okay. You're my friend, and I'm gonna teach you how to be poor.

Cory

Would ya?

Shawn

Well, it's not gonna be easy. You come from a world of many pants.

Topanga

You think this is funny?

Cory

No, Mistress Topanga, I think this is the opposite of funny. I think it's...wood.

Cory

Shawn, I refuse to believe anything from those stupid tabloids.

Shawn

It's the New York Times, baby.

Cory

This is New York Times Trailer Park edition!

Shawn

It's exactly the same, except you can eat it!

Cory

For once, just listen to me, man. In the classroom under my desk is a key. The key will open ariport locker number B-378. In the locker, you will find a tattered plaid valise. In the valise, you will find my homework for five years. See, for all these years I understood everything. I'm actually a brilliant student.

Feeny

What is the capital of Montana?

Cory

You're not going to the airport, are ya?

Cory

You know we've lived in the same room for 15 years and you never even told me about your first time.

Eric

Remember Mitchell Davis?

Cory

That's an unexpected surprise- how 'bout your second time?

Eric

Bear with me. Now, you know that Mitch and I were always competing: Who could- who could run the fastest, who could shoot the most baskets, who could catch the most flies...

Cory

Oh, please, get to it.

Eric

Well, one day Mitch shows up here with a brand new bike; three-speed, emerald green, speedometer on the handle.

Cory

Wait, that's the same one you had.

Eric

Right that's why Mitch got his but you see, to show me up, Mitch's didn't have any training wheels on it. So I beg Dad, "Dad you gotta take these training wheels off". Dad said I wasn't ready. Well apparently Mitch wasn't either because one day we're riding down Oakhurst Drive...

Cory

Ah, Dead Man's Hill.

Eric

Right. Mitch falls off his bike, slams his head into a couple of trash cans, and that my friend is why Mitchell Davis repeated the sixth grade eleven times.

Cory

Eric what could this possibly have to do with me and Topanga and moving past kissing?

Eric

Cory, sex is like a bike without training wheels. Try it before you're ready, you're gonna fall off and break your head.

Cory

I told you this was a great idea

Shawn

It's an episode of Cops waiting to happen.

Cory

So, the Hunters' trailer is right over there.

Eric

The one that looks like all the other ones?

Cory

Yeah, that's it.

Feeny

I'm sure you're all aware of the conflict in Burundi, which is now spilling over into Rwanda and Uganda.

Cory

He's making these names up.

Shawn

He's finally run out of stuff to teach.

Feeny

The Burundian conflict centers on class differences between the poorer Hutus and the richer Tutsis.

Shawn

We're gonna have to put a bag over him and drag him out of the room.

Cory

That way we save his dignity.

Topanga

If it's any consolation, I think you can do a lot better than Jennifer Bassett.

Shawn

You think so?

Cory

Wait a minute, Topanga, have you looked at her?

Topanga

Okay, so she's pretty, she's tall, she drives a red new convertible, heck, I'd go out with her.