Aqua Teen Hunger Force · Season 1
Wha, oh come on! We're lookin' for my thing, together, we're like buds, it's cool. Hey, you fly. You go, why don't you go check the gutters.
But, why would it be up in the gutters, Shake?
That's where your DVD burner ended up, when it decided not to work.
Oh, I damn sure better not find that up there!
Well, that's the last place I remember chucking it.
[Frylock flies to the roof.]
[yelling] Hey! Dammit! You did throw my DVD burner up here!
I have some parents, Frylock?
Hell no, you don't have any damn parents!
This is your captain speaking and welcome to the glass-bottom boat ride at the world famous Trenton Tar Pits. I just wanna let you all know I'm a convicted sex offender.
Tar, well, I tell ya if I wanna smell like a shingle, I go get my frisbee and my tanktop and my Captain EO out of the gutter.
There ain't nothin' down here but tar and a condom wrapper! This is gross!
All right, and I'm back, ladies and gentlemen. They won't be bothering us anymore. I chased them off with my nudity...does that arouse anyone down there, or...
What does that mean?
It means that we're gonna get off this boat right now.
Okay, and we've docked...and I feel a little sexy.
Who down there wants to meet the captain? And feel sexy with him.
Oooh, I do, I wanna meet the captain!
No, you don't.
Ah, jee whiz! This is the greatest gift I ever got in my life that I never wanted ever!
Oh, I didn't see your knock-offs there, nice. Are you goin' for the ironic look, or the look-I-don't-have-any-money look?
I don't know, which one would you do?
What's wrong with your elbow?
Oh, you didn't get that surgery. I'm sorry.
We don't have insurance.
Only two people have the easy-flow elbow, and one of them happens to be named Bruce Willis.
Santa's coming tonight Meatwad, so I really need your Christmas list—
Here.
…and if you've been a good boy this year, you may just get this…this L-shaped thing.
No, see, what that is, is a hair dryer.
You want a hair dryer?
Yeah.
For what? You don't have any-
Keep reading, next to the hair dryer.
This—this is a squiggle.
No, that's hair. You read it backwards, fool. So go get it.
Oh, man. I cannot wait. I got the oils, the candles, the works! When does that babe get here?
Carl, don't refer to her as a "babe", please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.
Look, just don't cash that check immediately. I wanna make sure that both of us marryin' her is gonna be, you know, legal.
Of course it is! What are you kidding me? Santa Claus ain't legal and he's around.
Well, I guess that makes sense, you know.
Look merry, dammit!
Shoo, that sure was a good sleep I had. WHERE ARE THE DAMN PRESENTS?!
It's 4:00 in the afternoon Meatwad, that wasn't Santa.
Well, you know, maybe Santa's just gettin' a jump start on things this year. 'Cause, you know, statistics they show that there are more people in the world today. That's China's fault.
Where do you get this information?
Regis.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
