Jim Walsh quotes from Beverly Hills, 90210

Jim

I love it when you talk crossword.

Jim

Well, I think I invented a new tax loophole: declare yourself a hostage and deduct the ransom.

Brandon

Come on, Dad, you know how hard I work. And last night Nat tells me that I can't go to Palm Springs this weekend with all of my friends because his sister's sick, and now I have to work all weekend, but you don't hear me complaining, do ya?

Jim

Yes.

Jim

So, which one is "Keep it Together?"

Cindy

Oh, you know, it's the one about that uh, cute little orphan girl, Flipper.

Brenda

Mom, it's Skipper. And she's not an orphan anymore.

Brenda

Mom, these performance-oriented coffeehouses are really happening, I mean I really felt a part of it.

Cindy

Right, is this button crooked?

Jim

No, it's fine

Brenda

And Dad I'm pregnant.

Brenda

Just testing.

Brenda

[to her mother] You told him, didn't you?

Jim

Brenda, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Brenda

Dad, I know that. I just didn't want you getting upset over nothing.

Jim

I'm not upset!

Brenda

Well, why not?

Jim

Because it...could be a million things!

Brenda

Like what?

Jim

I don't know. Maybe it's...well, an ingrown hair.

Brenda

An ingrown hair? On my left breast? I sincerely hope not. You know, Mom, this is why I didn't want you to tell him, this is the kind of explanation Brandon would come up with.

Brandon

What is?

Nothing!

Brandon

Uh huh...

Brenda

Doesn't anyone know any more jokes? Dylan?

Dylan

None that I could tell here.

Cindy

[Answers the phone] Hello?

Jim

Honey, it's the doorbell.

Brenda

For a moment there, I thought that maybe I was pregnant. My period was a few days late, so I got worried.

Jim

Well, did you do something that would...give you reason to believe that if you... were a few days late that...that would indicate that you were pregnant?

Brenda

You mean like sex?

Jim

Yes, something like that.

Brenda

Yes, of course.

[talking about Hawaii] It's a great place to drop your inhibitions, Jim, you know? Grow a beard, swim naked.

Jim

How...alternative.

Brandon

Oh, come on, Dad, let's do it, let's just drop out for a while.

Cindy

Couple of weeks in Hawaii doesn't sound bad to me right now.

It is a magical place, you should have seen Dylan when he was there, it even mellowed him out.

Dylan

It didn't mellow me out, I was bored out of my gourd.

Brenda

Can I say something? Can I please say something?

Jim

No, you cannot say something. Don't say a word. I'm finished listening to what you have to say, Brenda, do you understand me?

Brenda

No, I don't understand you. I don't understand anything!!

Brenda

Can I say something? Can I please say something?

Jim

No, you cannot say something. Don't say a word. I'm finished listening to what you have to say, Brenda, do you understand me?

Brenda

No, I don't understand you. I don't understand any of this!!

Jim

Brenda, come back here! [Brenda ignores him] Brenda, come back here this minute!

Brenda

[she turns around to face him, angry] You know, you are wrong, Dad. You've been wrong for a long time. You're wrong about me, and you're wrong about Dylan! But you're right about one thing: Dylan and I shouldn't be sneaking around, and I shouldn't have lied to you, and I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I'm in love with Dylan, Dad. He's an important part of my life, and I'm going to see him whenever and wherever I want.

Jim

Brenda, I'm warning you. You walk away from me right now, things will never be the same.

Brandon

There's a guy at school named Josh Richland. He's a junior and he writes for the newspaper and... uh... he's been doing a little digging about me.

Jim

What skeletons could he possibly find in your closet?

Brandon

The female kind.

Jim

What's wrong with that? You're 19, you're single.

Brandon

And she's 26 and married.

Jim

I see.

Brandon

Actually, if you want to get technical about it, she got divorced, but that's not the worst about it.

Jim

Okay, go ahead and hit me. Nothing could shock me now.

Brandon

She's on the faculty.

Jim

I'm shocked.