S Scalper
On this paper, you'll find a phone number. It's the direct line to the concession stand inside. Call it, and when the guy picks up, give him the pass phrase.
S Scalper
The pass phrase is (whispering, rattled coughing)
S Scalper
Word to the wise: two guys work at the concession stand. One is cool, the other is not.
Okay. Um, what are their names?
S Scalper
They're both named Nick.
S Scalper
If the uncool Nick answers, hang up right away.
How are we supposed to know which Nick we're talking to?
S Scalper
You'll know the cool Nick, 'cause, you know, he sounds cool.
S Scalper
Another word to the wise.
S Scalper
The uncool Nick knows we do this, so sometimes he tries to sound cool, and he's very good. It's almost impossible to tell the difference.
Wait, I know how we can get back in front of Pesto.
That's right, it's not a race Lin. It's a war.
A Austin
Quick question: how big is your crotch?
A Austin
For your harness. You look like a medium, but I don't want to assume.
A lot of things, Felix, but right now I want money for a dog.
F Felix
You owe money to a dog?
Am I drunk, or are you guys having a weird conversation?
Louise (on the phone) : Hello? Millie? Millie? Millie? Millie?
Give it 12 more Millie's and call it a day!
Well, we're dissolving the poster business. Janine wants out.
Yeah, well, the pet shop down the street offered to buy the rest of the posters at a deep discount. They're gonna shred them for hamster cage bedding. The guy was really impressed with how much hamster urine they could absorb.
All right, let's great treatin'!
Yeah, let's turn some tricks!
Should we just go home and eat spoonfuls of sugar?
I know where there's a hummingbird feeder.
I'm ready for tub and tuck-in.
What? Are you kidding me?! We're not "Hallo-quitters", we're "Hallo-winners"!
But no houses are giving out candy, woman!
We don't need candy to have fun.
You shut your damn mouth.
Look at us, tracking a wild animal like it's no big deal.
Yeah, I haven't had this much fun following in somebody's footsteps since I started dressing like Mom... earlier today.
[exhausted] Wow, running with a coffee table's hard. No wonder no one does that.
Why does that girl talk like a Gremlin?
Okay, before we do this, let's talk weapons. What'd everybody bring?
Wait, what? None. Why are we talking weapons now? There was a much better time to do this, back when we were near weapons.
Well, I have extras. You're welcome. (sighs) Okay, here's what I got: ruler, for slapping or poking.
You could also take the key chain, and you could force it down a throat.
Yeah, you could sneak it into someone's mouth.
"Hey, what's that? Oh, keys in your mouth."
Uh, you know, mace, knife... but I'm keeping those.
All right, kids said the corner of Garfield and Jackson, but those streets don't intersect.
She's not good with directions, Bob. Nobody is in our family. We're lucky we ever get anywhere. We're so stupid!
Listen, that thing can be explained. I don't know how, but it can.
No, Bob! We have to go forward. It's like IKEA. We can't turn back.
Watch out for Swedish meatballs!
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bob's Burgers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
