Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Booth

Christmas is the perfect time to reevaluate your standing with...(points upward)

Brennan

A helicopter pilot?

Brennan

X-rays, pictures: we're going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.

Zack

Kid gloves?

Brennan

Latex should be all right... Zack, were you being metaphoric?

Zack

I decided to give it a shot. Which is also metaphoric.

Brennan

I can't go to Los Angeles. I have an Iron Age warrior to authenticate.

Booth

Iron Age warrior? When was the Iron Age?

Brennan

Fifteen hundred years ago.

Booth

Fresh body bits; just a little more urgent.

Brennan

You do realize there are a lot more fresh bodies than there are perfect specimens from the Iron Age?

Booth

You know, when you say things like that, it's just to bug me, right?

You have the most beautiful bone structure.

Brennan

I can't take credit. It's genetic.

Brennan

You're ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?!

Booth

I'm wondering if Rachel ever took part in one of those two-on-one specials?

Hodgins

Hey! The old two-on-one special! Classic!

Zack

What's a classic?

Booth

That's great. Just send me whoever she worked with the most.

Brennan

You're ordering a hooker to my hotel?!

Zack

Did I hear you say hooker?

Hodgins

Hey, how come I never get to go on these out of town trips?

Booth

You have much looser daily allowances than I do.

Brennan

Well, have fun.

Brennan

She thought she was ugly. She did everything she could to make herself beautiful, and all she did was make herself more invisible.

Booth

Everybody in this city thinks they're ugly, and nobody is. I'm starting to get why you hate anonymous death so much.

Brennan

We were born unique, our experiences mold and change us, we become someone, all of us, and to have that taken away by murder, to be erased from existence against our will it's just...

Booth

Evil.

Brennan

Unacceptable. These bones you bring me, I give them a face, I say their names out loud, I return them to their loved ones and you arrest the bad guy. I like that.

Um, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over three hundred thousand copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a best-selling author and crime-fighting scientist?

Brennan

Well, I do one, then the other.

Pickering

Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?

Brennan

How could I possibly know what you watched on television?

Pickering

Yes, that was her.

Goodman

Perhaps you should work your way up to Dr. Brennan.

Booth

FBI!

US Marshals!

Booth

US Marshals?

Brennan

Forensic anthropologist! That's why no gun.

Booth

You know, if this works, I'm gonna buy you a puppy.

Brennan

That would be inadvisable.

Pickering

Can you tell me what you were doing in Cuba?

Brennan

Only if you tell me first.

Pickering

I beg your pardon?

Brennan

I don't know your security clearance.

Pickering

Well, what is your security clearance?

Brennan

You should check with the State Department.

Pickering

I'm from the State Department.

Brennan

Then that should make it easy for you.

Pickering

When you were in Cuba, did you meet with a man called [consults notebook] Juan Guzman?

Brennan

[holds up finger, dials a number from memory] This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian; you told me to call you if anyone ever asked about...him. [In response to question] Someone from the State Department, an Agent Pickering. [she hands the phone to Pickering]

Pickering

[picks up phone, annoyed] Pickering. Yes Sir, yes, I'll wait here. [hands the phone back to Brennan to hang up, looks shocked]

Brennan

Any other questions?

Pickering

No. No, the review has been suspended. I've been ordered to wait here until someone comes to destroy my notes.

Brennan

[disgusted] Who does this? Cuts a finger off an eight-year-old boy?

Booth

Mercenaries, professionals. They don't feel a thing.

Brennan

I feel things, Booth.

Booth

Never said you didn't, Bones.

Brennan

I'm a "professional", too. I do better work if I only see the finger and not the child. It doesn't mean I'm like them.

Booth

Look, I know that, Bones, but what I also know is that they made a big mistake sending us that finger.

Brennan

Why? Because it made you mad?

Booth

No. Because you're gonna use it to catch them. So, you gather up your squint squad. Let's get to work.

Booth

No, you don't have to solve the whole case. Just tell me if I'm looking at a murder. Maybe, you know, pull a quick I.D.?

Brennan

Don't use your charm smile on me.

Booth

What? It's a mark of respect. That's all.

Booth

Unbelievable. [sighs and goes over to pick up some comic books] This is quite the collection of comic books.

Brennan

Hodgins said that the cellulose mass was a graphic novel. He sent it to Angela for analysis and recovery.

Booth

Sweet.

Brennan

Sweet?

Booth

Ah, he has Batman #127, featuring The Hammer of the Thor. This is worth about three hundred bucks.

Brennan

Booth, are you a nerd?

Booth

First of all, you mean geek. And no, I'm not, okay? It's quite normal for an American male to read comic books.

Brennan

I find it hard to believe you have anything in common with Warren Granger.

Booth

Oh, you mean isolated, with an inner secret life? No, okay. I'd say you were more like Warren.

Goodman

All writers reveal more of themselves than they intend on their page.

Booth

You know, I've gotta tell you, I never bought all that English 101 stuff. Sometimes a river is just a river.

Brennan

[to Goodman] With all due respect, my writing, for example, is pure fiction.

Goodman

Dr. Brennan, I fear you reveal much more of your worldview in your writing than you realize.

Brennan

Such as?

Goodman

Such as, archeologists make good administrators because they enjoy tedium.

Angela

Such as, artists are doomed to a life of loneliness because they are unable to think beyond instant gratification.

Booth

Such as, you know, FBI guys are hot and Angela here wants to have sex with me.

Angela

Yeah.