Let bygones be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?
RobinI'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!
You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to forgive...divine.
...
[After being buzzed by Joker while shaking hands] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be KAPUT, FINI, DEFUNCT!
What took you so long, Batgirl?
Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And you wouldn't want me to speed, would you?
Robin
Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!
Rules are rules, Robin. But you do have a point.
Robin
How about rushing the place, Batman?
Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big.
[Penguin snatches Chief O'Hara's pocket watch, but then O'Hara and everyone else gets up after pretending to be asleep]
You won't be needin' a watch where you're going!
You'll need a calendar - a 20-year calendar!
This is impossible! You're all infected with Lygerian Sleeping Sickness!
CMiss Clean
Oh, you see that's what happens, Pengy-poo, when you're sending off *flies* to do a *man's* job!
Robin
That's right, Pengy-poo! We're just sleepwalking!
What do you say to a little sleep-fighting, Robin?
Robin
Huh! Good idea, Batgirl!
[Batman and Robin, hoping to rescue a captured Batgirl from Shame, find an unconscious Frontier Fanny instead.]
Robin
They've got Batgirl and we've got Fanny.
That hardly seems like a fair trade, does it, Robin?
Are you ready to be incarcerated, King Tut?
With the greatest pleasure. You could jail me for a million years and I wouldn't flinch an inch. Oh, at last, Nirvana is within my grasp.
You appear to be quite breezy for a man about to be tucked away.
I know, and so would you if you knew what I know; and if I know you, no doubt you know what I now know. Why waste my time with someone who knows, I have to find someone who doesn't know. [to Chief O'Hara] Do you know? No.
Sounds like The Riddle of the Sphinx.
Nothing so simple as that, dear lady. I hold the key to the riddle of the ages. You're too late, Dynamic Dimwits.
Robin
Holy waste of energy.
Nothing. He's been running off at the mouth about some secret or riddle.
The beans, so to speak, are about to be spilled. Batman and Robin, prepare to meet the end of your usefulness. Lady and gentlemen, Batman and Robin are... [BABBLES]
Robin
It's only gonna prolong the agony, Batman.
Not necessarily, Robin. That blow on his head could be exactly what saves us. I certainly hope so.
You were about to tell us a secret, King Tut.
King Tut? My name is William Omaha McElroy... and I'm professor of Egyptology at Yale University.
You don't remember what you were going to tell us?
Who do you have a purple mask on, lady? I'm going to be late for class.
Uh, just a moment, professor.
You can't walk off like this.
Harvard people, nice speaking to you.
[Robin looks at Batgirl.]
Robin
You know something, Batman?
Robin
She looks very pretty when she's asleep.
I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum.
Alfred (whispering into Bruce Wayne's ear): It's the Bat-Phone, sir.
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batpoles!
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batcave!
BWBruce Wayne/Batman
To the Batmobile!
DGDick Grayson/Robin
Holy (subject), Batman!
(at end of episode) Tune in tomorrow/next week, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.
Batman · 221 quotes
