Bomber quotes from Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Wyman

It weighs a ton!

Bomber

We’ll have to help them offload it at the other end.

Oz

What now we’re bloody pallbearers!

Some days we saw planks. Some days we lay bricks. Some days we cart Cuban coffins. All part and parcel, Den says.

Dennis

Moxey!

What?

Dennis

Bollocks!

Barry

I love the traffic lights here. I love the way they sparkle and glitter like a kaleidoscope of colours.

Oz

There’s no traffic lights in this street, Barry.

Barry

Yes there are! Green, gold, turquoise, blue, I love the butterflies too!

Bomber

There’s no ruddy butterflies!

Barry

There’s millions of them! There wings sparkling with innerdescence.

Oz

Wait a minute, did you eat anything back there? Awwww, his trippin’, his trippin’!

Barry

Aw look, there’s one settled on my nose!

Oz

Give us the wheel! Give us the wheel!!

Bomber

Well saying you do get her back to the North-East, well how do you think that will work then?

Oz

What do you mean?

Bomber

Well it’s a bit of a culture shock isn’t it?

Oz

Oh, I’ll adjust quick enough man!

Dennis

Seriously man, look at all these South American football players, they’ve signed for the Premier League and one minute it’s sunshine and samba, next minute...it’s Middlesbrough!

Wyman

Bloody hell! Neville the spy!

Neville

I’ve hated every minute of it, lying to all of you, lying to my wife. I’m not even very good at it. I had to doctor a bloke’s drink one night. You know, knock out drops.

Go ay!

Oz

Hells teeth, That’s bloody hardcore!

Neville

I drank it myself!

Dennis

Sorry.

Neville

I’m glad this has happened really, it’s been a terrible strain. I’m really glad you did this, really. Thanks.

Bomber

Let it all come out Neville, don’t hold anything back.

Barry

I think this is where we should all hug.

Oz

Dear me, you look like you’re bloody sopranos.

Big relief though, ey?

Neville

Yeah.

I bet you feel like you’ve just passed a bowling ball.