I love you and I'm willing to do irrational things to prove it.
S8 E2The Gunk in the Garage
S8 E3The Gunk in the Garage
I'm a psychologist, a profiler.
OSAgent Olivia Sparling
You've got to be kidding. I'm working with a shrink.
I'm more than just a shrink ok? The Bureau gave me a gun. [lifts his blazer to reveal a gun] I should take the lead on questioning people. It's kinda my thing.
SSparling
Just don't shoot me.
You're gonna have to justify your department's expenses at the quarterly budget review.
Me? No not me. I work in the field.
That's why you are doing it. Big burly agent like you will intimidate those pencilnecks. I'd wave your gun around a little too if I were you.
There's gotta be someone else here.
No, sorry cherie, but there is no one burlier and cuter than you.
Stop.
[...]
You just go through all the supplies we used last quarter, cost, manpower, techs and such, then estimate the cost for the coming quarter.
Supplies?
Kevlar vests, ammo, toner for the printers.
Toner?
The government doesn't function without toner, cherie.
If I get this promotion I wouldn't be in the field as much. But hey, that could be a good thing.
But you'd be behind a desk. You'd hate that.
But I would get a raise and I will love that.
A desk job? It's like caging an animal. You're meant to run free, Booth.
Sparling doesn't seem to trust how I as a psychologist perform my job.
She thinks you're an idiot?
I wouldn't say that but in layman's terms...yes.
Look, you're the psychologist. Point your little shrinky brain at her and pull the trigger.
[Booth hung up on him] Hello? Yeah? [explaining to Sparling] He usually hangs up without saying goodbye. It's our thing. It's 'cause we're close.
You said there was a casualty. Who was it?
Sweets. He'll be fine.
Sweets. That boy's got the goods. But you better not tell him I said that.
[smiles] No problem. As far as the world is concerned, you're a horrible person.
I'm sorry you're not getting the promotion.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You know, for lying to me, thank you. I mean, I know it's a white lie, but I mean look at you, being all sweet and lying to me.
I didn't want you to get the promotion?
Why? Because I'm a man of action and not someone who's going to rot behind a desk?
No, because who else will take me out into the field?
That's a good point, Bones.
But truthfully, I am sorry that you're disappointed.
I'm not disappointed.
[smiles] Because you're a man of action who would rot behind a desk?
That's right! A man of action!
Can I start buying you things now?
No, you can't, but I'll tell you what: you can buy Christine stuff.
I know you'd like a new grill.
Christine would love a new grill. She would love it.
Baby girls need new grills.
Baby girls, and a new tool set! [motions to the food] And what is this?
It's quinoa.
Quinoa?
Quinoa.
And what is that?
It's a grain. It's a lot of protein --
When I get the new grill we can grill steaks!
S8 E4The Tiger in the Tale
Dr. Saroyan, have you seen the excrement that I left on my desk?
What kind of lunatic wants a wild animal as a pet?
CCam
I think "lunatic" pretty much describes who we're talking about.
I could call in an anonymous tip like "I hear roaring at night."
I was thinking more along the lines of looking at satellite photos on the internet and seeing if any of the farms shout "tiger."
CCam
That is brilliant.
When I am President, killing tigers will be a death penalty offense.
Whoa. The President isn't actually a dictator, Bones.
S8 E5The Method to the Madness
[At the crime scene]
CCam
[about Sweets] He's going through an "early life crisis". Good luck.
Good luck??? I don't need luck. This is not about luck. [Cam looks at him] This is about a friend extending to another friend. Like an olive branch. [frustrated] Stop. Can we just stop and deal with this here, the remains...
[Hodgins hands Cam a bag of remains and human organs spill out onto the floor.]
Ohhh. No guts, no glory.
[shows Sweets into Parker's room] Parker won't be visiting us for a couple of months so...sorry about all the junk and toys.
Oh, no...beats the hell out of my office. Look at all this stuff. Kids from broken homes really rake in the material goods by way of compensation. [Booth stares at Sweets]
Right. [takes a photo from a case file and hands it to Sweets] Take a look at this. Take a closer look, all right?
[takes photo from Booth] What? [looks at photo and grimaces in disgust] Oh my god!! This corpse is so mutilated!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.