Bob's Burgers Season 1 quotes

Tinabot, commence to the AV closet. I want to show you something. It's something I haven't shown anyone. Not even Zeke.

Tina

Wow, a secret, and a zekeret.

Sorry ballroom's been cancelled. The teacher just waltzed out of here. Get it? I'm kidding. She died.

Ok class, today we're going to dissect a banana. We only have 2, so get into groups of 13.

Louise

Oh no, if I don't do something about this Regular Sized Rudy is getting big time screwdy.

Tina

Maybe this is our wake-up call. We should stop eating cat food.

Gene

I have been throwing up on the rug.

Tina

So let's do it. We'll have a normal day where we don't think about cat food at all.

Gene

Everyone ready to go to the cat food audition today?

Tina

Oh damn it.

Louise

Atta girl.

Bob

And we can't forget the most important role of all

Tina

With great jury comes great responsibility.

Tina

So not great?

Gene

Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!

Tina

So what's the verdict?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, kid, you got to pay for that.

Gene

Why would they do this to me? Why would they change Chunky Blast Offs? And where's Ronnie? (grabs checkout desk). I want my usual convenience store checkout guy!

Ronnie joined the Peace Corps.

Gene

NOOOOOO!

Tina

I'm going to bed. I don't remember which room I'm in but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.

Gene

She's going to be wandering around up there all night.

Louise

Yup, she belongs to the hotel now.

I still can't believe your mom. Those were some crazy smother mother moves last night.

Tina

Yeah. As Bernadette would say, give me some space.

Linda

I like sandwiches.

Gene

You smell like you do.

Linda

You smell interesting too. You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around?

Now we need to find some passion in your delivery. What really gets you going?

Tina

You mean what makes me tick?

What makes you tick-tick-tick explode? Think of things that get you mad. I think of when they canceled Firefly. You try.

Tina

I guess it makes me mad that they call it your bottom when it's in the middle.

Okay.

Tina

Or why do horseshoes only come in one style? Why can't they have horse sandals?

Find your Firefly, come on.

Tina

I got a Canadian quarter in change. It's worthless unless I take a special trip to Canada to buy gum. [groans]

You'll get there.

Bob

It's the best movie of meat dancing and then its head falling off that I've ever seen. Since Magic Mike.

Tina, you seem to have noticed Duncan, our exchange student from somewhere.

New Zealand.

Right. It's so far away that Duncan went through puberty on the plane.

It's true. I got pit scrubbies and other scrubbies, a couple of chesties. Oh, a new one. Want one?

Tina

Um, one of your chesties?

Yeah. They just twist off. Want me to twist you off a chestie?

Tina

Yes? I-I mean no. No. No.

Sasha, you want one?

Yeah, I'll take one.

Buttle Rubbies.

Tina Belcher

What are dinner dolls?

You need a doll to eat here. Like some restaurants say jacket required, or ma'am that bathing suit needs a bottom.