TV show quotes
What about- Tom Hanks?
Tom Hanks isn't Jewish.
So, he HATES the Jews!
I can't speak for Tom Hanks, but he seems pretty likable. I doubt he flat-out HATES Jews.
So you see, not EVERY Jew is evil, right?
Shake, that's not the message here.
NO!
I'm just saying... We get people off drugs! We don't kill Jews!
Truly, they were.... an Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
(as the Aqua Teens drive away in the moving truck)
Your emergency brake is on!
Don't tell me how to drive, jackass!
[on Carl's used condoms, raked from his lawn] These is what—pudding tubes?
Yeah, that's it. Lap up that free pudding. Bill Cosby left it just for you.
These look like Vanilla Blast, but they taste like Sizzlin' Salt 'Splosion.
I christen thee Rubberman!
Yeah, no, it ain't that.
Slap on a little glove, and get ready for some love. Keep the gunk with my junk, when I load it in her very spacious trunk.
Is he alive? Cause I need someone to take me to the mall.
In a way, he is. He's coated in thousands of microscopic organisms.
Frylock, I know what sperm and bacteria is. What I'm saying is, will he come to life if I put this magic hat on his head.
Looks like he's already come to life.
But... I never had the chance to say goodbye."
Alright. Then put it back on.
Okay. [puts Lance's helmet back on]
Fools! No one will stop Rubberman! [Frylock incinerates him with a flamethrower] Oh, no! Someone IS stopping Rubberman!
[on Death Island]
I am bored. Let's go back home.
We parachuted here!
Yeah, I know, because it was cheaper!
The tickets said one-way.
Round-trip was INSANE. You want to pay those prices, be my guest!
Had we rented the boat like I wanted, we could get back in the boat and go home!
Well, we didn't do that, did we? Because someone didn't assert themselves enough. I keep telling you to read my book, Master Your Finances and $hake it Up!
[Shake opens the book]
"Chapter 1: Make Every Problem Your Slave." Seriously, did you even pick it up?
Yeah, we got a garage full of 'em.
Well, that's cause they didn't sell, because YOU shut the website down!
Hey, y'all, we can take these jetskis over here.
SHUT UP, Meatwad. I'm discussing my book over here!
Alright, Shake. You win. How do you make THIS problem your slave?
Well, I'll tell ya. "Rule 1: Assess the situation." (looks around) We are fucked.
Y'all see these jetskis?
"Rule 2: Apply blame." You, Frylock. You're the one.
What about these jetskis?
"Rule 3: Don't let the blame-ee hear about you blaming them." Hey, Meatwad, Frylock really jobbed us on this, didn't he?
Yeah, you probably shouldn't say that with him...standing right there. You see these jetskis?
"Rule 4: Make a suggestion, but don't own up to it in case it sucks." Hey guys, what if we make a boat out of sand, BUT it's a glass bottom boat? Then we can host tours for this roasted bird and get money to buy a plane ticket outta here from an airport that does not exist.
That idea sucks.
Yeah, I know. Whose idea was that, Meatwad?
Two jetskis, right over here.
Which leads me to rule 4. "Take well deserved nap." Good night, good luck, the end.
(In turkey clucks) Game over. Life over.
(Is laying on the beach with swelling bruise and a black eye) I do not...understand...what you are saying to me!
(In turkey clucks) I speak in turkey clucks.
Wait, what's that again?
(In turkey clucks) I...speak...in...turkey...clucks.
...Speak English! Why is that not a law everywhere?
(speaking English) He speaks only in turkey clucks.
(speaking English) He's an idiot.
All right, what do YOU want, you big, gay baby?!
[Group of chickens at the end]
I'm just throwing ideas at the wall here but...
[picks up Shake's self-help book]
...what if we build a giant daycare center, and put him in it?
WHAT THE FUCK?! The island is gone!
That's a stupid idea, Lyle!
What's your name, boy?
Meatwad.
Of the New Jersey Meatwads?
How was I supposed to know he was gonna do that?
He's like a damn worm, man. He's got no brain. You cut him up, and he'll multiply.
Wait a minute. Do you mean like in Tremors?
... Yeah, sure. Exactly like in Tremors.
[jumps onto a nearby keyboard instrument] Get off the ground! He feels the vibrations! You can float. Go get me food!
We've been tricked into entering the door!
I'm sorry I dragged you into this man.
No, I'm the sorry one.
No, no, no. I'm the sorry one.
Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm the sorry one.
You're both about to be very sorry, that you entered this horrid world! [draws an axe and slices Meatwad's Right Side in half] And that's called taking care of business.
Mama? Daddy?
Hey good buddy. Nice to meat you. I'm Meatwad!
So am I.
I am too!
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
We're all Meatwads!
Let's have a...tearful reunion.
Group hug everybody! [they hug each other]
Hey! I got an idea everybody!
You wanna play Candy Land?
YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUTTA MY BRAIN!
Let's play candy Land!
CANDY LAND!
Yeah, Candy Land!
(To Master Shake)
How about you, Shake?
Would you like to play Candy Land?
No, I would not. But I will show you what I do want to play. [Shows Master Shake outside cutting one of the Meatwad sides in half] I declare these Olympic Games, OPEN!
No, please. After you.
You go ahead.
Shut up.
I couldn't possibly. after you.
No, no, no, no, I insist -- after you.
Shut up, both of you.
: No, please. Your hands are full. You go ahead.
I ain't got hands.
But I just rather that you go first.
Why don't you just go ahead anyways?
No, no, I couldn't.
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! [slams the door and runs away in fear, but the door just opens back up]
[brief pause]
You lead the way.
No, you lead the way.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
