This country works Alan. You Democrats don't want to admit it. Oh, I'm not saying there aren't kinks! Foam chips off the occasional space craft, we start the odd war on false pretenses, but by and large...America works! That's why I'm completely nuts about it.
S3 E12Nuts
You can change one thing, what is it?
I'd get rid of stores that end in Mart.
Everyone here is named Denny Crane. These are just the ones within driving distance, of course, since airplane travel is not an option.
And Clarence needs to get back to work. I can't afford Oprah.
S3 E13Dumping Bella
I'll let you play with my gun.
Your gun goes off too prematurely for me, Denny. It always has.
[During an office meeting about a costume party]
BBrad
This is so high school.
As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
BBrad
I won.
Did not!
Shut up!
[In court]
Hold on just one second; are you a midget?
Are you an imbecile?
Uh...objection!
Sustained.
Objection!
Overruled!
Objection!
Sustained!
[during closing arguments in court] I'm simply saying that we, as a people, as a nation, like to feel pretty. It's who we are. And if it means a few young rabbits have to sacrifice their lives, well, they and their families can take heart because they did so for their country. Because, when you think about it, all we really hope for at this point is to save face.
Alan, you've got to help me dump Bella. I'm not good when it comes to breaking up with women; I'm too soft.
Denny, you shoot people.
I thought of that, but it would be illegal. Except in Florida.
First of all, I will say, for the record, I don't believe in all that moisturizer, botox, fountain of youth poopycock!
Oh please, Judge, how else could you look like you do at a hundred?
[after breaking up with Bella] I didn't have to shoot her!
[Shirley and Denny high-five each other]
[At the office costume party. Alan is dressed as Shirley Schmidt.]
What's it like being Shirley?
The thong is a little uncomfortable.
S3 E14Selling Sickness
BBrad
Could I get you to put your tongue back in your mouth there, soldier?
Thank goodness we have you, Brad, to keep track of our tongues. Would you like a list of the places mine has been this week?
BBrad
Perv.
It's gonna get ugly, Shirley.
Denny Crane ugly.
Hmm-mm.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Boston Legal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.